suicidal flapper
Student
- Jul 15, 2023
- 104
My dysphoria won. I spent 32k to look different only to look the same. Money I had to scramble for and lucky I even had because the circumstances of getting it were not pleasant. Hormones didn't work as I appear to be estrogen resistant. Facial feminization didn't work. It's over. I have nothing to continue for. Being trans has finally taken its toll on me. I wanted to live but I'm in too much pain to continue life.
I truly hope for a cure in the future. No one deserves this disorder. It's not a good thing like the media paints it as. It's horrific and unbearable. I spent 10 years in total home school isolation in a lonely dark room while being verbally abused every day. I used to think that sense of isolation was the worst pain I had ever felt, but I was wrong. It's this. A constant agonizing feeling
I had things I wanted to do. I had hobbies I wanted to pursue. Maybe if I transitioned when I was a teenager I could've avoided male puberty but I couldn't come out. I had no options.
I'm scared but the pain is just too much. At some point I'll probably write my story of how I got here but I don't suppose it matters too much
I truly hope for a cure in the future. No one deserves this disorder. It's not a good thing like the media paints it as. It's horrific and unbearable. I spent 10 years in total home school isolation in a lonely dark room while being verbally abused every day. I used to think that sense of isolation was the worst pain I had ever felt, but I was wrong. It's this. A constant agonizing feeling
I had things I wanted to do. I had hobbies I wanted to pursue. Maybe if I transitioned when I was a teenager I could've avoided male puberty but I couldn't come out. I had no options.
I'm scared but the pain is just too much. At some point I'll probably write my story of how I got here but I don't suppose it matters too much
