Venting I'm alive

[luisamanequim]

I tried at 29 of February idk if anyone reading saw my post but yeah I'm alive and miserable both physically and mentally. almost no one cared that I literally almost died but two people that ignored my post regarding my almost death sent me congratulations for getting into college (I considered these two one of my closest friends and vented to one of them a lot) like seriously what the fuck what the FUCK is wrong with these people.

also before I went to the hospital my family just watched me laying on my own vomit, shaking like crazy and in pain and did not call 911 for a long time, I had to try to grab my sister's legs and beg her to call and kept asking what was wrong with them.

and don't even get me started on the hospital treatment, disgusting and inhumane.

when I left the nurses were like "new life! " "it's better now!" like tf??? no it's not??? I feel even worse now that people that I thought were my friends didn't even care when I almost died. life is terrible and everything is the same, if not worst.

 

[UKscotty]

I know its hard to not blame people but I find it helps to put myself in their shoes. For those of us where treatment didn't work, there is not a lot people can do and they feel hopeless and distraught.

Medical teams have tried with me for 25 years and I strongly defend them against people who attack doctors and nurses. They try their best but I just believe some of us are too broken to be fixed. Governments and pharmaceutical companies are to blame, a customer on pills for life is better than someone who has recovered.

 

[Linda]

I know. Sometimes people - even people close to you - just aren't on the same wavelength and no matter how hard you try you can't get them to understand things that seem absolutely obvious to you. I guess that means you have to accept that you are on your own, and take it from there. Some of the people on this site will have experiences very similar to yours, and so can offer support, and all of us have had difficult experiences of one kind or another, so we will at least be sympathetic even if we don't truly understand your situation.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Hugs to you.

 

[luisamanequim]

I know its hard to not blame people but I find it helps to put myself in their shoes. For those of us where treatment didn't work, there is not a lot people can do and they feel hopeless and distraught.

Medical teams have tried with me for 25 years and I strongly defend them against people who attack doctors and nurses. They try their best but I just believe some of us are too broken to be fixed. Governments and pharmaceutical companies are to blame, a customer on pills for life is better than someone who has recovered.

I'm not attacking doctors and nurses, I just reflected on the positivism they had just bc I survived also I stayed there for two days, they didn't treat my mental illness just my intoxication, my old psychiatrist and psychologist were amazing but I can't afford them anymore.

the hospital treatment was shitty, not all of them were terrible, but most of them went against ethics, science and even mocked me so yeah fuck them

shoved a tube into my nose without local anesthetic, lubrication, with full force and speed while holding me down, going completely against the way it's supposed to be done, thats just one of the traumas.