C

Cherrybreeze

Member
Feb 17, 2020
30
I've taken something for pain and a decent dose of Valium. I'm skipping anti-emetics, as I physically cannot throw up so even if I'm very nauseous, it will stay down.

It's not that I want to go - I just want to find peace. I know there is no more peace to be found here. I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had and blame no one else for my failures.

I won't be found until my boyfriend comes home tonight, which is several hours.

In addition to not being able to throw up, I have a chronically severely low hemoglobin level which I can only imagine will hasten things. I wish I could do this without hurting anyone else, but that is an impossibility. I hope they can forgive me. I've opted not to say my goodbyes, as I've unintentionally created a lot of distance from my family members in recent years and believe it'll be easier for them if I maintain that distance.

Thank you to everyone here for the guidance and support you give each other. I hope to see those who make this choice on the other side, if such a thing exists.

I do wish I wasn't alone....but there really isn't any other way. Last cigarette, then I mix my SN cocktails.

It's time.
 
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justfloating

justfloating

Student
Feb 13, 2020
172
I've taken something for pain and a decent dose of Valium. I'm skipping anti-emetics, as I physically cannot throw up so even if I'm very nauseous, it will stay down.

It's not that I want to go - I just want to find peace. I know there is no more peace to be found here. I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had and blame no one else for my failures.

I won't be found until my boyfriend comes home tonight, which is several hours.

In addition to not being able to throw up, I have a chronically severely low hemoglobin level which I can only imagine will hasten things. I wish I could do this without hurting anyone else, but that is an impossibility. I hope they can forgive me. I've opted not to say my goodbyes, as I've unintentionally created a lot of distance from my family members in recent years and believe it'll be easier for them if I maintain that distance.

Thank you to everyone here for the guidance and support you give each other. I hope to see those who make this choice on the other side, if such a thing exists.

I do wish I wasn't alone....but there really isn't any other way. Last cigarette, then I mix my SN cocktails.

It's time.
maybe leave a note somewhere to warn your boyfriend of your body before he sees it. even if you tell him not to look he probably will, but it'll prepare him for the shock.

I hope you do find the peace you are looking for

:hug:
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
I am sending you lots of love and peace. You aren't alone. We are here. Is there anything you want to talk about? Can we do anything for you? :heart:
 
D

Deleted member 14177

not home
Jan 20, 2020
346
Wishing you so much peace
 
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C

Cherrybreeze

Member
Feb 17, 2020
30
I'm not sure there's anything left to say. I thank you all for being with me. I hope those I love will forgive me. I'm just so tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically.

The Valium is calming me down, which helps. I do in a way wish there was another option, but logically and in my heart, I know there is not. This is what's best and I hear the bus coming. It won't be long now.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
Love and peace to you. ❤ So sorry life has come to this for you.
 
Carina

Carina

Angelic
Dec 22, 2019
4,005
There isn't much I can say but I wish you peace. I'm sorry it came to this for you.
 
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Querry1

Querry1

life is unfair, ctb or get away
Aug 16, 2018
180
Wish you best and lots of love for you darling. You've been struggling, but now you can go at peace.
 
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itsbigbraintime

itsbigbraintime

SN Wizard
Feb 14, 2020
75
I am very sorry that life has put you in this situation. I wish you nothing but the best, on this side or the other :heart::heart:
 
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H

Hopeindeath!

Elementalist
Dec 7, 2019
800
I wish you peace.:hug:
 
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T

TheLastGoodbye

Student
Oct 23, 2019
109
I hope things went smoothly and you found the peace you were looking for. RIP
 
LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
I hope everything went ok for you if you went through with it. It's been a while since you were online. :(
 
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