I’m officially one year depressed.

[Mustkeyknow]

Today is my anniversary. I took a selfie last year when the symptoms started, I was feeling like crap. I didn't even know I had the picture and scrolling through my phone there it was. I checked the date and it's been one year. Well, one day give or take but whatever.

I feel so sad. Knowing I only went downhill and didn't accomplish anything. That picture was before the suicides attempts and the psychic ward stay.

I cried today. It's been a while since I did that. I don't want to spent another year like this. I really, really don't. I feel like moving to another country or a different city, I don't know something DRASTIC has to happen.

I cannot go on like this.

 

[Eren]

I am very sorry that you feel that way, it is hard to suffer and it is even harder to believe or know that we will continue to suffer in the future.

I hope you can recover soon, it is hard to be like this, if you need to talk you can send me a PM.

 

[Mitokondrium]

Well, although I am sure being depressed for 1 year feels like shit, but there are people here who spent 10-20-30 years this way. (my first attempt was 13 years ago). So, I would say that you still have not ruined your life and succumbed to depression in the long term. You can get out of this, and although I am sure this had been a shitty year for you, in the long term you can still accomplish hell of a lot of things.
About moving to an other country, I think that is a marvellous idea. I went to Portugal after a really dark period of my life, only for a couple of months, but it was the best decision ever.

 

[Belit667]

I'm officially 20 years depressed, not to mention personality disorders. So fun!

 

[Sinai Silence]

I feel like when it comes to time and depression one day with it feels like an eternity of sadness.

If you get an opportunity to move country or city I'd say go for it. A change of scenery might be what you need. Hugs

 

[Emily_Numb]

Not to take away from your pain but so many here would love to have only been this way for a year. I've been like it for over 20 years. Not that it's a competition of course. I'm really surprised you can pinpoint the day to mark an anniversary. I'm honestly not sure if that's a healthy thing to do. I would say depression creeps up on you rather than arriving on a set day where you wake up and say 'oh wow I'm depressed' * marks date in diary.

Have you been clinically diagnosed with depression? Have you sought any professional help? Have you tried medication? There are many options and not everyone will stay depressed for 20 + years. Sometimes it's purely situational.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It does suck looking back and realizing just how far I've fallen, but I guess another way of looking at it is that you've made it through all this and survived, so perhaps you have the strength to go further.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Hey, just want to say I know that feeling that something HAS to change. And maybe drastically. I keep coming back to moments like that myself. You deserve the change you need.