imfreezing
Member
- Sep 17, 2022
- 6
As much as I don't like to admit it, I deeply crave love and attention, it makes me feel embarrased and pathethic but I do.
I've been a lonely person my entire life, I never had a close friend, let alone a bf/gf. I'm 19yo and never had my first kiss, I don't even receive hugs, and when I do receive some affection from my family I cringe, because I just don't know how to act, I'm not used to it.
I used to have a close friend from another country but I ended up blocking him, it's contradictory but I wanted to isolate myself. So now I don't talk to anybody except for my parents.
I wish so bad I had someone to spend time with, just to watch a movie or play something, to love someone and be loved, to do something as simple as to cuddle with someone but I'm unlikable, I'm ugly, I'm boring, and my social skills suck.
I remember having a breakdown when I was 14yo, I had to attend to an event from school, and I was lonely, I didn't had anyone to talk to, I felt so awkward there not knowing what to do and seeing all the people laughing and spending time with their friends before the event started made me feel so bad that I ended up returning home before I could attend it, I cried for so long.
This year at college I had to attend a photography exhibition, one of my classmates work was about she and her friends, how she'd find comfort and support in them when she was having a bad time, and it made me feel so bad, realizing I've never had that and never will.
Why does it has to be this way? My entire life has been like this, it's like I was born to be alone. I wish I was normal but at this point I'll just die alone.
I've been a lonely person my entire life, I never had a close friend, let alone a bf/gf. I'm 19yo and never had my first kiss, I don't even receive hugs, and when I do receive some affection from my family I cringe, because I just don't know how to act, I'm not used to it.
I used to have a close friend from another country but I ended up blocking him, it's contradictory but I wanted to isolate myself. So now I don't talk to anybody except for my parents.
I wish so bad I had someone to spend time with, just to watch a movie or play something, to love someone and be loved, to do something as simple as to cuddle with someone but I'm unlikable, I'm ugly, I'm boring, and my social skills suck.
I remember having a breakdown when I was 14yo, I had to attend to an event from school, and I was lonely, I didn't had anyone to talk to, I felt so awkward there not knowing what to do and seeing all the people laughing and spending time with their friends before the event started made me feel so bad that I ended up returning home before I could attend it, I cried for so long.
This year at college I had to attend a photography exhibition, one of my classmates work was about she and her friends, how she'd find comfort and support in them when she was having a bad time, and it made me feel so bad, realizing I've never had that and never will.
Why does it has to be this way? My entire life has been like this, it's like I was born to be alone. I wish I was normal but at this point I'll just die alone.