Im feeling so pressured to do it

[Canttakeitanymore]

Im not "excited" like i was at other days, im not feeling like "its all finally going to end!!", it feels so dark, like a horror movie, im so anxious, feeling nausea, its like i dont really wanna do it but I HAVE TO DO IT, because i know how much worse my life will get the longer i postpone this shit, so i have no other option

 

[gothgal]

Im not "excited" like i was at other days, im not feeling like "its all finally going to end!!", it feels so dark, like a horror movie, im so anxious, feeling nausea, its like i dont really wanna do it but I HAVE TO DO IT, because i know how much worse my life will get the longer i postpone this shit, so i have no other option

Hey, no you dont have to do anything, I have noticed if you take a deep breath outside and walk in nature it really helps.

 

[fred farkle]

you can always do it another day.

 

[Prathibha]

I have the same feeling , I know it's become more difficult to live if I don't do it now ,I know there is no going back Nd I know there is no one to save me I have to do it I have to end it asap...

 

[Crusader]

Only you can decide this, no one else. It´s important that you are absolutely sure about There is no way back.

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

Hey there fellow human,
I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. It seems like you/some part of you isn't ready to leave yet, and I think if that's the case trying to catch the bus is not the thing to do (yet). And as far as I can tell as long as people don't really want their existence to end they usually also won't be able to catch the bus.
So maybe you still have things you want to do, things you want to try to get better?
This community is also for people who are also just really struggling with life but want to give things another go, not just those who already have decided that they want to leave soon, so you're still totally welcome here if that's the case and there are many people here who'll be there for you.
But anyway, the only one who can know when the time has come for you to leave is yourself. Maybe that's in a week, a month, a year from now or even longer away. But if the time is right, you will know.
That said, I really understand your inner pressure to leave at the prospect of all the additional future suffering and I really hope that you won't have to experience it or will be able to leave if things truly get too much for you. But I think that if that moment ever does come people usually want to leave and then are able to if they have access to a method. You can prepare your method(s) and get everything sorted out, but I think you'll only be able to leave if you truly want to.
Love,
DD

 

[Trisolaris]

Im not "excited" like i was at other days, im not feeling like "its all finally going to end!!", it feels so dark, like a horror movie, im so anxious, feeling nausea, its like i dont really wanna do it but I HAVE TO DO IT, because i know how much worse my life will get the longer i postpone this shit, so i have no other option

I know how you feel. I feel the same way.

 

[Superdeterminist]

That describes it so well I think. It reminds me of David Foster Wallace's analogy to someone trapped in a burning building on a high storey having to jump out to escape the flames. Your hand is basically forced.

 

[DarkWolf]

I know what you mean. I also feel like I need to die and that I have no choice.

 

[Canttakeitanymore]

Im supposed to do it rn now but all i want is to cuddle my pillow and sleep

 

[Tackingintothewind]

there will be other opportunities. Dont do anything if you dont feel like it

 

[MindFrog]

Yeah, it sucks. It blurs the lines too much that it feels like its not your choice anymore. Just remember you dont have to force yourself, even its your own mind that's telling you to do so. Impulsiveness can only bring you pain.

I hope you're feeling better now, OP. Much love.

 

[Canttakeitanymore]

I didnt ctb and i regret it

 

[hfdepression30]

I didnt ctb and i regret it

There's no rush. If it wasn't the right time, it wasn't the right time.. and it's normal to feel shame or regret for not being able to go through with it. We've all been there and we're all in the same boat more or less. I hope you don't feel too bad about it

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Im not "excited" like i was at other days, im not feeling like "its all finally going to end!!", it feels so dark, like a horror movie, im so anxious, feeling nausea, its like i dont really wanna do it but I HAVE TO DO IT, because i know how much worse my life will get the longer i postpone this shit, so i have no other option

This is a complete guess in the dark, but has someone been bothering you to feel this way?

 

[Deathbydemo]

Why do you feel that you have to? Maybe you can try to explain a little more.

Listen, you don't "have to" do anything. You are in control. You have the power to keep fighting or to give up. Whatever you choose, we are here to listen. You will know when you are ready, and this honestly doesn't sound like you are right now.

 

[Fish Face]

If it is in your heart that you don't want to do it you will fail, and with that comes risks to your health of course. Take some time to figure out why you feel like this before making any decision. Is there any hope you are holding onto or is it fear?