Help I'm being monitored

[PlasticFace]

I cut off my friends a month or two ago because I'm planning on CTB soon but of course, they caught on. I should've done it slower and I really think I fucked myself over. I got a call from one of them and she said that she was checking up on me. I always feel like a helpless kid when people say that and I was already pretty annoyed so I let some truth slip and I told her that I didn't want her to miss me, so I pushed myself away. I don't even know why I said that and I regret it so soo much because now she is in my house and refusing to leave.

She is literally holding me prisoner in my own home and I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking scared and freaking out 24/7. It feels exactly the same as when I was a kid living with my mom. She cries and tells me she's sorry for not seeing the signs. She said that she was doing this for my own good and that I'd thank her in the end. Is this even legal? She's been insisting on cooking because she doesn't want me to hurt myself and she took all of my fucking doorknobs off.

I told our friends and they said that THEY KNOW!!! I've been lied to this entire time and I thought these people actually cared about me. I feel like a pet to this girl and I'm scared and I don't know how to get out. I can't even write this without having to close the tab and check where she is every minute or so. My tremors are getting worse and she's babying me about it and acting like I can't help myself. I can't even imagine what she'd do if she found this forum. WHAT DO I DO????

 

[Aisley]

Jesus. The damage a well-meaning fool can do. Maybe tell her she's treating you/making you feel like a pet? That she's assaulting your very autonomy? But when they think they know better than you, that's tough. Pretty much a brick wall.

 

[scarletstarlet]

Call the police. If you want someone out of your house and they won't leave, that's trespassing.

 

[PlasticFace]

Jesus. The damage a well-meaning fool can do. Maybe tell her she's treating you/making you feel like a pet? That she's assaulting your very autonomy? But when they think they know better than you, that's tough. Pretty much a brick wall.

Yeah, I've already tried talking to her, many many times, she acts like I'm stupid and can't think for myself so she definitely thinks she knows me more than I do. I even tried to just leave and being agoraphobic, that was already hard, but she wouldn't let me go and tried to talk me down like a little kid. I just don't want to be sent to a unit idk what I'm going to do yet.

 

[Aisley]

Maybe, for now, just take it for what it is- free love. I mean, you have a working timeline, and you were already struggling with some basic shit like stairs and tremors. Accept her good intentions until she settles down, and maybe this could be some of the best time your fucked up life offered you. She will ease up eventually. Sorry this doesn't help more.

 

[Archness]

Holy Shit. This is why I can NEVER open up about these problems, this is literally shit my mother would pull.

Their idea of helping is to basically take over. If your gonna ctb remove all traces of this websites, she's gonna snoop around for something to pin the blame on.

 

[notSamiguess]

I cut off my friends a month or two ago because I'm planning on CTB soon but of course, they caught on. I should've done it slower and I really think I fucked myself over. I got a call from one of them and she said that she was checking up on me. I always feel like a helpless kid when people say that and I was already pretty annoyed so I let some truth slip and I told her that I didn't want her to miss me, so I pushed myself away. I don't even know why I said that and I regret it so soo much because now she is in my house and refusing to leave.

She is literally holding me prisoner in my own home and I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking scared and freaking out 24/7. It feels exactly the same as when I was a kid living with my mom. She cries and tells me she's sorry for not seeing the signs. She said that she was doing this for my own good and that I'd thank her in the end. Is this even legal? She's been insisting on cooking because she doesn't want me to hurt myself and she took all of my fucking doorknobs off.

I told our friends and they said that THEY KNOW!!! I've been lied to this entire time and I thought these people actually cared about me. I feel like a pet to this girl and I'm scared and I don't know how to get out. I can't even write this without having to close the tab and check where she is every minute or so. My tremors are getting worse and she's babying me about it and acting like I can't help myself. I can't even imagine what she'd do if she found this forum. WHAT DO I DO????

Your start is you need to convince her to settle the fuck down, yeah? And then get to a point where she'll leave. What stage are you at in your leaving plan? You said you were pushing them away for when you ctb but around when were you planning to do that? The more rushed you are the more rushed (but seemingly relaxed) getting her out will need to be. She does not have the right to do something "for your own good" without actual knowledge on what the fuck she's doing. Obviously she's having the obvious affect and even bringing up past unpleasant memories so at this point she is doing way more harm than good. Don't feel like you owe her your compliance. Sit her down and come up with a compromise and actual plan for what she can do to help you. (acting "self aware" in the way they want is usually a good way to get them to calm down. She doesn't see you as in your right mind, or even totally insane.) If you do that, you may be able to give yourself enough wiggle room to get the hell out. If you aren't able to find a way to peel her off enough to do what you want in your own home, hopefully at least give yourself the chance to get out of the place. You mention agoraphobia, so your not going to be able to just run. Maybe you can find someone in your area to stay with for a bit instead that's not connected to you friends? You may have to meet someone else for this so I have no clue.

