heirofvoid
Member
- Dec 20, 2021
- 71
Today I'm thinking about getting a job but when I finally open my laptop I'm met with all of my fears of being an adult.
"Oh fuck I only did one year of college and everything here needs 2 yrs at least so they won't accept me"
"My resume is shit and I don't really have any skills and I've never had any job experience. I only put I'm good at conversational English at least but that won't cut it."
"Okay, let's say someone calls for an interview. What the fuck do I say? What if I just stop thinking and look like an idiot?"
"My last interview last year didn't go well because they literally texted me that I wasn't chosen."
"Okay, let's say you magically passed the interview. How the fuck will you get the documents needed when you get so scared entering anything that resembles an office? I have no idea what's going on outside so how will I also commute? I'll look like an idiot!"
AND MORE!!! JUST CANT FUCKING WRITE THEM ALL DOWN.
So I close the laptop. Head to bed and open my phone to look up CTB methods.
"Now what if this doesn't even work? What if I end up worse because I couldn't follow simple instructions?"
IT'S JUST A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF "ok get a job" and "nevermind i'll ctb" I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE.
There is no one to ask for help and who the fuck will help me anyway? I've cut off everyone except my family but I'll never seek help from them because the last time I did it didn't go well. I feel so fucking trapped. I'm always on my bed just rotting every single day. I am so tired but I do not know how to live nor die. I am so tired. I am so tired.
"Oh fuck I only did one year of college and everything here needs 2 yrs at least so they won't accept me"
"My resume is shit and I don't really have any skills and I've never had any job experience. I only put I'm good at conversational English at least but that won't cut it."
"Okay, let's say someone calls for an interview. What the fuck do I say? What if I just stop thinking and look like an idiot?"
"My last interview last year didn't go well because they literally texted me that I wasn't chosen."
"Okay, let's say you magically passed the interview. How the fuck will you get the documents needed when you get so scared entering anything that resembles an office? I have no idea what's going on outside so how will I also commute? I'll look like an idiot!"
AND MORE!!! JUST CANT FUCKING WRITE THEM ALL DOWN.
So I close the laptop. Head to bed and open my phone to look up CTB methods.
"Now what if this doesn't even work? What if I end up worse because I couldn't follow simple instructions?"
IT'S JUST A NEVER ENDING CYCLE OF "ok get a job" and "nevermind i'll ctb" I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE.
There is no one to ask for help and who the fuck will help me anyway? I've cut off everyone except my family but I'll never seek help from them because the last time I did it didn't go well. I feel so fucking trapped. I'm always on my bed just rotting every single day. I am so tired but I do not know how to live nor die. I am so tired. I am so tired.