I'm afraid of pain

[seaquake]

I got my SN today and will get my meds later this week and I'm so scared that I'll end up feeling pain, nausea or regret. even though I genuinely want to die.

Any solutions? Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[ForeverCaHa]

I think fear of all of those things and more is natural. I have my SN + the meds + a hotel booking, and part of me is scared of possible pain. Based on testimonies it seems this method is more uncomfortable than painful, but the fact of the matter is that we won't know until it's happening. It's something we have to be prepared for.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Yeah, me too. And yes, I feel the same way. The benzos should take care of that fear a good bit. And just remember it is a profoundly peaceful way to die compared to most ways people go out. A small headache and some nausea. I've had worse flu seasons. This is nothing.

For me, those emotions are strong, too, right. I'm figuring that I'll try to counter them with equally strong emotions for the method. As in, I'm going to use anger and rage to try to counter-fuel the SI emotions. Rage at my father for sexually abusing me for all these years. Rage at my family for helping to push me into this corner. Rage at the world for having given me these shitty cards. Rage against my own impulses to save my own worthless skin. Rage against the pussy-ass fear of pain.

For me. The answer is rage.

For regret, I'm done with this side of life. There's nothing left for me here. I want to see what is on the other side, whatever it is. It's a journey, an adventure to unknown places. We shed ourselves of this fruitless mortal coil in search for greater worlds, spiritual or otherwise, or perhaps just the peace of nothingness. There is nothing to regret, for me.

 

[rs929]

I don't know but I guess the SI kicking in after you drink the SN shouldn't be easy to handle, specially if you're feeling discomfort.
If God exists I'd really want him to give you another opportunity in life.

 

[zappynomore]

Impossible not to feel that way though I think you should be good though with Benzos etc.

 

[seaquake]

Well... if he exists, he won't help me next week I'll probably CTB anyway