Venting I'm done with repetition

[Covalite]

I have done the basically same thing every day for the past 2 years. I feel stuck and helpless. I just get up do my morning routine check if i have any appointments, if so go to them if not go play video games or watch youtube. Then i go to bed. My life is so boring and dull plus all the times i have been SA and R***d as well and the lack of supportive family of both me being me and also just my joblesseness due to my horrid anxiety bordering on parnoia according to my therapist. I done basicly every type of help under the sun and moon and tbh ive given up. Just wana break the cycle and be able to say farewell to this cruel world. Appolgies for spelling due to never completed High School due to being expelled by a transphobic school board and also I'm just dumb. Sorry for my first thread being a vent...
Forgot to add i often coward out when ever i attempt sucide or someone stops me or it just flat out fails even though I carried through.

 

[inboxed]

Hi, idk how to make u feel better but we're here for your vents! I hate my life too, I have toxic parents always picking about my appearance (saying I'm too skinny when I am fat as sht). I just really hope you're able to find a place u want to be and a place you're happy in, whether that's ctb or changing your lifestyle <3 And a big fck themselves to the r*pists. They should be ashamed for life regarding what they've done to you.

 

[Covalite]

Hi, idk how to make u feel better but we're here for your vents! I hate my life too, I have toxic parents always picking about my appearance (saying I'm too skinny when I am fat as sht). I just really hope you're able to find a place u want to be and a place you're happy in, whether that's ctb or changing your lifestyle <3 And a big fck themselves to the r*pists. They should be ashamed for life regarding what they've done to you.

Sorry im a bit new here and wondering what ctb is also thanks for the reply. I hope you can get away from their parrent cause i can relate. My mom comments on my eating habbits all the time and also occasialy says things that make my gender dysphoria hell. The only reason i keep her in my life is cuase shes usfull for certin things and i would have an even more misserable life without her i think.

 

[inboxed]

Sorry im a bit new here and wondering what ctb is also thanks for the reply. I hope you can get away from their parrent cause i can relate. My mom comments on my eating habbits all the time and also occasialy says things that make my gender dysphoria hell. The only reason i keep her in my life is cuase shes usfull for certin things and i would have an even more misserable life without her i think.

i'm actually new here too! ctb means "catch the bus", a slang for suicide! :( I hope you stay away from that toxic parent, or maybe tell her those comments make u feel bad. i think with eating habits, maybe it's the best to sometimes isolate ourselves and eat mindfully (although I'm super tired of the cliche "you have to eat mindfully!!!") Also, i've never experienced serious gender dysphoria before, so idk, but I hope u have a friend group that you're able to talk comfortably to <33

 

[Covalite]

i'm actually new here too! ctb means "catch the bus", a slang for suicide! :( I hope you stay away from that toxic parent, or maybe tell her those comments make u feel bad. i think with eating habits, maybe it's the best to sometimes isolate ourselves and eat mindfully (although I'm super tired of the cliche "you have to eat mindfully!!!") Also, i've never experienced serious gender dysphoria before, so idk, but I hope u have a friend group that you're able to talk comfortably to <33

I have no friends or family I am close with. My area is quite consertive so often i feal scared to go out and meet people. That has lead to me being a hermit. I have told my mom that and i cant cut her out of my life due to she would harrasess me and i need her for occasial transporation due to i dont drive and my anxiety is so high i dont ride the bus. Also thanks for telling me what ctb means.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry feel loop trap rpt exp abuse etc vrty this awful trnsphb do u this ,cruel world this v awful make sffr, can talk any want here
hope peace

 

[noname_noface]

I have done the basically same thing every day for the past 2 years. I feel stuck and helpless. I just get up do my morning routine check if i have any appointments, if so go to them if not go play video games or watch youtube. Then i go to bed. My life is so boring and dull plus all the times i have been SA and R***d as well and the lack of supportive family of both me being me and also just my joblesseness due to my horrid anxiety bordering on parnoia according to my therapist. I done basicly every type of help under the sun and moon and tbh ive given up. Just wana break the cycle and be able to say farewell to this cruel world. Appolgies for spelling due to never completed High School due to being expelled by a transphobic school board and also I'm just dumb. Sorry for my first thread being a vent...
Forgot to add i often coward out when ever i attempt sucide or someone stops me or it just flat out fails even though I carried through.I

Have you ever tried to change up the routine and going out to do something you like? Maybe movies, walk a dog (if you have one), find a community fit in with.. if you like games maybe like comic stores where they play pokemon and other stuff? They even have arcades, vr places.. maybe escape rooms even? Sometimes it feels good to do something outside your comfortable routine even though it's terrifying... Once you make the leap to do so, you might enjoy it.

 

[Covalite]

Vry sry feel loop trap rpt exp abuse etc vrty this awful trnsphb do u this ,cruel world this v awful make sffr, can talk any want here
hope peace

Thanks for the kind words.

Have you ever tried to change up the routine and going out to do something you like? Maybe movies, walk a dog (if you have one), find a community fit in with.. if you like games maybe like comic stores where they play pokemon and other stuff? They even have arcades, vr places.. maybe escape rooms even? Sometimes it feels good to do something outside your comfortable routine even though it's terrifying... Once you make the leap to do so, you might enjoy it.

I have many times, every time i do though it ends in pain, embarressment or sheer anxiety attacks. And im not the type of person to give up on something easily. when i do go out of my way to try new things i try try again even if it goes poorly. But in the end it always ends up leading back to my loop

 

[noname_noface]

Thanks for the kind words.

I have many times, every time i do though it ends in pain, embarressment or sheer anxiety attacks. And im not the type of person to give up on something easily. when i do go out of my way to try new things i try try again even if it goes poorly. But in the end it always ends up leading back to my loop

I can completely understand that.. have you ever tried to meet your virtual friends you play games with irl? (idk you so just a suggestion if it's a possibility) Maybe if you try to meet up with them you guys can find something to do and it might help with the negative experiences with going on. ALSO not giving up on something easily is a great quality to have!

 

[Covalite]

I can completely understand that.. have you ever tried to meet your virtual friends you play games with irl? (idk you so just a suggestion if it's a possibility) Maybe if you try to meet up with them you guys can find something to do and it might help with the negative experiences with going on. ALSO not giving up on something easily is a great quality to have!

I haven't tried that mostly cause non of them are in my state and i dont have the money to see them plus i think that might over step boundaries with most of them. I have talked about it with them and most of them say the typical "call a help line" or "choose happiness" also a classic is "just get some help". Also thanks for the complement i rarely get them so it means a lot.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, life certainly is just a futile cycle of endless days and it could never appeal to me having to endure something so useless as existing in this hellish world. It's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from it all, as life really is something so harmful and it's horrible how humans just create even more suffering. But anyway, best wishes.

 

[Covalite]

To me, life certainly is just a futile cycle of endless days and it could never appeal to me having to endure something so useless as existing in this hellish world. It's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from it all, as life really is something so harmful and it's horrible how humans just create even more suffering. But anyway, best wishes.

Life is so many factors and basicly all my factors say life is pointless I have no future and it will be the same loop till my cycle ends.