i’m just so scared

[mittymittens]

in general when my friends list goes down on discord even just by one i get super paranoid and always check to find out who it was

today i did the same cause i noticed and i saw my ex best friend (person A) sister unadded me
even tho she and i weren't close and were just aquatinted bcs her sibling was close to me

i know it could've been that she just cleared out her friends list i just feel sad about it because i also feel anxious that my other ex best friend (person B), who SA'ed me and only select people know about this such as person A much later on but he is still willingly associating with person

short context of person a is me and him were really close, he was the only one who brought me joy to the trio and i was in love with him, i cut him off impulsively bcs i was too sad to think straight, 2 months later which i know might've been too quick, i tried reaching out to him we talked and due to my anxiety talking to him it ended up being a mess and i just warned him ab person b, he confirms it was SA and then tells me 2 days later he didn't want to continue the convo which was probably was because we weren't ready

it just really scares me because i'm scared of this information getting out there because i doubt she really knows she technically SA'ed me and because of my silence and stuff :( and i wouldn't put it too much on her for saying i'm lying unless i had a one on one onto why i believe she SA'ed me which i'm not really too open on doing because just the mere thought of her triggers me alot


i was really close w someone during this summer who i think is either dating her currently or at least very close w person b, i've told him that she SA'ed me and unfortunately he still associated with her willingly and when my friend confronted him about it he wasn't willing to cut her off , but he knows now that his association with her makes me sad and understood why i cut him off


i'm just sad i dunno why maybe it's the fact it was just person A's sister, and i'm just hella hella anxious that
1). person b is still shit talking me to people and mutuals over a situation that has no full context to her and without that context i seem more questionable
2). my old friend from over the summer told her ab what i told him—she calls it a lie and telling others it's a lie

i know it's doubtful person a would say anything unless someone said it first and i don't really trust my old friend from the summer because he told me of what person b was telling him

or it can just be as simple as person a's sister clearing out her friends list/didn't see a reason keeping me added as i'm no longer friends with her sibling

i'm just really really scared because i thought person a was missing me bcs he looked at me for prolonged periods of times in the halls last week which weren't bad looks and if person b is talking smack ab me to everyone then i'm scared that it would ruin that possibljty of me and person a making up

i'm also scared that if when me and person a make up i'll be close to him again and then i'll go to his house and his sister would be there i don't know i'm just really really scared

i don't really know why i'm writing this post i just wanted to type something out of sadness hoping maybe someone would listen n maybe give input somehow :,)

 

[nivis...]

in general when my friends list goes down on discord even just by one i get super paranoid and always check to find out who it was

today i did the same cause i noticed and i saw my ex best friend (person A) sister unadded me
even tho she and i weren't close and were just aquatinted bcs her sibling was close to me

i know it could've been that she just cleared out her friends list i just feel sad about it because i also feel anxious that my other ex best friend (person B), who SA'ed me and only select people know about this such as person A much later on but he is still willingly associating with person

short context of person a is me and him were really close, he was the only one who brought me joy to the trio and i was in love with him, i cut him off impulsively bcs i was too sad to think straight, 2 months later which i know might've been too quick, i tried reaching out to him we talked and due to my anxiety talking to him it ended up being a mess and i just warned him ab person b, he confirms it was SA and then tells me 2 days later he didn't want to continue the convo which was probably was because we weren't ready

it just really scares me because i'm scared of this information getting out there because i doubt she really knows she technically SA'ed me and because of my silence and stuff :( and i wouldn't put it too much on her for saying i'm lying unless i had a one on one onto why i believe she SA'ed me which i'm not really too open on doing because just the mere thought of her triggers me alot


i was really close w someone during this summer who i think is either dating her currently or at least very close w person b, i've told him that she SA'ed me and unfortunately he still associated with her willingly and when my friend confronted him about it he wasn't willing to cut her off , but he knows now that his association with her makes me sad and understood why i cut him off


i'm just sad i dunno why maybe it's the fact it was just person A's sister, and i'm just hella hella anxious that
1). person b is still shit talking me to people and mutuals over a situation that has no full context to her and without that context i seem more questionable
2). my old friend from over the summer told her ab what i told him—she calls it a lie and telling others it's a lie

i know it's doubtful person a would say anything unless someone said it first and i don't really trust my old friend from the summer because he told me of what person b was telling him

