I'm a monster for abandoning my wife and unborn child, but I can't tolerate the pain any more.

[radicalfreedom]

My wife is 3 months pregant. I thought I could hold it together. Support her. After my last attempt, she almost left me and I let her come back, put her back at risk of loosing me all over.

And yet, all of that isn't enough to stop me. This isn't a world worth living in. I regret trying to have a kid. I regret getring married, so I could hurt someone. I regret not eating a bullet two years ago. But... no time time like the present. A world of violence and hate is just not something I can take any more.

 

[ImTelling]

You're going to get a lot of harsh opinions about your situation on this forum. There's a lot of people here who think once you bring a child into this world you forfeit your right to CTB until that child is an adult.

I don't know if these words are cold comfort but there is a chance that having a child and caring for it could bring some meaning into your life, that yes it is a massive responsibility, you could live for your baby and not for yourself.

This is a fucked up situation but a lot of people here are parents in similar situations, so you aren't alone with that. I think if you try to find a support group or even confide in others in your situation here then it could relieve the burden somewhat.

Good luck.

 

[divinemistress36]

Try to hold on longer for the kids sake

 

[DoubleUp8]

Life is harder than ever in the 21st century with everything being so expensive and just becoming more so. Really easy to get overwhelmed by the responsibility of a child. But if you're going to ctb, take out a life insurance policy with your wife and child the beneficiaries. Hopefully you can get 1 with a double indemnity suicide clause. That might be unrealistic. Insurance companies may not want to but at least find 1 that will pay out regardless of manner of death. This way you can feel you are doing something to help them. Makes it seem less narcissistic anyway. I know that sounds callous but it's practical.

 

[kindalone]

It's kinda funny how you talk about the world being full of violence and hate, yet you bring a child into said world. You can't even endure it yourself and now you plan on abandoning your child and wife. I guess what's done is done. You should take full responsibility for the child and fight through it. If you're not going to, at least give your wife a heads up so she can look for someone who is more dependable while you sort your shit out. You're suffering is valid, but so is theirs. Cushion the fall as much as you can. That's the least you can do.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

At least wait for the child to be born. The stress of you ctbing could cause a miscarriage.

 

[KillMeh]

You're a piece of shit yeah, but also what was she thinking. Poor child ffs. I dont even know, living for a child is not it imo, my parents did that to me and Id rather I was an orphan, feeling like a character development prop.
Your child will hate you probs, so I say do whatever you wanna do. Being a parent out of some obligation is yucky. I do hope something changes in you, youd have to really hurry up, work hard on yourself. What a world

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Is it too late for an abortion?

 

[cosmic_traveler]

My wife is 3 months pregant. I thought I could hold it together. Support her. After my last attempt, she almost left me and I let her come back, put her back at risk of loosing me all over.

And yet, all of that isn't enough to stop me. This isn't a world worth living in. I regret trying to have a kid. I regret getring married, so I could hurt someone. I regret not eating a bullet two years ago. But... no time time like the present. A world of violence and hate is just not something I can take any more.

First, you are not a monster. You're an imperfect human just like the rest of us, that makes you beautiful. Secondly, we all have regrets, that's human nature. Lastly, you do you friend.

We wish you peace.
Be well on your journey.

 

[set0553]

Gotta do right for the kid tho.. for my daughter, my wife and I weren't married yet, when she told me she was pregnant. At the time our relationship was really unstable, and we were on again, off again. My dad said to me, I had 2 choices. Either be a man and take responsibility, or take the easy way out, and just continue my destructive behavior.. if course I chose the harder, responsible way.. but I was hell bent I was gonna raise kids that were better than me, who would in turn change the world for the better. Glad I did! They turned out great considering..

 

[drained999]

i don't know you and maybe you have tried getting help but if you haven't please DO. you have an obligation as parent to be the best mentally and physically you can be. try to exhaust every options to get better.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If this world isn't worth living in then why bring a child into it? I'm sorry, but the minute you decided to have that kid was the minute you forfeited your right to die until they grow into an independent adult. You don't get to just call it quits now. I know this sounds harsh, but this is one of the rare times where I will say whole heartedly that suicide is indeed selfish. This self-pity bs isn't doing it for me.

