Help Im ready but the thing that causes me the most anxiety

[dopaminedeath]

Im ready but the thing that causes me the most anxiety is how my parents will react and the effect on other family too.

I really want them to see it as an inevitability, as euthanasia decided on from a clear head. I worry about them blaming themselves or others when this has nothing to do with anything outside my own perspective. Its a selfish decision and its one that Im happiest with.

I know suicide is generally looked upon as a tragedy and so they may be left wondering what they could have done differently. Like I imagine they may overthink things and struggle to cope maybe.

How do I get past this anxiety? Is it SI masquerading as concern for them? Whatever it is, I don't know how to overcome it in a way that I feel satisfied to leave

All I have is the suicide note/letter to communicate. I can write something and then scrape it and write again. But it never leaves me feeling like I think they will be okay because of these words.

Considering my sibling has potentially forty years left to live after I die, I really don't want them to get confused and think things could be different. This is the way it is and I'm at peace with it, and whether now or looking back in forty years, I hope they accept it as being okay. As even if its considered an early death, it's not wrong to me. It's simply is the end, neither good nor bad.

 

[Not A Fan]

This is something I think about a lot and probably what I struggle with the most.

I wish I could just tell my relatives, and part of me even thinks they might understand where I'm coming from. My family is not religious or traditional, they know about my 'issues' and I don't think they'd be particularly surprised with me wanting to bail out early. I hate the idea of ambushing them with it. Wish we lived in a society that allowed us to be more honest about these things. I think my family is probably more open-minded than most but I still struggle with how could I possibly tell them before hand, without causing some sort of really big problem.

Sorry, not really an answer to your question. But I can relate to the problem.

 

[dopaminedeath]

This is something I think about a lot...

Things would be easier if I could show them a movie or something that conveys my feelings lol

If I could tell them now and wait a long time, long enough that they see it's never going to change. Then maybe it'd be easier for them to accept it when I leave.

There's the argument that suicidal people are stuck in x y z ways - either mental health, physical health, habitual (suicidal) thinking, so on and so forth. And it's reported most cases get better. I just know there's so many (valid, health viewpoints) arguments against suicide that they would feel the burden.