I'm not giving up.

[leavingsoon99]

After telling a friend about my plans, they immediately told me I was "giving up." That infuriated me to no end. I'm NOT giving up. I have nothing left to give. I gave life everything I had. I don't owe it anything else. I fought and won battles that would absolutely crush most pro-lifers. I've tried to move on in spite of the tremendous trauma I carry around. Unresolved trauma that most pro-lifers would go into debt into the $100,000 range just to try to pilled up to deal with life that way. I'm no coward. I'm not giving up, as if life is some kind of contest. After enduring a life of absolute misery and humiliation... I'm tired. I'm fucking tired.

I'm tired of people having so much advice and perspective on a life they know nothing about. I'm sick of people saying that where I'm at is a "dark place." It's not. I'm clear on what I need to do. I'm in a very well lit and clear place in my life. I'm tired of a human trying to impose penalties on what will happen to me if I ctb. They don't know just like I don't know. If there are penalties, so be it. Death is inevitable. A penalty for doing something humans have been doing for thousands of years is only testament of a very stupid and evil creator. I just want out of this. I wake up every morning asking myself, "what's the motivation?" Why am I about to get up and do what I'm about to go do? The answer is just biding time. I'm ready to pull the trigger. For me, this life holds nothing but suffering and eventual death. Sex, temporary dopamine highs, and fighting for some semblance of happiness is not what I call life. That's living hell. Having more money in it won't change the fact that I'm in hell.

If I have nothing left to give, then it's not giving up.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate it when people say suicide is "giving up", it doesn't make sense to me, as it isn't like there is any reward or anything to be gained from existing. All that existing is, is just meaningless and pointless suffering until we die anyway, we are just waiting around to die. In my case I'd see it as preferable to leave on my own terms to prevent all future suffering and harms in an existence that was just unnecessary.

I don't understand the people who assume that there is some objective value to existing for absolutely everyone. I also cannot stand those pro-life people who are incapable of minding their own business, no matter what suicide should always be accepted as a valid choice, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[Foreverix]

What's wrong with giving up?

 

[Ashu]

What's wrong with giving up?

Exactly.

 

[tiger b]

It's your life, you've lived it, you've tried various things.

You get to frame it.

There is no Universal Ministry for Arbitration of Who Is Giving Up. Or even, what you're giving up.

Full respect.

 

[sanction]

Every single human will die in the end no matter what. No difference than hopping on a bus or plane that is guaranteed to crash. Then when one of the passengers finally wake up, and decide it might actually make more sense to just put their death in their own hands instead, since even if they continued to stay, they will just die horribly from that unavoidable crash anyways

What's worst is, leading up to that unavoidable crash, also comes with DECADES of being a wage slave, pay endless bills, health problems, dealing with this messy world...... and finally after all this trouble, just to die in the end either way. So if just CTB earlier, at least can save potentially decades of pointless headache

Then instead of being labelled as "awake", it is labelled as "weak". Which ultimately further drives us crazy, and now we even want to CTB more, lol. None of us asked to be born, but once we're here, we're also not allowed to leave, even if its shitty or pointless.

If there was a hell, this is definitely it. Welcome to hell

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's not giving up. It's resigning/forfeiting.

Life is often compared to a game of cards where you are "dealt" a certain hand and are expected to play it. Well, every good player knows when to keep on playing and when to fold. The people with the royal flushes certainly are fond of saying that.

 

[R_N]

People also act like they can play this game called life forever and on their own terms. Like their will means anything lol.

Yeah "fuck around and find out" but other people shouldn't be forced to.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

What's wrong with giving up?

I suppose humans favor prevailing through hardships which is why humans survived for long as they have but giving up means never trying having given yourself a chance to make an effort I guess. It's not giving up though, it's forfeit, it's one of my reasons I want to ctb. I guess it's seen as giving up because you quit the game early instead of the game deciding its done with you.

I wish to no longer be inconvenienced by life itself and all of its countless ways one could suffer from it.

So if just CTB earlier, at least can save potentially decades of pointless headache

Definitely part of my thought process as well.

 

[voyager]

Poor Sun Tzu, clearly he was in a dark place too...