Venting i'm fucking tired of guys around me

[blueecat]

i don't want this to come off as anti men or anything, yeah i'm sure there must be SOME decent men in the world. but honestly, i feel like everyone wants to take advantage of me. none of them cares really about what i feel or think. what the hell, this has happened to me several times already. i hate my dad. i hate that every guy that i know resembles him in some way. every guy i've met acts like a friend and then takes advantage of me. how am i supposed to feel okay... i feel like i really can't trust anybody. i don't know what to do anymore, i feel fucking nasty
tf. a guy fucking manipulates, takes advantage of me while i'm drunk and high and then proceeds to tell me i'm a horrible human being when i have done nothing but listen to him and his problems. and i did that because i truly care about him, i still do. i always thought of him as one of my closest friends and i still do. i didn't want to ruin our friendship over this, because i am fucking stupid and naive apparently. but he doesn't want to see me anymore. i hope he feels guilty honestly. worst thing is i still miss him so much

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this kind of behaviour from people. It can really make you question whether anyone is worthy of your time and trust, especially when someone close to you betrays you. However, there is something that I feel is important to keep in mind, especially in moments like this: it is not your fault, and none of this reflects who you are, or your value as a person. It can certainly appear that way at times, because you try to understand why this keeps happening to you, and you somehow arrive at the conclusion that well, you are the common element in all of these situations, so it's likely your own doing even if you can't see how or why it would be. That is about as far from the truth as you could get.

In reality, you are not responsible for the behaviour of others. You're not nasty, or stupid, or naive. Whatever problems you might be dealing with, none of them justify other people's manipulative, abusive, selfish behaviour towards you. There is nothing you should feel guilty of, simply because you've run into scumbags. The truth is that we're all likely to run into people like that at some point, and sadly some folks encounter more of them than anyone would like to. It can hurt a lot, and make you question so much. But remember that none of it is because of you. Don't let them turn this around and use it against you.

The most effective way of dealing with this type of person is to cut them off, like you'd cut off a cancerous growth. We ought to be charitable with others and be open to forgiving them when they screw up, but there is a line that you can't let people cross. When this line is crossed, you need to think about your own well-being first and foremost, and get rid of the negative influences. It is, of course, not easy. Especially not when you're trying to come to terms with having to cut off someone who means a lot to you. It hurts, but it will allow you to heal.

 

[Darkover]

human relationships are a disaster hence why i haven't had one for 18 years now
love isn't real everything one sided no point trying to build a life when it can all just be ripped from you atm
you can't trust anyone in this world not even yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is awful how humans just create more suffering, people like that certainly just make this world a more hellish place. Of course it's certainly for the best to just be alone.

 

[CTB Dream]

Unfortunate human nature make suffer adv this all simil ,human social nonsensi mess bett avoid

 

[Kurushii]

I am sorry you have to deal with this, no one should. You are right that there are some decent men in the world, but they are sadly very scarce to come across. What you went through sounds rather awful, please make sure to take care of yourself and stay safe. You deserve kindness, and to not be mistreated.

 

[lionetta12]

i don't want this to come off as anti men or anything, yeah i'm sure there must be SOME decent men in the world. but honestly, i feel like everyone wants to take advantage of me. none of them cares really about what i feel or think. what the hell, this has happened to me several times already. i hate my dad. i hate that every guy that i know resembles him in some way. every guy i've met acts like a friend and then takes advantage of me. how am i supposed to feel okay... i feel like i really can't trust anybody. i don't know what to do anymore, i feel fucking nasty
tf. a guy fucking manipulates, takes advantage of me while i'm drunk and high and then proceeds to tell me i'm a horrible human being when i have done nothing but listen to him and his problems. and i did that because i truly care about him, i still do. i always thought of him as one of my closest friends and i still do. i didn't want to ruin our friendship over this, because i am fucking stupid and naive apparently. but he doesn't want to see me anymore. i hope he feels guilty honestly. worst thing is i still miss him so much

This is part of the reason why I'm from now on going to try to only be with guys that I meet in church or during philosophical debates and who seem to have strong morals and empathy, since it seems to have been lacking from most guys I was with in the past.

 

[body_snatcher]

This is my experience as well, once you start getting in the range of 40-50 bad exploitative encounters I think it's fair to point out a pattern. I think a lot of the men who act like this tend to see women as objects of desire/prizes vs people. I also think the ones who act like this often tend to have had it kind of easy, at least in my experience. I find the ones who have been through some stuff and were able to process it in a semi healthy way tend to be a lot more empathetic to women. Since my life has been filled with men taking advantage of me I've mostly sworn them off for now, just to give myself a break. I feel your pain, you're not alone and you're not crazy I've seen it too.