Venting im gonna leave without accomplishing anything.

[wastingtime]

i always dreamed about living in amsterdam. i know thats never going to happen. i doubt it would happen if i lived anyway
i'm never going to look the way i want, be as skinny as i want
i won't travel and see the places ive wanted to see, but again thats just something that couldnt have happened whether i was alive or not
hell, i wont even see my graduation.
this life was just unfortunate for me. but thats fine. none of it really matters in the end.
the entire reason im doing this is because everything ive wanted in my life had been unachievable anyway. i always ended up with the middle-ground. i cant complain

if it werent for my mental and chronic illnesses and my family situations i like to think i wouldve had a decent life. objectively everything looked good for me, i was going to become a dentist and move to the UK. but its hard work that would only get harder as i go.. im not a fighter unfortunately, i was meant to fail.

i'm going to have my last meal and CTB in about 8-10 hours. thanks SaSu for everything
love you all

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry life is so rough to you. Life's often so unfair. I hope you find peace, safe travels and good luck!

 

[Nlis2244]

I can understand how you feel, since i feel similar. My only cope is that none of it will matter when i'll ctb. I hope you'll find peace whatever you choose to do.

 

[𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄]

im sorry for what CRUEL LIFE has done to u
wish u peace when u take the trip. and best luck!

 

[natthebrat]

I relate kind of, I had big hopes of my own when I was younger to be an indie musician and/or indie games developer, but I haven't had consistent motivation to work on my art in nearly a decade. Not to mention indie culture, at least as I knew and loved it, is irrelevant nowadays anyway. Like you, I know I won't end up doing what I want or need to do regardless of where I am, so I might as well leave so (along with countless other reasons) I at least don't have to live without my purpose.
Good luck, I hope you find peace :)

 

[justcallmeJ]

Reaching your life dreams are hard to get to, but not always impossible. I hope you tried everything you could before you will close the book forever.
In any case i wish you good luck and peace. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[username8888]

i always dreamed about living in amsterdam. i know thats never going to happen. i doubt it would happen if i lived anyway
i'm never going to look the way i want, be as skinny as i want
i won't travel and see the places ive wanted to see, but again thats just something that couldnt have happened whether i was alive or not
hell, i wont even see my graduation.
this life was just unfortunate for me. but thats fine. none of it really matters in the end.
the entire reason im doing this is because everything ive wanted in my life had been unachievable anyway. i always ended up with the middle-ground. i cant complain

That means here is my time to watch bocchi for you. If ever CTB literally, I hope you find your own Amsterdam (your ideal place) in afterlife.


Hello wastingtime,

I'll watch Bocchi for you. If you see this, thank you for your interaction on discord. My only hope is for you to die as painlessly as possible and have an ideal next life.

I always wanted to live in Switzerland for a long time, but it looks like I will burn to ashes there. Take care of yourself.

I would appreciate it if you would come online and say goodbye even once. It's up to you though. Bye.

weird smile :l

 

[loneliness0]

I can hear you feeling stuck/hopeless for life to go in any good direction and Amsterdam seem such buetiful place to live at.

As sad it makes me I wish you best with whatever you decide. I am here also if you decide it not time yet.

 

[Some place nice]

I'm sorry that you feel like that. I hope you find your peace, goodbye.

 

[username8888]

Freedom takes a lot of effort.

 

[gbi2]

For what it is worth, there has never been any obligation to achieve anything. All we have needed to do is try to survive, just like every other animal. And for humans, because we live almost free from predators, our survival is about occupying our mind by finding some of the pointless things available to us, that interests us enough. If you can't find anything, or you previously did but the interest went and then couldn't be replaced. It isn't failure. It's not your fault. The fault is making you think there is an expectation of success in a set of conventions designed to limit the number of people who can be that success.

People who can't or wont subscribe to those conventions have a few choices I suppose. We know one, that's why we are here. The other is to survive on enough to be unhappy and let the world know you are unhappy, by rebelling and making things as difficult as possible for the people who uphold the conventions.
No choice is more correct than any other if none of them intend harm of another.

 

[username8888]

No choice is more correct than any other if none of them intend harm of another.

Well said, in the end the queen and the whore on the street are the same. (That was a metaphor not an insult to woman.)

 

[gbi2]

Well said, in the end the queen and the whore on the street are the same. (That was a metaphor not an insult to woman.)

Yeah it mmay be a metaphor but now you've given me an idea for a 3D printed novelty adult chess set.

 

[username8888]

now you've given me an idea for a 3D printed novelty adult chess set

Wow interesting. It would be very interesting to see all the chess pieces being a lewd women.