Your child, your responsibility.

 

[LittleJem]

People may lambast me for saying this but you have not met this child yet. So many children grow up without a father in any case. You are not this child's sole carer. If you were I would also encourage you to stick around. Your wife has chosen to get pregnant with a suicidal man.

You might decide to stay around for longer. Try more meds, more drugs…you might get lucky. For so many of us on this forum nothing changes though - we only prolong our own agony.

 

[jbleakness]

Yeah I'd say you are definitely obligated to provide for the little one unfortunately.

Maybe just work mindlessly as much as possible and provide the most you can until the child grows up.

 

[22yrsandnowshesgone]

i am a father of 2 girls , been married for 22 years she is gone now. i am in such incredible amounts of pain man . Massive . but i cannot just leave because my kids they are 16 and 18 . it hurts them soo much . I have a friend who ctb, his daughter was 1 , his son 3 . now years later the daughter tried to ctb and the son is in jail for a stabbing during a bad drug deal . Believe i know right now it is hard, but if you can find strength to hold on just for them , you would not be a looser , or a fuck up or whatever you might think of yourself anymore. no u might not feel happy . but when a baby grabs your finger the first time , it is incredible . when your son or daughter look at you , and run to you so hard they smash their heads into you just because u came home , is an incredible feeling . Try friend , try hard . your young . experience the true rewards life has to offer before you leave too early to truly see all there is . I am not judging you brother . I just am 43 and have some perspective id like to share.

 

[Roseate]

First, you are not a monster. You're an imperfect human just like the rest of us, that makes you beautiful. Secondly, we all have regrets, that's human nature. Lastly, you do you friend.

We wish you peace.
Be well on your journey.

No offense but you don't get to regret it after. You don't have to be perfect but to abandon a child? You know how much trauma and paid they will go through? Majority of us here understands what it's like to have fucked up parent who caused us trauma, once you choose to bring a child into the world you have no other choice but to be your best. Sorry, but abandoning them does make him an asshole.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I will NOT advise you what to do, these are thoughts ONLY!

A DNA test has the potential to reveal the child is not really yours. You could be totally absolved of committing the greatest act of evil possible (procreation) and die happy.
I know it's a rough-sounding consideration, but it sounds like you're already dealing with some harsh stuff. The truth could set you free if it's true. Is abortion a possibility? Please think of the horrendous hellish suffering this child is gonna live thru if it is yours and you don't save their soul from this evil.

That said, if you let the child be born and it is yours, it's still your life and choice. I would personally feel considerable guilt and live to make the child's life as good as possible. Plenty of evil disgusting people are pumping out dozens of little demons with mostly dark3 DNA and not taking care or bothering with it, but still living kick ass social media influencer narcissistic best lives. Just leaving the world and their children in a much shittier place and increasing the overall percentage of naturally evil humans (natural selection). Your evil barely registers as a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme. After all, the universe doesn't give a fuck about any of us, so it's ultimately your choice what to do with your gift of life.

 

[juna]

I would say abortion would be the best for the kid. Growing up with parents who aren't mentally healthy is a bad childhood and in turn, a bad life.

Give a heads up to the wife, let her know how you feel and the rest is her decision. Y'all should have tried to restrain from getting pregnant when circumstances were not favourable but too late now.
It is difficult to live for someone else's sake and not a life worth living. You are not selfish for feeling this way and abandoning your family, mental health is difficult to cope up with, pain is real but try to do the best for them, they are your responsibility.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I would say abortion would be the best for the kid. Growing up with parents who aren't mentally healthy is a bad childhood and in turn, a bad life.

Give a heads up to the wife, let her know how you feel and the rest is her decision. Y'all should have tried to restrain from getting pregnant when circumstances were not favourable but too late now.
It is difficult to live for someone else's sake and not a life worth living. You are not selfish for feeling this way and abandoning your family, mental health is difficult to cope up with, pain is real but try to do the best for them, they are your responsibility.

OP doesn't say his wife have mental health problems. Besides that, an abortion isn't possible if she's 3 months along. No doctor will do that unless for severe medical reasons.


OP. Yes, harsh, but you chose to put this unborn little one on this planet. I personally think that it's your ( and your wife's) responsibility to raise them.