Help I'm scared how it will be to use SN

[cali22]

I want to be away but I'm afraid to ctb

i'm afraid of what will happen if i use sn
i'm afraid of what it's like to be away


My mind can't handle it right now I'm too paranoid right now and my heart hurts when I think about it


Please help me

Thanks for everything

 

[Linda]

I want to be away but I'm afraid to ctb

i'm afraid of what will happen if i use sn
i'm afraid of what it's like to be away


My mind can't handle it right now I'm too paranoid right now and my heart hurts when I think about it


Please help me

Thanks for everything

It's clear that you are not ready to ctb right now. So I suggest that you forget about ctb for the present. It may (or may not) be the right thing for you at some time in the future, but it's not something you should do unless you are sure it's the right thing for you.
I read your introductory post. What do you think are your options for dealing with your present situation and getting into a better situation?

 

[cali22]

It's clear that you are not ready to ctb right now. So I suggest that you forget about ctb for the present. It may (or may not) be the right thing for you at some time in the future, but it's not something you should do unless you are sure it's the right thing for you.
I read your introductory post. What do you think are your options for dealing with your present situation and getting into a better situation?

I'm in therapy but I don't think that helps
I really want to do it at the moment, but somehow I don't want to either

It's clear that you are not ready to ctb right now. So I suggest that you forget about ctb for the present. It may (or may not) be the right thing for you at some time in the future, but it's not something you should do unless you are sure it's the right thing for you.
I read your introductory post. What do you think are your options for dealing with your present situation and getting into a better situation?

 

[Linda]

I'm in therapy but I don't think that helps
I really want to do it at the moment, but somehow I don't want to either

I think you should stick with the therapy for a while longer yet. If it's not helping, then tell your therapist that it's not helping. Otherwise they will assume that it is. They may be able to try a different approach that might work better, or they may be able to find you a different therapist who will work better for you.
If you "want to do it" and "don't want to" at the same time, then, like I said in my first post, you are not ready to ctb. You need to become clearer in your own mind about what you want before you take any actions.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Do you know what makes you suicidal? What triggers it? If you know what the triggers are or your therapist can find out about that you could work together with them on exactly that point and develop coping mechanisms.

 

[cali22]

Do you know what makes you suicidal? What triggers it? If you know what the triggers are or your therapist can find out about that you could work together with them on exactly that point and develop coping mechanisms.

My therapist knows that I "had" suicidal thoughts but now I have them again

I don't want to tell her about it I don't trust her

 

[Linda]

My therapist knows that I "had" suicidal thoughts but now I have them again

I don't want to tell her about it I don't trust her

If you don't trust your therapist you might as well not be in therapy. Why don't you trust her?

 

[cali22]

If you don't trust your therapist you might as well not be in therapy. Why don't you trust her?

It's not her fault, it's mine, I have trust issues with strangers

 

[lizzywizzy09]

It's not her fault, it's mine, I have trust issues with strangers

I don't trust them either. In my experience, mental health workers attribute everything to mental illness and not on the issues, systemic and otherwise, that create poor mental health. Which means treatment tends to be temporarily effective at best. Just my experience though, others might feel differently.