I’m not ready to die. I want to live a normal life more than anything

[Ivan181]

Im extremely upset right now. I just had a good night had a really good conversation with someone I'm close to and it's now making me feel absolutely miserable knowing I need to ctb in the next week. I'm genuinely devastated that I have to end my life at the age of 21. Suicide is unfortunately my only option due to my physical health. My chronic pain is completely unbearable and it's getting worse each week as my cervical spine slowly collapses. I can't stand to be alive for more than a week. I want to live a normal life like everyone else I don't understand why I have to be tortured in life by my spine. It's brutal that I have to ctb instead of living the long life I deserve there nothing I can do though I'm fucked the only thing I can do is ctb. At least when im not existing anymore I wouldn't be able to feel this devastation anymore. So unfair my body is worst enemy. So unfair I'm out of options so unfair that I'm being stripped out of long happy life.

 

[Darkover]

when bringing someone alive it is a roll of the dice or gambling with someone's life with a extremely inadequate machine for survival

 

[MetroPunk]

You have degenerative disks? What exactly is wrong with your spine:?

 

[brokeandbroken]

Im extremely upset right now. I just had a good night had a really good conversation with someone I'm close to and it's now making me feel absolutely miserable knowing I need to ctb in the next week. I'm genuinely devastated that I have to end my life at the age of 21. Suicide is unfortunately my only option due to my physical health. My chronic pain is completely unbearable and it's getting worse each week as my cervical spine slowly collapses. I can't stand to be alive for more than a week. I want to live a normal life like everyone else I don't understand why I have to be tortured in life by my spine. It's brutal that I have to ctb instead of living the long life I deserve there nothing I can do though I'm fucked the only thing I can do is ctb. At least when im not existing anymore I wouldn't be able to feel this devastation anymore. So unfair my body is worst enemy. So unfair I'm out of options so unfair that I'm being stripped out of long happy life.

My situation isn't the same in any regard. But there's definitely some amount of parallel. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I wish something could be done to fix it.

 

[Ivan181]

You have degenerative disks? What exactly is wrong with your spine:?

Damaged ligaments. Every treatment option has failed and I'm not eligible for surgery

My situation isn't the same in any regard. But there's definitely some amount of parallel. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I wish something could be done to fix it.

Yeah me too if there was any shred of goo though I wouldn't be doing this

My situation isn't the same in any regard. But there's definitely some amount of parallel. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I wish something could be done to fix it.

Hope*

 

[set0553]

Im extremely upset right now. I just had a good night had a really good conversation with someone I'm close to and it's now making me feel absolutely miserable knowing I need to ctb in the next week. I'm genuinely devastated that I have to end my life at the age of 21. Suicide is unfortunately my only option due to my physical health. My chronic pain is completely unbearable and it's getting worse each week as my cervical spine slowly collapses. I can't stand to be alive for more than a week. I want to live a normal life like everyone else I don't understand why I have to be tortured in life by my spine. It's brutal that I have to ctb instead of living the long life I deserve there nothing I can do though I'm fucked the only thing I can do is ctb. At least when im not existing anymore I wouldn't be able to feel this devastation anymore. So unfair my body is worst enemy. So unfair I'm out of options so unfair that I'm being stripped out of long happy life.

Maybe pain management? A few years ago I had very severe pain from a knee injury, and was unable to walk for a few months. I found a plant called Kratom that worked miracles for the pain, on top of helping with my depression also. I work a job now that I gotta walk across a parking lot 40 hrs a week, and im 54! just my knee gets a little achey every now and then, but wow, the difference is miraculous.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Damaged ligaments. Every treatment option has failed and I'm not eligible for surgery

Yeah me too if there was any shred of goo though I wouldn't be doing this

Hope*

Yeah i feel that.

 

[MetroPunk]

Maybe pain management? A few years ago I had very severe pain from a knee injury, and was unable to walk for a few months. I found a plant called Kratom that worked miracles for the pain, on top of helping with my depression also. I work a job now that I gotta walk across a parking lot 40 hrs a week, and im 54! just my knee gets a little achey every now and then, but wow, the difference is miraculous.

I'm on Suboxone now to get off of kratom. Just saying you can get physically addicted to it, gotta be careful with kratom. I took it for ten years. It absolutely does help with pain and depression though. Sleep as well.

 

[SafferGuy]

I'm so sorry about your pain :(

I hope you find relief

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this extreme suffering in existing, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[isa_nqra1]

if only you could switch places with me. i have a perfectly fine and healthy body and the same age as you and sadly enough that'll go to waste soon enough. the reason why im gonna cbt all the shit ive been through and im losing it all. your situation sucks and it really painful too see this. life is too cruel