I’m not allowed to feel suicidal anymore?

[Stroopwafel.]

I really wonder if anyone has ever been in some similar situation? Because I feel like I'm in a BIZARRE situation at the moment and I really don't know how to react to this.

I've been suicidal for many years now, things are getting worse and worse and there's no mental health care for me in this country/situation. I've had a support worker for a while now and I really liked her. She has helped me a lot, but she can not help me recover because I need mental health care for that. All this time she I've been suicidal, and we have been very open about that to each other.

But since a few weeks we're in the bizarre situation where I'm not allowed to be suicidal anymore? They literally want me to stop being suicidal, and if I'm not they are gonna stop helping me and leave me.

I'm honestly SO confused by this whole situation, they literally want me to become someone else, someone I'm not, they want me to pretend I feel better than I really do. And why? I have no clue.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? I have no idea what to do tbh. I'm feeling so many different things at this moment. I'm confused, angry, really say, disappointment. It's not the first time people punish ME for not feeling better even though the system doesn't allow me any help. But this feels kinda extreme? Especially because she was ok with it for a long time and now it's like I'm talking to a complete different person???

 

[Oyoy]

One time some guy started screaming in the street that he was pissed cus you only get help if your in crisis. People get rewarded for breakdowns.

 

[Stroopwafel.]

Help in crisis? Not where I live. I'm a 'crisis' for years now, considered to the mental health care, but they don't help me at all.

I have autism and they literally say 'they can't help people with autism in crisis'

 

[Oyoy]

Help in crisis? Not where I live. I'm a 'crisis' for years now, considered to the mental health care, but they don't help me at all
What Continent?

 

[Stroopwafel.]

I'm from the Netherlands.

 

[Oyoy]

I'm from the Netherlands.

I am in USA. I would love to be there. I admire you for trying to get help. I am not into driving to get from one crappy place to another sterile institution.

 

[Carrotcake]

It really is a shitty situation. But most institutions are afraid to handle "risky" (aka suicidal) people. They are deemed "too complicated" for their care.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I am guessing that your support worker has a strict workplace. She is (and this is terrible!) under pressure from her supervisors to show "progress" with the people in her care, or else resources will be directed elsewhere. She knows that it is cruel and heartless, but she isn't allowed to say, "My bosses are on my a** to show results, or I will either lose you as a client and/or lose my job"
When people in crisis and their support workers are treated like manufacturing components on an assembly line, the blame doesn't fall with you. The blame is much higher up.
My heart aches for you—trapped in a an insane system.

 

[Oyoy]

It really is a shitty situation. But most institutions are afraid to handle "risky" (aka suicidal) people. They are deemed "too complicated" for their care.
[/QUOTEThat's so good to know. I guess. It seems like if you don't suceed people think you didn't really want to check out

 

[LMLN]

Well and sadly I think that people mistakenly think being suicidal is a choice we have made. For me it's not a choice. It's just what I am feeling. It's a reaction to horrible pain that is too much to handle.
I'm sorry they are treating you like this. Peace and live to you.❤

 

[SettOne1994]

One time some guy started screaming in the street that he was pissed cus you only get help if your in crisis. People get rewarded for breakdowns.

rewarded? you end up in mental hospital for being a danger to others? and this comes from police not nurses they take you and bring you in a mental hospital without your will

 

[Oyoy]

rewarded? you end up in mental hospital for being a danger to others? and this comes from police not nurses they take you and bring you in a mental hospital without your will

I agree but I think the guy was feeling invisible which made him cray cray

I agree but I think the guy was feeling invisible which made him cray cray

I just got reminded of his intensity and

rewarded? you end up in mental hospital for being a danger to others? and this comes from police not nurses they take you and bring you in a mental hospital without your will

It was in intense moment that drove him nuts. Not rewarded as a good experience but attention to not feel invisable

 

[Cevapcici]

Honestly this whole situation sounds kinda fucked up ,childish and...yes, bizarre to say the least. I feel your " support worker " (I guess it's some kind of social worker? ) is belitteling you.
"Especially because she was ok with it for a long time and now it's like I'm talking to a complete different person???" i can only guess she might have reported the whole situation to her hierarchy and they might have grounded her about not following some guidelines and now she has to step back..?
Or - as it sometimes happens with people, she is less "mentally strong" than she thought and this topic triggers distress and anguish about her own mortality , and she simply doesn't want to deal with it anymore.

