azalea087
solitude
- Mar 4, 2023
- 30
I havent logged on here in a while because things were looking up but of course it didnt
not to excited that im back here (not to be rude, just because of that small hope that things will get better)
Things have gotten worse since my last thread.
I was planning to ctb after doing the last things i wanted to do in life
Sadly those things were drugs and video games.
I lost 90% of my friends because i realized they were just using me for stuff/money, i cut them off but now i have like 3 people that i can text that would respond. (I should be grateful because thats more than some people)
I hooked up with an ex girlfriend and I ended up trying
heroin
, since then i havent felt a single ounce of emotion and happiness that could even compare to that, i used what i had left and now i feel the worst i imagine anyone can. The only reason i havent offed myself is because im praying that maybe theres some plan for my life, im deeply desperate for anything right now, the only thing i have to look forward to right now is getting a job somewhere and hopefully meeting people. I seriously just dont think it can get much worse.
Im sorry if this is in the wrong place since it is more about recovery then ctb
Tldr: addicted to heroin, life cant get worse
It sounds like a joke and like that it isnt real but its this bad, i cant even sleep anymore because every dream is about a better life than the one im living, i cant watch any social media or youtube because it just shows me people in amazing relationships or people with a fuck ton of money it's impossible to live without being hit in the face with how much better everyone else has it, every fucking second of my life is terrible its so weird to just say that i want it to end but i do, i miss my girlfriend i miss being happy
not to excited that im back here (not to be rude, just because of that small hope that things will get better)
Things have gotten worse since my last thread.
I was planning to ctb after doing the last things i wanted to do in life
Sadly those things were drugs and video games.
I lost 90% of my friends because i realized they were just using me for stuff/money, i cut them off but now i have like 3 people that i can text that would respond. (I should be grateful because thats more than some people)
I hooked up with an ex girlfriend and I ended up trying
heroin
, since then i havent felt a single ounce of emotion and happiness that could even compare to that, i used what i had left and now i feel the worst i imagine anyone can. The only reason i havent offed myself is because im praying that maybe theres some plan for my life, im deeply desperate for anything right now, the only thing i have to look forward to right now is getting a job somewhere and hopefully meeting people. I seriously just dont think it can get much worse.
Im sorry if this is in the wrong place since it is more about recovery then ctb
Tldr: addicted to heroin, life cant get worse
It sounds like a joke and like that it isnt real but its this bad, i cant even sleep anymore because every dream is about a better life than the one im living, i cant watch any social media or youtube because it just shows me people in amazing relationships or people with a fuck ton of money it's impossible to live without being hit in the face with how much better everyone else has it, every fucking second of my life is terrible its so weird to just say that i want it to end but i do, i miss my girlfriend i miss being happy
Last edited: