Venting I’m done

[Mene Tame]

I'm done I'm fucking done, i can't handle life anymore it's too much, I feel like everyone around me is a liar or someone that wants to hurt me or is planning to do so, I'm losing my mind by the minute I have manic episodes every day, I cut myself hit myself burn myself im tired, I'm going to distance myself from others because they all want me to live and that's why they're bad if they were good pepole they would let me die, it's either that or listen to the continuous intrusive thoughts that tell me to kill or commit similar crimes, if I'll die everyone will be safe and my mental pain will end
It's agony agony every single day and I can't even tell others I have a therapist but she doesn't understand a thing she says I'm improving but I'm really just getting worse
Alone I'm all alone no one to hug me no one that tells me it's all gonna be alright I don't have the courage to tell others and if I did I would be their laughing stock

 

[v.s.d.l]

I don't know how to help but I feel some of the things you do very strongly. I've been going to therapy and taking psychiatrist prescribed medicatiom and like you, they tell me to stick with it, I'm improving etc. Your last sentence hit me hard, even with the therapist I can't tell the truth or to any family either.

Just want to let you know I share your feelings. I understand this forum is non-judgemental and open to suicide but I still hope you will live.

 

[Mene Tame]

I don't know how to help but I feel some of the things you do very strongly. I've been going to therapy and taking psychiatrist prescribed medicatiom and like you, they tell me to stick with it, I'm improving etc. Your last sentence hit me hard, even with the therapist I can't tell the truth or to any family either.

Just want to let you know I share your feelings. I understand this forum is non-judgemental and open to suicide but I still hope you will live.

I'm really not even on medication I'm just on therapy but yeah I feel hopeless
I probably should be on meds but I'm too afraid to get diagnosed with anything

 

[v.s.d.l]

I'm really not even on medication I'm just on therapy but yeah I feel hopeless
I probably should be on meds but I'm too afraid to get diagnosed with anything

It might be worth a try and might not be, I don't know what ramifications there might be in your country for a diagnosis, or specific diagnoses. I haven't been forcibly locked up or sent to a psych ward yet, and I bought my guns before diagnosis so I'm not sure if that may be a factor. The doctors and psychs I have met all said medication can be effective, and maybe it is if you find the right one.
I wish I could say more but the pills are about to knock me to sleep. Hope you will be well soon.

 

[Mene Tame]

It might be worth a try and might not be, I don't know what ramifications there might be in your country for a diagnosis, or specific diagnoses. I haven't been forcibly locked up or sent to a psych ward yet, and I bought my guns before diagnosis so I'm not sure if that may be a factor. The doctors and psychs I have met all said medication can be effective, and maybe it is if you find the right one.
I wish I could say more but the pills are about to knock me to sleep. Hope you will be well soon.

Guns? Wdym?
Also tbh I really don't want to die I just feel like it's the only way to escape all of this, I feel cornered

 

[v.s.d.l]

can manage one more. The guns I meant literally, I live in the US so i was able to buy several easily but that may not be the case in your country. I know what you mean about escape and being backed into a corner. I think many of us must feel that, you're not alone in these feelings even if you and I don't know how to solve them. i'll check in on this thread tomorrow, hope you will recover Mene

 

[Mene Tame]

can manage one more. The guns I meant literally, I live in the US so i was able to buy several easily but that may not be the case in your country. I know what you mean about escape and being backed into a corner. I think many of us must feel that, you're not alone in these feelings even if you and I don't know how to solve them. i'll check in on this thread tomorrow, hope you will recover Mene

I'd use other methods than guns but yeah I have them ready to use in case I wanted to

 

[quietwater]

I'm done I'm fucking done, i can't handle life anymore it's too much, I feel like everyone around me is a liar or someone that wants to hurt me or is planning to do so, I'm losing my mind by the minute I have manic episodes every day, I cut myself hit myself burn myself im tired, I'm going to distance myself from others because they all want me to live and that's why they're bad if they were good pepole they would let me die, it's either that or listen to the continuous intrusive thoughts that tell me to kill or commit similar crimes, if I'll die everyone will be safe and my mental pain will end
It's agony agony every single day and I can't even tell others I have a therapist but she doesn't understand a thing she says I'm improving but I'm really just getting worse
Alone I'm all alone no one to hug me no one that tells me it's all gonna be alright I don't have the courage to tell others and if I did I would be their laughing stock

I feel a lot like how you described your feelings here, and I am really sorry that you feel this way. But, if I can say something to reassure you, just know that dying isn't the only way out. Saying this I don't want to sound pretentious or an hypocrite, but I want to let you know that everything can get better. I tend to pressure myself in improving, because I think nobody can understand my emotions and that they're all egoistic people, but I know now that there are people that can and will understand your burden. It's horrible to feel cornered like this, it's horrible to agonize because others don't understand. But corners aren't forever, and it can be alright.
I really hope you'll be okay, I wish you the best <3

 

[Mene Tame]

I feel a lot like how you described your feelings here, and I am really sorry that you feel this way. But, if I can say something to reassure you, just know that dying isn't the only way out. Saying this I don't want to sound pretentious or an hypocrite, but I want to let you know that everything can get better. I tend to pressure myself in improving, because I think nobody can understand my emotions and that they're all egoistic people, but I know now that there are people that can and will understand your burden. It's horrible to feel cornered like this, it's horrible to agonize because others don't understand. But corners aren't forever, and it can be alright.
I really hope you'll be okay, I wish you the best <3

Atleast I feel better by knowing there's someone that understands me in a way

 

[quietwater]

Atleast I feel better by knowing there's someone that understands me in a way

Of course, you're not alone in your feelings <33

 

[Mene Tame]

I want to feel better, just live my life without all of this pain and suffering
I feel like that will never happen
I feel like dead weight

 

[AlouA]

I want to feel better, just live my life without all of this pain and suffering
I feel like that will never happen
I feel like dead weight

same

 

[NocturnILL]

Saying it might not mean too much and I'm very sorry for that. That feeling of feeling not a single entity could possibly understand is known very well but trust OP you are far from alone . I hope you feel more at ease as soon as you can.

 

[v.s.d.l]

Hope you're still with us Mene

 

[Mene Tame]

Hope you're still with us Mene

For now yeah