Either way , I'm sorry you're in this situation... Sending you hugs

 

[Ghost2211]

It's a sad reality that long term suicidal cases are often seen as hopeless. they never want to say it, but they treat people that way.

 

[Quarky00]

One time some guy started screaming in the street that he was pissed cus you only get help if your in crisis. People get rewarded for breakdowns.

So true. I've been asking for help for years. Got it today after threat to burn the building, lol (nothing serious just acting up).

I've been reading some government reports (experts) that said the same, help is received only when a person reaches the lowest possible point, most times to some inhumane or very dangerous situation, and even then it's temporary and insufficient .

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@Stroopwafel1, replying to your question in the thread title, I think you're allowed to feel suicidal, but with this person you are no longer allowed to talk about or display evidence to her that you feel it. The rules of the relationship have unfortunately changed if you wish to retain it.

I'm sorry for your confusion and pain. They are understandable. You cannot know why the rules changed, only that they have. Not knowing why sucks.

 

[Quarky00]

@Stroopwafel1 , public view is that suicide is the problem and it should be treated , not much more . A person is a broken car that needs to be fixed . There's no point for the car to stay in the garage (get treatment) if it's still broken (suicidal) . It's not always true and a rather crude generalization , but a pretty good metaphor . It's called the "biomedical" or "biomechanical" view of human mind /soul. We need to work (hack) around the system .

Any support can appear many times very capricious , because it is , the professionals are not the best , mental healthcare is not scrutinized , and you are measured by certain 'success rate' (recovery) .

IT IS AN HORRIBLE ATTITUDE & PAINFUL

It can crush a person. You should be allowed to feel the exact way you feel

 

[Absurdity]

I'm from the Netherlands.

Thought the situation there (regarding mental health) was as good as here in Germany (nothing big to complain about), surprises me.

Just recently I also read that the Netherlands are one of the few countries which grant euthanasia to mental health patients (although very few get accepted, around 10%? -- but still). That's why I thought they probably care for their MH patients.

So is it because your case is deemed to be too complex that you don't get adequate help?

 

[S1mpleme]

Did you ask them why they act like that? Probably want to change tactics by manipulating you, you just tired of you. We can't feel each other's feelings that's why many people don't care.

 

[seafarer]

I got the classic you don't seem that bothered by the idea of suicide so I don't think you are suicidal when you say you are...that was from my Asperger's counselor/ specialist then he said I don't think we she see you anymore as we are not making progress. Iean wtf. I said ok give me a snide and I'll slit my wrists in front of you right now!

That didn't go down well lol

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I really wonder if anyone has ever been in some similar situation? Because I feel like I'm in a BIZARRE situation at the moment and I really don't know how to react to this.

I've been suicidal for many years now, things are getting worse and worse and there's no mental health care for me in this country/situation. I've had a support worker for a while now and I really liked her. She has helped me a lot, but she can not help me recover because I need mental health care for that. All this time she I've been suicidal, and we have been very open about that to each other.

But since a few weeks we're in the bizarre situation where I'm not allowed to be suicidal anymore? They literally want me to stop being suicidal, and if I'm not they are gonna stop helping me and leave me.

I'm honestly SO confused by this whole situation, they literally want me to become someone else, someone I'm not, they want me to pretend I feel better than I really do. And why? I have no clue.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? I have no idea what to do tbh. I'm feeling so many different things at this moment. I'm confused, angry, really say, disappointment. It's not the first time people punish ME for not feeling better even though the system doesn't allow me any help. But this feels kinda extreme? Especially because she was ok with it for a long time and now it's like I'm talking to a complete different person???

