It is very liberating to have the option paired with little to no responsibilities. My future is sorta bright and with some effort im sure, i can be successful like many people. But suicide is something that is always on my mind the effect varies on my situation and mood. When i'm at home chilling its there but not super strong. When i feel bad or uncomfortable it is very strong. Soon my SN will arrive soon when the urge is strong I'll just fucking kill myself and just do whatever. I feel that i'll always wanna killmyself even if life is going good and i feel that it will be the way i go out. Just a matter of time. I don't even know how i feel it's just always there that feeling of wanting to killyself
