jbear824
F*ck humanity. Let's end this.
- Jul 4, 2023
- 409
I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I'm usually not this vocal about my shit.ni try to keep inside where it can hopefully drive me towards the suicide I need to get the fuck outta here.
But idk, I feel like I can just release it here and not have to worry. But I still apologize. I don't want to be a spammer or anything.
What this post is actually about however is how a piece of worthless shit like me has the audacity to try and pull someone who actually has value and worth.
And how my brain has been paralyzed by this decision to try and form some kind of relationship with this 23 yrd old,adorable as fuck, Gen z guy who communicates in a way that is honestly baffling. And I feel like he may as well be talking to a zombie. With my decrepit 33 yr old ass over here looking up gen z slang, and articles about how this generation dates. and omg I have never felt like a bigger loser in my whole life than I have since this guy started to talking to me.
And I'm just...every time I try to think about this rationally, my brain...glitches and just doesn't process anything. I feel like I have completely lost control of myself. I'm scared. I want this, but it terrifies me. And I just... Can't. And I feel terrible that this guy has no idea that even how much happier I have felt since we started talking, I still really want to fucking die. And that most likely will not go away even if he becomes more significant in my life and.
Just fucking kill me please. PLEASE.
But idk, I feel like I can just release it here and not have to worry. But I still apologize. I don't want to be a spammer or anything.
What this post is actually about however is how a piece of worthless shit like me has the audacity to try and pull someone who actually has value and worth.
And how my brain has been paralyzed by this decision to try and form some kind of relationship with this 23 yrd old,
And I'm just...every time I try to think about this rationally, my brain...glitches and just doesn't process anything. I feel like I have completely lost control of myself. I'm scared. I want this, but it terrifies me. And I just... Can't. And I feel terrible that this guy has no idea that even how much happier I have felt since we started talking, I still really want to fucking die. And that most likely will not go away even if he becomes more significant in my life and.
Just fucking kill me please. PLEASE.
