Venting i’m back in the US and i hate it. (not political)

[synthcadia]

i returned to the US yesterday after a pretty rough journey (my flight was delayed and it had to be rebooked, and then one of my baggage was delayed so it's being delivered today hopefully).

after getting in the car i just cried. because i didn't want to get back here. i hate america. i hate the culture. i hate that people greatly suffer here. i hate it. i just have been to better places and i can say that america CAN be better, but it isn't. i am just extremely grateful to live in a good place, but so many people don't.

my heart hurts. i feel empty. i feel like i am grieving. it's christmas eve and i don't feel happy or anything. i mean i was dreading this day for a month prior. i was dreading this day. i didn't want to come back. i was HAPPY in finland. and now i am going to hate myself here.

i feel like any progress i made will just be thrown out. i just hate american consumerism, culture, government, people's rudeness, a lot of things. and i know a lot of countries also have some shit, like i KNOW that. but when people glorify americs it makes me sick. cause i know there are better places.

also, finland (helsinki) was a bit cheaper than where i live, even with the conversion rate. and where i live isn't that expensive.

i just to move out of here as soon as possible. and i know i'm hormonal because on my period but i felt this when i wasn't as hormonal. so.

i kinda wanted to ctb or drink or get really high to cope. or just stay in my room.

i just hate it so much. and my family is fine, i love them, though my brother just invalidated my feelings.

ngl i feel like this may be the trigger to my depression spiral and everything. i was very dissociated the few weeks before. my acne is HORRIBLE. and i mean my mom said my face looks bruised. yeah. anyway.

 

[SilentSadness]

That sounds terrible and I understand, some things are just inherently toxic. I hope you won't have to suffer as much as you say.

 

[Rational man]

i returned to the US yesterday after a pretty rough journey (my flight was delayed and it had to be rebooked, and then one of my baggage was delayed so it's being delivered today hopefully).

after getting in the car i just cried. because i didn't want to get back here. i hate america. i hate the culture. i hate that people greatly suffer here. i hate it. i just have been to better places and i can say that america CAN be better, but it isn't. i am just extremely grateful to live in a good place, but so many people don't.

my heart hurts. i feel empty. i feel like i am grieving. it's christmas eve and i don't feel happy or anything. i mean i was dreading this day for a month prior. i was dreading this day. i didn't want to come back. i was HAPPY in finland. and now i am going to hate myself here.

i feel like any progress i made will just be thrown out. i just hate american consumerism, culture, government, people's rudeness, a lot of things. and i know a lot of countries also have some shit, like i KNOW that. but when people glorify americs it makes me sick. cause i know there are better places.

also, finland (helsinki) was a bit cheaper than where i live, even with the conversion rate. and where i live isn't that expensive.

i just to move out of here as soon as possible. and i know i'm hormonal because on my period but i felt this when i wasn't as hormonal. so.

i kinda wanted to ctb or drink or get really high to cope. or just stay in my room.

i just hate it so much. and my family is fine, i love them, though my brother just invalidated my feelings.

ngl i feel like this may be the trigger to my depression spiral and everything. i was very dissociated the few weeks before. my acne is HORRIBLE. and i mean my mom said my face looks bruised. yeah. anyway.

Though I live in UK, I read articles about American's situ but to be honest, I think our world is in difficulty right now. I thought maybe I.focus.too much.on.bad news.but I.think there's so much.anger and selfishness around. Im.sorry you feel pain.

 

[caninecomposer]

I've wanted to escape the US for so long, but I don't think I have the resources or network to comfortably achieve foreign citizenship without risking permanent homelessness or deportation in the process, in which I would lose everything and not be able to properly CTB if it came to that. I would at least want a friend to stay with in an emergency, or an employer that's guaranteed to not randomly lay off its entire workforce before I'm properly settled into the country and am legally allowed to be there. So I'll just continue suffering and dissociating from the horrible reality of daily life in America.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The United States is indeed a toxic shithole. To all the people outside of this country that feel envious of the U.S. - don't. You're not missing out on anything. USA is filled with trash. Literally the worst people this planet has to offer. I have relatives from a second world/borderline third world country that always have remorse after moving here, and always want to go back.

As the standard of living slowly improves in all of these countries that have been cheaply producing for fat, lazy and disgusting Americans all of these years, the tables will slowly turn. We will try once more to exert brute force in order to reestablish dominance, but this time it may not work.

 

[synthcadia]

That sounds terrible and I understand, some things are just inherently toxic. I hope you won't have to suffer as much as you say.

yeah, i mean the nature is pretty. that's a benefit. but thanks. i hope so too.

i'm trying to find the positive but i just feel so angry. i'm so negative. i don't want to suffer here. i mean i'm hormonal but still.

i think my partner will see i'm a shell of myself.

sometimes i think that i am just overexaggerating maybe. idk. i'm tired of seeing kids killed in the street. and i'm tired of seeing homelessness. and yeah, america is just inherently toxic.

Though I live in UK, I read articles about American's situ but to be honest, I think our world is in difficulty right now. I thought maybe I.focus.too much.on.bad news.but I.think there's so much.anger and selfishness around. Im.sorry you feel pain.

i think you're right. i mean there are a lot of countries that are not great, but just yeah… i am trying not to look at the news anymore. makes me very dissociated.

 

[jbear824]

The US is a shit hole trying to pass itself off as gold.

 

[synthcadia]

I've wanted to escape the US for so long, but I don't think I have the resources or network to comfortably achieve foreign citizenship without risking permanent homelessness or deportation in the process, in which I would lose everything and not be able to properly CTB if it came to that. I would at least want a friend to stay with in an emergency, or an employer that's guaranteed to not randomly lay off its entire workforce before I'm properly settled into the country and am legally allowed to be there. So I'll just continue suffering and dissociating from the horrible reality of daily life in America.

i understand that. i am extremely grateful that i have a plan, since a lot of people aren't able to leave. i'm going to try to move in with my partner hopefully in sweden. that's all valid and just yeah… like my partner said i should try not to dissociate but dissociation makes me get through america. i hope you can leave.

The United States is indeed a toxic shithole. To all the people outside of this country that feel envious of the U.S. - don't. You're not missing out on anything. USA is filled with trash. Literally the worst people this planet has to offer. I have relatives from a second world/borderline third world country that always have remorse after moving here, and always want to go back.

As the standard of living slowly improves in all of these countries that have been cheaply producing for fat, lazy and disgusting Americans all of these years, the tables will slowly turn. We will try once more to exert brute force in order to reestablish dominance, but this time it may not work.

i tell people that. it's ok for visiting, but don't live here. it is literally and metaphorically trashy. like, i think there are worse countries (iran is horrible, don't get me wrong) but in terms of 1st world countries, america is like florida. i feel like other countries are better than america.

you're 10000% right though.

The US is a shit hole trying to pass itself off as gold.

honestly. HONESTLY.