Life can be that way, there's no denying that and I'm very sorry to hear what you're dealing with. You can't expect people to just be robots and "push" through everything if there's very little motivation left for them. Some people say otherwise in their best attempt to console others which comes from good intentions. But the way you feel is completely valid. The thing about finding purpose / hope / a reason to live is you may find it when you least expect it. Sometimes you find what you were looking for, sometimes you realize maybe you were looking for the wrong things or even sometimes you realize you already had what you needed. It can be in the shape of a friendship, supporting a loved one or the hope of building the future you want. But it can be really tough until then and finding the right person to talk to can be really difficult. I don't want to act like I've got this all figured out myself, I don't know what you're going through and I'm not trying to offer "solutions" but the best advice I can come up with is try to only focus on today or even right now. The weight of what the future holds can be unbearable for anybody and it's easier said than done to just "not worry about it" but one of the better ways to make it more bearable for me was to divide my day into little tasks or segments and only think about the ones that are relevant right now. I hope you find what you're looking for and if you want to have a chat with somebody I think you might be on the right website.