Venting Im begging for mercy... Should i just do it?

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I have so much too loose if I fail. Time is running and I am "sleeping" I just want an end and no more brain damage and restriction of autonomy. I have issues with my body so both methods i have here feel unsafe regarding death. I don't understand myself anymore. I just want to end it. Why is there no solution?

It feels like i have everything one needs, to stand in its own way. I always felt incompetent but this tops it. With my deep trust issues and anxiety I feel like NOTHING is possible for me anymore. But I don't want to support the medical and psychiatric system in any form any more. They did too much damage already. I have the gullible part in me, thats me?!, that I make responsible for this shit.

I hate everything, and I am sad, inable, horrible. I don't get why people don't kill me already, if i tell them that I've became a horrible person.

I'm torn. How can this happen...

Now ive been thinking about charcoal... But i don't have time and meds anymore that make me function to further research and procure.


I need assisted suicide quick i even want to run the diagnostic measures required for the continuation of my physical recovery... I don't want to meet any doctor anymore. But that's the only way on this earth... Help!

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

And now i stumble upon this video where two guys were paid to kill a woman and got money for guns but they spent it on drugs and stabbed her instead..




I was so much further and now back in my fears...
I have an AE but am scared to try it. What if I have bad side effects? I cant cope with any backlash.. I even feel like i cant make a new exit bag... All methods are leaking it feels...
Is there not a good jumping spot available near me? ... Adhd + anxious head :do people at beachy head survive?

I will never be able to overcome my fucking ass... [fill in problem of choice] anxiety... Thats why i want a partner... But in the end. I'm afraid of the world. I am too sensitive for roughness... I want a cozy death.


I forgot how to connect. Since my accident my vision gets worse... The images dilate and I can't connect the images all the time in all perspectives... "why do you have to be this medical experiment" - "because you said it*... /the reaction to....

What if no one can provide me with the help I need? Why is there no death-line in our medical system :(

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for, I find it so cruel and horrible how assisted suicide isn't legalised, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to finally be free from all the suffering existing causes.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

Maybe something more dynamic like a sword and jumping into it

I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for, I find it so cruel and horrible how assisted suicide isn't legalised, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to finally be free from all the suffering existing causes.

I hope the same for you! In case you are looking for peace... but what else could you be looking for? ...


Sorry since my accident i feel like im becoming.... Lets leave it at brain damage...

 

[divinemistress36]

I have brain damage too and medical system has made it worse I understand your frustration I want to cbt too. I hope you find peace

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

I have brain damage too and medical system has made it worse I understand your frustration I want to cbt too. I hope you find peace

I'm sorry that you are in this too.
Have u decided on a method yet?
I lay and sit around hoping to find a position for my and loose my SI to just do it besides my fears...

 

[mortuarymary]

Only you can know that. If it's medically viable in your country then go for it. It's the only way I want to go. I'm terrified of all the other methods.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

Only you can know that. If it's medically viable in your country then go for it. It's the only way I want to go. I'm terrified of all the other methods.

You mean medically assisted suicide? Its not. I tried (like I always try... messing everything up).