MythicalGriff
Member
- Nov 14, 2023
- 20
Hey guys, first post here. I have been struggling with severe anxiety and depression for years and I just can't take it anymore. I have panic attacks every day. I get so emotional and I can't contain my emotions, sometimes I even cry in public. Everyday I think about ending it all, but I really don't want to do that unless there is absolutely nothing else I can do. I tried therapy, antidepressants, hobbies, but nothing works. I'm driving people away because of my mental illness and it kills me to see the people I look up to the most giving up on me. I know how upset they would be if I died which is why I'm still here. But if I keep disappointing them, then maybe I'd be better off before I end up inevitably burning those bridges. I've been taking the edge off with SH, just using my keys to scratch my skin without the worry of accidentally cutting too deep and needing stitches, but I feel like keys aren't enough anymore. Does anyone have recommendations for safely SHing? I want to make sure that I am 100% sure of my decision before I ctb, and that I won't be institutionalized by accidentally hurting myself without tying loose ends first.
I wrote a note, it isn't a suicide note but it's basically my way of telling the people I care about what I'm going through without talking to them face to face. I tried to talk to them several times before but I always have panic attacks and even though I know they're trying to help me, they aren't the most patient or understanding and get frustrated. Every time I talk to them I make things worse, but every time I lie and say I'm fine, they get upset because they see right through it. I'm not good at concealing my emotions so I can't lie to them. They're everything to me and I just wish they could understand and I'm really afraid by giving this note I'll make things worse but I really don't know what to do. I'm so scared, they're all I have less and I'm afraid of losing them. But I'm at that point where if I don't get help now, I'm going to die. I don't want to leave them with that burden, but I can't keep living like this. I really need help and I don't know who else to turn to.
I wrote a note, it isn't a suicide note but it's basically my way of telling the people I care about what I'm going through without talking to them face to face. I tried to talk to them several times before but I always have panic attacks and even though I know they're trying to help me, they aren't the most patient or understanding and get frustrated. Every time I talk to them I make things worse, but every time I lie and say I'm fine, they get upset because they see right through it. I'm not good at concealing my emotions so I can't lie to them. They're everything to me and I just wish they could understand and I'm really afraid by giving this note I'll make things worse but I really don't know what to do. I'm so scared, they're all I have less and I'm afraid of losing them. But I'm at that point where if I don't get help now, I'm going to die. I don't want to leave them with that burden, but I can't keep living like this. I really need help and I don't know who else to turn to.
