Been away from here for awhile. Was feeling a little better. A little. But the last few days have been really hard.
I've had nightmares the last few nights. Last night was especially bad. The night before last, I woke up with roaring in my ears and that familiar sense of impending doom. Nothing specific - just something.
Then I find out my ex-wife lied to me and has been medicating my boy behind my back. I profoundly disagree with it and the rage I feel is overwhelming. But there's nothing I can do.
I walked away from my youngest 2 kids bc of a highly toxic baby momma. She drove me to the brink of suicide 3 different times and then got mad bc I was "manipulating" her. It didn't feel very manipulative when I looked down the barrel of my 12 guage and put the 11/16" wrench on the trigger (note that it's the perfect size and length to do the job). I'm on the verge of walking away from my boy, too.
I can't bear the loss of all my kids.
Tonight isn't the night. I won't be rash.
I've had nightmares the last few nights. Last night was especially bad. The night before last, I woke up with roaring in my ears and that familiar sense of impending doom. Nothing specific - just something.
Then I find out my ex-wife lied to me and has been medicating my boy behind my back. I profoundly disagree with it and the rage I feel is overwhelming. But there's nothing I can do.
I walked away from my youngest 2 kids bc of a highly toxic baby momma. She drove me to the brink of suicide 3 different times and then got mad bc I was "manipulating" her. It didn't feel very manipulative when I looked down the barrel of my 12 guage and put the 11/16" wrench on the trigger (note that it's the perfect size and length to do the job). I'm on the verge of walking away from my boy, too.
I can't bear the loss of all my kids.
Tonight isn't the night. I won't be rash.
