I'm not supposed to be here

[shekindabadtho…]

this is my first time here, and I knew I needed a community like this right when I've heard about it. To tell you the truth, I've never even tried to find a thing worth living for, I have no hobbies no friends, my family is there but I don't care about them. I used to be a good kid, good at school, I had talents like drawing and singing and all, it seemed like I was headed somewhere in life, but at 7 my mom had cancer at that time and passed away when I was ten, and its only gotten worse because as Ive gotten older i realised that I may have made everything she was going through, worse by just being there, and not being able to help. after she passed I started doing worse in school, i stopped singing, drawing reading, I would just go throgh the motions and barely get through life, and now Im an adult and and it hasn't changed at all. Ive been the kind of person thats easy to ignore, or a liability, basically an npc at this point. I used to hate myself for it, because there was not a single person who knew me that wanted to be around me.i don't care about that now. I'm not a good person by a long shot, but I'm not a bad one because of these things, I'm just someone who doesn't need to be here anymore. there really is no reason to continue like this. I dont think my death will have a negetive or positive affect on my family either way. They might be sad that whatever person they made up in there head that is supposed to be me is dead, and then they'll get over it, because its not me that they're grieving. thank you to everyone thats reading this, Im planning on leaving before december and I really would appreciate the support once I find a good method.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, to me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from this existence, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[shekindabadtho…]

I wish you the best with your plans, to me it's really understandable just wishing to be free from this existence, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

thank you!

 

[Enlighten]

this is my first time here, and I knew I needed a community like this right when I've heard about it. To tell you the truth, I've never even tried to find a thing worth living for, I have no hobbies no friends, my family is there but I don't care about them. I used to be a good kid, good at school, I had talents like drawing and singing and all, it seemed like I was headed somewhere in life, but at 7 my mom had cancer at that time and passed away when I was ten, and its only gotten worse because as Ive gotten older i realised that I may have made everything she was going through, worse by just being there, and not being able to help. after she passed I started doing worse in school, i stopped singing, drawing reading, I would just go throgh the motions and barely get through life, and now Im an adult and and it hasn't changed at all. Ive been the kind of person thats easy to ignore, or a liability, basically an npc at this point. I used to hate myself for it, because there was not a single person who knew me that wanted to be around me.i don't care about that now. I'm not a good person by a long shot, but I'm not a bad one because of these things, I'm just someone who doesn't need to be here anymore. there really is no reason to continue like this. I dont think my death will have a negetive or positive affect on my family either way. They might be sad that whatever person they made up in there head that is supposed to be me is dead, and then they'll get over it, because its not me that they're grieving. thank you to everyone thats reading this, Im planning on leaving before december and I really would appreciate the support once I find a good method.

SHE KINDA BAD THO
All jokes aside, i'm sorry your mom passed away so early in your life. Losing such an important person so early in your life is a misfortune nobody should have to overcome.
The fact that you did is admirable. I prob couldn't have.
I don't think you're an NPC at all. If you're planning on leaving in december, try to rediscover some things this earth has to offer. What's the worst that can happen? You're gonna die anyway.
If you wanna talk in the meantime, i'd love to talk with you