Im haunted by flashback memories of abuse but also good times.

[Rational man]

Its strange how the mind can play this record over and over but ive recently started having very vivid memories of childhood abuse but also the days when i was in love with a very special person. I know that nothing can change but im curious as to why its happening now. Ive been ill for three Years and im wondering if anyone has this too.?!

 

[escape_from_hell]

I have nearly constant floods of memories.
Whether good or bad, they almost always torment me and make me sad. When good, it is usually about my girlfriend of seven years, a relationship I ruined. Every time there is a 'happy' memory it is a horrendous torturous reminder of what scum I am that destroyed it.
There are also many dark memories from dark times, like a war deployment some decades ago. Those seem more distant and anesthetized.

I guess I am more accepting of the things that were out of my control. Whereas anything that I could have done differently beats the hell out of me non-stop.

The memories visit me more in isolation. Which is where I've spent the best part of my time since the whole COVID adventure began. Soon about half a decade of isolation.

If you are young, have social skills, and zest for life please try and maintain healthy relationships. New positive experiences can help you put traumas forced upon you behind. But be wary, if you make any mistakes, it may haunt you more deeply down the road.

 

[Rational man]

TThan

I have nearly constant floods of memories.
Whether good or bad, they almost always torment me and make me sad. When good, it is usually about my girlfriend of seven years, a relationship I ruined. Every time there is a 'happy' memory it is a horrendous torturous reminder of what scum I am that destroyed it.
There are also many dark memories from dark times, like a war deployment some decades ago. Those seem more distant and anesthetized.

I guess I am more accepting of the things that were out of my control. Whereas anything that I could have done differently beats the hell out of me non-stop.

The memories visit me more in isolation. Which is where I've spent the best part of my time since the whole COVID adventure began. Soon about half a decade of isolation.

If you are young, have social skills, and zest for life please try and maintain healthy relationships. New positive experiences can help you put traumas forced upon you behind. But be wary, if you make any mistakes, it may haunt you more deeply down the road.

Thanks for your feedback.