C
Cherrybreeze
Member
- Feb 17, 2020
- 30
I've taken something for pain and a decent dose of Valium. I'm skipping anti-emetics, as I physically cannot throw up so even if I'm very nauseous, it will stay down.
It's not that I want to go - I just want to find peace. I know there is no more peace to be found here. I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had and blame no one else for my failures.
I won't be found until my boyfriend comes home tonight, which is several hours.
In addition to not being able to throw up, I have a chronically severely low hemoglobin level which I can only imagine will hasten things. I wish I could do this without hurting anyone else, but that is an impossibility. I hope they can forgive me. I've opted not to say my goodbyes, as I've unintentionally created a lot of distance from my family members in recent years and believe it'll be easier for them if I maintain that distance.
Thank you to everyone here for the guidance and support you give each other. I hope to see those who make this choice on the other side, if such a thing exists.
I do wish I wasn't alone....but there really isn't any other way. Last cigarette, then I mix my SN cocktails.
It's time.
It's not that I want to go - I just want to find peace. I know there is no more peace to be found here. I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had and blame no one else for my failures.
I won't be found until my boyfriend comes home tonight, which is several hours.
In addition to not being able to throw up, I have a chronically severely low hemoglobin level which I can only imagine will hasten things. I wish I could do this without hurting anyone else, but that is an impossibility. I hope they can forgive me. I've opted not to say my goodbyes, as I've unintentionally created a lot of distance from my family members in recent years and believe it'll be easier for them if I maintain that distance.
Thank you to everyone here for the guidance and support you give each other. I hope to see those who make this choice on the other side, if such a thing exists.
I do wish I wasn't alone....but there really isn't any other way. Last cigarette, then I mix my SN cocktails.
It's time.