![abigail](/data/avatars/l/97/97457.jpg?1723377852)
abigail
trying to get better for him ~
- Aug 10, 2024
- 62
Hi friends,
When I think about myself getting on the bus, I don't really feel anything. There have been times in my life where I have been only a handful of minutes away from my SN after days of preparation, or, times like recently where I nearly accidentally got on the bus ~ each one of these times I've felt nothing bar maybe a bit of happiness and relief.
But, whenever I see someone else talking about getting on their own bus or those who have managed to get on it, I can't hold myself back from my emotions. It breaks my heart.
I've been a years-long lurker of here, and it happens everytime.
I cry for maybe 10 - 15 minutes every time someone goes. I'm glad they are finally peace but I feel so sad this was their only option.
Is this normal…? I don't even know what I'm looking for here, advice I suppose.
When I think about myself getting on the bus, I don't really feel anything. There have been times in my life where I have been only a handful of minutes away from my SN after days of preparation, or, times like recently where I nearly accidentally got on the bus ~ each one of these times I've felt nothing bar maybe a bit of happiness and relief.
But, whenever I see someone else talking about getting on their own bus or those who have managed to get on it, I can't hold myself back from my emotions. It breaks my heart.
I've been a years-long lurker of here, and it happens everytime.
I cry for maybe 10 - 15 minutes every time someone goes. I'm glad they are finally peace but I feel so sad this was their only option.
Is this normal…? I don't even know what I'm looking for here, advice I suppose.