I have thought that this might be the case for me sometimes, and it could be, but I think that it is a lot more likely, in my case anyway, that it's just bad luck. My life has been horrible, but some have had it worse- some kid are tortured to death by their parents when they are one, two, or three years old- I do think that this is worse, though not by a lot- at least their suffering didn't happen over so many years.
Anyway, that's a little off track, depression is a subject that kid of lends itself to rambling/tangents. In some near death experiences people have been told that they agreed to the suffering in this life before they started on this life so that they could learn certain lessons from it, but I haven't learned anywhere near enough in this life for it it be worth all the pain. I've seen so many people who have mean sides to them live really good lives- it's such a shame. There is so much injustice in this world. About 1% of people die by ctb, mainly due to bad luck from things going wrong in their lives.
I guess my conclusion is that it is likely that you did nothing to deserve the suffering, in my opinoin- just like when somebody fires a gun randomly into a crowd and one or two people are killed or get paralyzed and the rest survive, it's just bad luck for the people who happened to be hit.
We want things to make sense in this world, but there is so much good and bad luck, there is so much random chance- which is east to accept if you get really good luck but not if you get really bad luck. Some people who get the best luck are so mean to others who do not, which is one of the hardest things to accept- often bullies are people who have great lives but who are mean in how they exploit others.
Sorry I don't have better solutions here, but just because a person is sufffering doesn't mean they deserve to suffer, they may have just had very bad luck.