Remember, she is actively harming you by doing this, and while she may not know that, she NEEDS to know it as that's what she's trying to avoid. If she'd actually realize she's hurting you than it may cause her to actually back up and calm down to consider how to do what she's trying to safely and without choking you (and hopefully giving you an out.)

Very sorry if it seems like I'm mostly just repeating what you said back to you, but you seem to be in a very stressful situation, so putting what your experiencing into perspective can help you come up with a plan of what needs to be done. Best of luck <3

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Holy, I don't even know what to say. What she's doing definitely isn't legal but this is is bizarre.

The only thing I can really suggest is to seek legal advice ASAP.

 

[harbinger0]

if you call the authorities you could tell them she's delusional or that you don't understand why she's doing this. if you tell them about the stuff she's been doing without mentioning why she's doing it it paints a pretty horrific picture.

i'm so sorry you have to deal with this shit. pro-lifers are always obsessed with taking over your autonomy and acting like they know you better than yourself, and it's so so fucked up. please do your best to get out of there- you could also act like her method has "worked" and act happier and talk about how much better you feel and how you were so stupid before etc etc. these people won't listen unless you're telling them what they want to hear, so give it to her. this is a more long-term method than calling the authorities, but if you feel like you can't call them i think this is your next best bet.

good luck :(

 

[PlasticFace]

Your start is you need to convince her to settle the fuck down, yeah? And then get to a point where she'll leave. What stage are you at in your leaving plan? You said you were pushing them away for when you ctb but around when were you planning to do that? The more rushed you are the more rushed (but seemingly relaxed) getting her out will need to be. She does not have the right to do something "for your own good" without actual knowledge on what the fuck she's doing. Obviously she's having the obvious affect and even bringing up past unpleasant memories so at this point she is doing way more harm than good. Don't feel like you owe her your compliance. Sit her down and come up with a compromise and actual plan for what she can do to help you. (acting "self aware" in the way they want is usually a good way to get them to calm down. She doesn't see you as in your right mind, or even totally insane.) If you do that, you may be able to give yourself enough wiggle room to get the hell out. If you aren't able to find a way to peel her off enough to do what you want in your own home, hopefully at least give yourself the chance to get out of the place. You mention agoraphobia, so your not going to be able to just run. Maybe you can find someone in your area to stay with for a bit instead that's not connected to you friends? You may have to meet someone else for this so I have no clue.

Remember, she is actively harming you by doing this, and while she may not know that, she NEEDS to know it as that's what she's trying to avoid. If she'd actually realize she's hurting you than it may cause her to actually back up and calm down to consider how to do what she's trying to safely and without choking you (and hopefully giving you an out.)

Very sorry if it seems like I'm mostly just repeating what you said back to you, but you seem to be in a very stressful situation, so putting what your experiencing into perspective can help you come up with a plan of what needs to be done. Best of luck <3

I have a sort-of bucket list of things I was hoping to do before I CTB and I was just about to do my last two big things before this shit happened and at this point, I don't even care about finishing them anymore. I just want to self-destruct I'm so stressed out. I got so desperate that I cried and begged her to leave and she tried to put me to bed like I was a fussing toddler. I trusted this person with my secrets and I'm in so much shock that I can't even think about what to do right now. Your post definitely helped me with the thought process and I think I'll just have to wait it out and see if she breaks at all so I can take advantage of that moment. I need something more permanent than staying with someone else and honestly, the absolute last thing I want to do is stay with another person. I need to move because this isn't the first time that they've intruded and acted like it's no big deal. I just think it'd be silly since I don't plan on staying much longer anyway.

 

[notSamiguess]

I have a sort-of bucket list of things I was hoping to do before I CTB and I was just about to do my last two big things before this shit happened and at this point, I don't even care about finishing them anymore. I just want to self-destruct I'm so stressed out. I got so desperate that I cried and begged her to leave and she tried to put me to bed like I was a fussing toddler. I trusted this person with my secrets and I'm in so much shock that I can't even think about what to do right now. Your post definitely helped me with the thought process and I think I'll just have to wait it out and see if she breaks at all so I can take advantage of that moment. I need something more permanent than staying with someone else and honestly, the absolute last thing I want to do is stay with another person. I need to move because this isn't the first time that they've intruded and acted like it's no big deal. I just think it'd be silly since I don't plan on staying much longer anyway.

She does not have the right to take away your free will and ability to do what you wanted before you leave. Waiting will be necessary, but there are things you can do to make yourself less miserable in her presence. I'm not sure how great you are at acting but trauma always helps with that so I'm sure you can do good enough to budge her back inch by inch on the little things. The fact that your willing to wait is good as it gives you more time to convince her that you are doing better in the long term. I know plenty of people have already mentioned this, but if you wanted to, you are currently in a good enough spot to call the police on her. Now you will probably have a harder time convincing them that you aren't " a danger to yourself" (especially if her friends will back her with their word against you) but it's better than what she is doing to you. There are also things you can do to make her break for you faster. It may also work if you literally force her to have a serious conversation with you about it (but this will force you to give her quite a bit of what she wants in order to let you have anything and not brush you off). Depending on your housing situation, it is possible for you to just... Sell where your living out from under you and disappear in whatever way you can (maybe this would leave you with funds to rent somewhere to do what you need and cut them off the rest of the way.) But mostly what I'm trying to say is you have options. You don't have to be stuck where you are, and she has absolutely no right or ability to make you. And don't discount your feelings just because they won't last long, this is the time you've given yourself and you should not let it get taken away from you just because this bitch has decided she's suddenly a professional phycologist.