or it can just be as simple as person a's sister clearing out her friends list/didn't see a reason keeping me added as i'm no longer friends with her sibling

i'm just really really scared because i thought person a was missing me bcs he looked at me for prolonged periods of times in the halls last week which weren't bad looks and if person b is talking smack ab me to everyone then i'm scared that it would ruin that possibljty of me and person a making up

i'm also scared that if when me and person a make up i'll be close to him again and then i'll go to his house and his sister would be there i don't know i'm just really really scared

i don't really know why i'm writing this post i just wanted to type something out of sadness hoping maybe someone would listen n maybe give input somehow :,)

pat pat, I know the feeling, I actually lost one of my best friends today. it sucks really bad. even though sometimes it might be your fault for having a bad mood or anything a good friend should never leave you.
would you maybe want to be friends with me? I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. :)

 

[mittymittens]

pat pat, I know the feeling, I actually lost one of my best friends today. it sucks really bad. even though sometimes it might be your fault for having a bad mood or anything a good friend should never leave you.
would you maybe want to be friends with me? I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. :)

yeah sure! i'll message u :)

 

[Enlighten]

in general when my friends list goes down on discord even just by one i get super paranoid and always check to find out who it was

today i did the same cause i noticed and i saw my ex best friend (person A) sister unadded me
even tho she and i weren't close and were just aquatinted bcs her sibling was close to me

i know it could've been that she just cleared out her friends list i just feel sad about it because i also feel anxious that my other ex best friend (person B), who SA'ed me and only select people know about this such as person A much later on but he is still willingly associating with person

short context of person a is me and him were really close, he was the only one who brought me joy to the trio and i was in love with him, i cut him off impulsively bcs i was too sad to think straight, 2 months later which i know might've been too quick, i tried reaching out to him we talked and due to my anxiety talking to him it ended up being a mess and i just warned him ab person b, he confirms it was SA and then tells me 2 days later he didn't want to continue the convo which was probably was because we weren't ready

it just really scares me because i'm scared of this information getting out there because i doubt she really knows she technically SA'ed me and because of my silence and stuff :( and i wouldn't put it too much on her for saying i'm lying unless i had a one on one onto why i believe she SA'ed me which i'm not really too open on doing because just the mere thought of her triggers me alot


i was really close w someone during this summer who i think is either dating her currently or at least very close w person b, i've told him that she SA'ed me and unfortunately he still associated with her willingly and when my friend confronted him about it he wasn't willing to cut her off , but he knows now that his association with her makes me sad and understood why i cut him off


i'm just sad i dunno why maybe it's the fact it was just person A's sister, and i'm just hella hella anxious that
1). person b is still shit talking me to people and mutuals over a situation that has no full context to her and without that context i seem more questionable
2). my old friend from over the summer told her ab what i told him—she calls it a lie and telling others it's a lie

i know it's doubtful person a would say anything unless someone said it first and i don't really trust my old friend from the summer because he told me of what person b was telling him

or it can just be as simple as person a's sister clearing out her friends list/didn't see a reason keeping me added as i'm no longer friends with her sibling

i'm just really really scared because i thought person a was missing me bcs he looked at me for prolonged periods of times in the halls last week which weren't bad looks and if person b is talking smack ab me to everyone then i'm scared that it would ruin that possibljty of me and person a making up

i'm also scared that if when me and person a make up i'll be close to him again and then i'll go to his house and his sister would be there i don't know i'm just really really scared

i don't really know why i'm writing this post i just wanted to type something out of sadness hoping maybe someone would listen n maybe give input somehow :,)

I'm sorry you had to experience SA. The situation sounds quite complicated and i have no involvement in it, so it is quite hard to pass judgment. It really sucks that people you like still associate with someone that SA'd you, really shows no respect. It's hard enough that you had to go through that, but then not be believed makes it all the more disgusting.
You seem like a nice soul. I'd like to be friends with you aswell if you want.

 

[mittymittens]

I'm sorry you had to experience SA. The situation sounds quite complicated and i have no involvement in it, so it is quite hard to pass judgment. It really sucks that people you like still associate with someone that SA'd you, really shows no respect. It's hard enough that you had to go through that, but then not be believed makes it all the more disgusting.
You seem like a nice soul. I'd like to be friends with you aswell if you want.

messaged u :)