They tend to want to discharge you if you don't get better fast enough. She's probably fine with you but her bosses may have told her if you aren't improving to their plan then they will stop treating you.
I'm not saying this IS what's happening, merely suggesting a possibility based on what I've encountered myself.
If that'd is the case it's a crazy attitude to abandon a patient because they aren't getting better.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and yes, sadly, there is not much (real) help out there in the world despite what others keep advocating and screeching about "opening up", "getting help", "talk to someone", etc. I don't know much of what to say except that I hope you are able to find peace in your life, whatever you choose to do.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and yes, sadly, there is not much (real) help out there in the world despite what others keep advocating and screeching about "opening up", "getting help", "talk to someone", etc. I don't know much of what to say except that I hope you are able to find peace in your life, whatever you choose to do.

Yes, there's a lot of advocating to reach out etc. but when you do, you still often get the same prejudice, the same discrimination. I think they feel that once you've 'reached out' the problem will automatically go away so no further input is required, they have done their bit and can have a congratulatory cup of tea.
I'm sure its not all like that, but there I've definitely encountered that tenancy. And you must remember, being diagnosed with any mental health issue, automatically renders you unreliable in the eyes of many. There's a reason why the 'stiff upper lip' attitude used to be prevalent. People knew they would be seen as weak and suffer discrimination. This attitude hasn't gone away, people just say it has.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

@Stroopwafel1 , public view is that suicide is the problem and it should be treated , not much more . A person is a broken car that needs to be fixed . There's no point for the car to stay in the garage (get treatment) if it's still broken (suicidal) . It's not always true and a rather crude generalization , but a pretty good metaphor . It's called the "biomedical" or "biomechanical" view of human mind /soul. We need to work (hack) around the system .

Any support can appear many times very capricious , because it is , the professionals are not the best , mental healthcare is not scrutinized , and you are measured by certain 'success rate' (recovery) .

IT IS AN HORRIBLE ATTITUDE & PAINFUL

It can crush a person. You should be allowed to feel the exact way you feel

Well stated, @Quarky00.

 

[Doodeliedone]

I really wonder if anyone has ever been in some similar situation? Because I feel like I'm in a BIZARRE situation at the moment and I really don't know how to react to this.

I've been suicidal for many years now, things are getting worse and worse and there's no mental health care for me in this country/situation. I've had a support worker for a while now and I really liked her. She has helped me a lot, but she can not help me recover because I need mental health care for that. All this time she I've been suicidal, and we have been very open about that to each other.

But since a few weeks we're in the bizarre situation where I'm not allowed to be suicidal anymore? They literally want me to stop being suicidal, and if I'm not they are gonna stop helping me and leave me.

I'm honestly SO confused by this whole situation, they literally want me to become someone else, someone I'm not, they want me to pretend I feel better than I really do. And why? I have no clue.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? I have no idea what to do tbh. I'm feeling so many different things at this moment. I'm confused, angry, really say, disappointment. It's not the first time people punish ME for not feeling better even though the system doesn't allow me any help. But this feels kinda extreme? Especially because she was ok with it for a long time and now it's like I'm talking to a complete different person???

Hey, Im in the same situation also from the Netherlands 28 yo and been suicidal since I was 12 yo. My doctor told me many years ago if you ever try anything we and no one will help you anymore. I know since then I have visit him a few times when my depression got bad again and I have threatened that he shouldn't think that I don't know how to find out the best way to end my years of pain. Yesterday a woman who helpes my son called my doctor to ask if they can please call the crisisteam because of the sake of my children because she has to guarantee they and I will be safe (she was very understanding and told me she was proud that I got the guts to tell her and thanked me for being open and honest and she said you just need to be heard for once!). He (my doctor) was very rude and told her the first 3 times that it wouldn't help because they probs wouldn't even bother to come. But they did. She also called today to check in with me and said she also was a bit shocked by the way he reacted. Maybe if you want to talk, you can send me a pm. Someone has to help us you know! We pay a lot of money every month for the freaking healthcare but all they do is just tell to take medicines like we are robots. Chrisis team even asked well, if you are suicidal why don't you just go.. you can if you want to but I was to tired to ask like well who will help to do it in peace without pain?! Weird world we are living in. Anyways hope you will find what you need/looking for