Im a shitty miserable being and dont deserve to live

[DeadSpace666]

I'm miserable and I feel like I make my husband miserable.. he blames me for everything and is hateful to me. He cheated on me years ago and I still haven't forgave him and I make snide remarks about it then he blows up on me. I feel like I just bring him down and when something bad happens I'm the one blamed. Yesterday my car got flooded and he was driving yet I was blamed because he had to drive downtown new Orleans to take me to work. I make nothing but bad decisions and the world would be better if I was dead. My kids would be better without me. I want to order SN and end my misery. Everyday is living hell to me and I wish i didn't bring kids in the world to let them down when i CTB . Sorry for the rant I'm alone at the bar and he kicked me out..

 

[Mr2005]

Shitty miserable beings don't feel bad about it

 

[DeadSpace666]

Shitty miserable beings don't feel bad about it

It eats me up inside I hate the way I am I hate my anxiety and depression . I've always been pessimistic that's all I've ever known since my childhood

 

[ghostgirl1995]

I relate to you! :( I feel like everything I do is a mistake.

 

[DeadSpace666]

I relate to you! :( I feel like everything I do is a mistake.

Sorry you feel that way:( I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If you need someone to talk to I'm here .

 

[Mr2005]

I'm not that optimistic myself but I want to be. We all need hope. Sounds like you're not really sure who to blame. It's a bit like that in my relationship. Sometimes no ones to blame. We do our best and it just isn't good enough

 

[DeadSpace666]

I'm not that optimistic myself but I want to be. We all need hope. Sounds like you're not really sure who to blame. It's a bit like that in my relationship. Sometimes no ones to blame. We do our best and it just isn't good enough

Yes I want to be also. My mother has always had major depression and was pessimistic and rarely had anything positive to say and that really fucked me up as a kid and being abused. My husband on the other hand grew up with the ideal good family so he doesn't understand how fucked up I really am and I feel like he doesn't have the patience to deal with it.. maybe were not meant to be together

 

[Mr2005]

I know how you feel. I really do

 

[Darksektori]

Yes I want to be also. My mother has always had major depression and was pessimistic and rarely had anything positive to say and that really fucked me up as a kid and being abused. My husband on the other hand grew up with the ideal good family so he doesn't understand how fucked up I really am and I feel like he doesn't have the patience to deal with it.. maybe were not meant to be together

This world is just...wrong that's just the hard reality of it. Why people choose to endure this hell defies logic. I'm sorry about your pain, the hell with him, let him live his miserable existence I hope you find your peace and an end to your pain.

 

[Mr2005]

This world is just...wrong that's just the hard reality of it. Why people choose to endure this hell defies logic. I'm sorry about your pain, the hell with him, let him live his miserable existence I hope you find your peace and an end to your pain.

What do you mean by that? What do you thinks wrong with the world? You could say what's wrong with it is that people don't really care about it. You could say what's wrong is wishing people dead

 

[kaz]

I'm sorry you feel that way, I also think that I've spent a good part of my life making the wrong decisions, and this, the past, is something we can't fix

 

[Muirthemne]

TBH it sounds like your husband is mistreating you way more than the other way around.

 

[SpinTop555]

I relate to wishing I hadn't brought another being into this world. It is the biggest moral dilemma, not wanting to suffer anymore but also not wanting to cause suffering. My mind says it is for the best that is leave, then I am plagued with guilt that I might damage my child. I then worry that staying will cause damage as well. I just wish someone or something would take the decision out of my hands and kill me. Soon.