justfloating
Student
- Feb 13, 2020
- 172
I know I want to go but im scared and can't put my finger on exactly what it is. anyone relate ?
it's survival instinct, completely irrational and it keeps telling you you need to live no matter what; its a hurdle a lot of people trying to end their pain have to get through.
drake4871
The restless
- Sep 10, 2019
- 171
Welcome to the club! Just about everyone else here is scared lmao. You can call it the survival instinct (SI)
That being said what're you scared of exactly?
That being said what're you scared of exactly?
Melkus2020
Bad Character
- Feb 19, 2020
- 217
Yes it is scary at first. But deaths isn't scary. Once you die you won't have any fear or thoughts or conscience ever. Just fade out.
Anon2662
Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
- Feb 13, 2020
- 366
See for me it's not the dying part that scares me. That weirdly excites me.. it's the what comes after.. no one knows for definite and some of the possibilities freak me out. My hope is that I cease to exist entirely but I have my doubts..
justfloating
Student
- Feb 13, 2020
- 172
yeah I feel if I knew exactly what happens after death then I would be able to just do it. I assume it'll be like before I was alive, just not existing, but to exist and then not exist I can't imagine.
I think also curiosity about what will happen after I die and just wanting to know how other peoples lives turn out, it stops me from doing it. I want to be a ghost haha
I can't imagine what that feels like so the unknown is stopping me in part
partly what happens after death, but also the act of doing it. I want to die in the arms of a loved one but that isn't really an option when you choose to CTB
Deathbydemo
Mage
- Feb 15, 2020
- 518
I'm scared too but I'm not even sure what of. Like others said, I guess it's just in you and you can't explain why. Our brains are hardwired to cling to life against anything. If I had to pinpoint one thing to be scared of.. it's that it will ruin my sons life. I just want him to forget I ever even existed.
Melkus2020
Bad Character
- Feb 19, 2020
- 217
Sleep is kind of a sample of death. But you can wake up. Once you die there is no more awareness of self. You cease to exist.
Anon2662
Just a girl trapped in a psychological prison
- Feb 13, 2020
- 366
oh 100% it's just a fear of the unknown for me I guess.. thing is, (and I know many people will not believe this and I didn't at first either) but my mum can actually communicate with spirits and has done readings for people face to face and online, although not for many years. I never believed her, but then (and hand on heart this is the truth!) she told me we would soon be moving to a place surrounded by blue and yellow and months later we had to move to a newly built place and all the houses and flats are blue and yellow on the outside! I couldn't believe it!!! Soo that's where my doubts come from.. if my mum can talk to spirits, surely we can't just cease to exist.. ahhh heck I dunno. No one can know until they die.. I do like the idea of being a ghost and haunting the fuck outta people though haha! Friendly haunting to people I like and poltergeist shit to those who have done me wrong! Haha!
I'm scared too. But I guess I'm mostly scared of not working.
Because when I decide it's time to CTB, I want it to be it, to be the end for good.
So, the thought of it going wrong for any reasons (not doing it 100% right, someone finding me, or maybe pure bad luck) scares me the most.
Because when I decide it's time to CTB, I want it to be it, to be the end for good.
So, the thought of it going wrong for any reasons (not doing it 100% right, someone finding me, or maybe pure bad luck) scares me the most.
justfloating
Student
- Feb 13, 2020
- 172
see with the way I plan to go if I fail the person I love will never speak to me again. there is a chance he's not going to any way and if thats the case I will be able to CTB with a lot less hesitation. I can't risk another failed attempt
What makes me so afraid of failing my attempt is that I can't be put in a mental institution.
I already went to the hospital in December for hurting myself and they said if I go back there again they won't hesitate to take me to a psych hospital, and if they do that, I'll lose the bare minimum that's still left in my life.
For me, life scares me, each day passing, time moving on, wen you no control over it and are trapped in pain.
justfloating
Student
- Feb 13, 2020
- 172
I do feel a sense of peace knowing there is a way out and I won't have to suffer forever, but I guess it is survival instinct that makes this shit scary
im in the uk and they have never threatened me with that, I think its mostly to do with them not taking me seriously tho. I've had two overdoses and when im in hospital I feel calm because its not like real life, so when I have my psych eval I can give them the answers they need without lying