She does not have the right to take away your free will and ability to do what you wanted before you leave. Waiting will be necessary, but there are things you can do to make yourself less miserable in her presence. I'm not sure how great you are at acting but trauma always helps with that so I'm sure you can do good enough to budge her back inch by inch on the little things. The fact that your willing to wait is good as it gives you more time to convince her that you are doing better in the long term. I know plenty of people have already mentioned this, but if you wanted to, you are currently in a good enough spot to call the police on her. Now you will probably have a harder time convincing them that you aren't " a danger to yourself" (especially if her friends will back her with their word against you) but it's better than what she is doing to you. There are also things you can do to make her break for you faster. It may also work if you literally force her to have a serious conversation with you about it (but this will force you to give her quite a bit of what she wants in order to let you have anything and not brush you off). Depending on your housing situation, it is possible for you to just... Sell where your living out from under you and disappear in whatever way you can (maybe this would leave you with funds to rent somewhere to do what you need and cut them off the rest of the way.) But mostly what I'm trying to say is you have options. You don't have to be stuck where you are, and she has absolutely no right or ability to make you. And don't discount your feelings just because they won't last long, this is the time you've given yourself and you should not let it get taken away from you just because this bitch has decided she's suddenly a professional phycologist.

(Tbh you also have the option of physical violence in the name of self defense to make her leave but I'm taking it that your not going to ever go that route since most people aren't and she was your friend.)

 

[leloyon]

She is holding you hostage. She has absolutely no right to do this whatsoever. Call the police, this is trespassing and false imprisonment.

 

[LateForTheBus]

Ohmygosh! I'm so, so sorry you are dealing with this. I don't know what to suggest to make it better, other than maybe calling the police to have her removed. I'm sending you all the love and positive energy that I can muster. I hope she leaves soon! ((Hugs))

 

[SilentSadness]

What a delusional person, it's definitely understandable if you don't want to call the police because that kind of person wouldn't go down without bringing everyone else down with them. It's horrible how people treat others in this world. It's almost never beneficial to tell others of your suicidality due to this kind of abuse, this should be a lesson to everyone. I hope you find a way out of this situation.

 

[Unattainable666]

I cut off my friends a month or two ago because I'm planning on CTB soon but of course, they caught on. I should've done it slower and I really think I fucked myself over. I got a call from one of them and she said that she was checking up on me. I always feel like a helpless kid when people say that and I was already pretty annoyed so I let some truth slip and I told her that I didn't want her to miss me, so I pushed myself away. I don't even know why I said that and I regret it so soo much because now she is in my house and refusing to leave.

She is literally holding me prisoner in my own home and I don't know what to do. I'm so fucking scared and freaking out 24/7. It feels exactly the same as when I was a kid living with my mom. She cries and tells me she's sorry for not seeing the signs. She said that she was doing this for my own good and that I'd thank her in the end. Is this even legal? She's been insisting on cooking because she doesn't want me to hurt myself and she took all of my fucking doorknobs off.

I told our friends and they said that THEY KNOW!!! I've been lied to this entire time and I thought these people actually cared about me. I feel like a pet to this girl and I'm scared and I don't know how to get out. I can't even write this without having to close the tab and check where she is every minute or so. My tremors are getting worse and she's babying me about it and acting like I can't help myself. I can't even imagine what she'd do if she found this forum. WHAT DO I DO????

I think some people do this shit because once they know they feel responsible to "take care of you." If you ctb on their watch they would have a difficult time dealing with it with the knowledge they didn't try to stop you. This is a two edge sword. You obviously have someone who cares about you BUT you have the right as an adult to make your own decisions. Good luck. If you do call the cops, DO NOT tell them you are suicidal it will get much worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like an horrific situation to be trapped in, it disgusts me how some people want to make existence into a prison, suicidal people don't deserve to be punished by being forced to suffer in this world so I hope that you get out of that situation. To me, it's always a terrible idea being open about suicide as sadly there are so many selfish people who refuse to accept the right to die.

 

[Aisley]

Just a little more sounding board type noise for you.
I really don't see you calling the cops on her, (and if you did you would be in the right) but she would probably put another of your friends on "you" watch. And that puts you in the horrible possible realm of rushing things. That's the worst that could happen here. Rushing shit, opening the doors to botching something because you think you have five minutes to do what you need to do.
in the grand scope of your problems, her being in your home is probably the most temporary of them all. Sit tight, make yourself see this as something good, somehow, so you aren't as stressed by it, and in the meantime, use her if possible, to get the last of your list done. Like get rides from her and shit, you know? She won't be there forever.