Venting I'm a fuck up

[NightmareTour]

Well, I ended up sleeping with my ex. We were both pretty drunk and high, and she told me she had broken up with her partner, but I wasn't completely certain. I did it anyway. She finally seemed really happy, back with the person I'd kept her away from. It'll be the second time now that I've fucked up their chance of happiness together, the first being when I got in the way while they were having issues last time. If I'd just kept away and let them sort it out between them, they would have been fine.

"I'm poison. I come from poison. and I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That's my legacy."

That sums it all up pretty well. Even when I've thought I was making good decisions, I just ended up being selfish and fucking things up for everyone else in the long run. I'd really like to believe that I can be better, but I think it's just a part of who I am. I can't stop making bad decisions, doing bad things. All because I'm chasing after my own unattainable dream of happiness, and end up making everyone else suffer for it.

 

[GoBack]

But she was there too? Her decision as well

 

[Arrow]

I can't stop making bad decisions, doing bad things.

pretty relatable, that one.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Honey, she's an adult n just as responsible, if not more..
Ur single. She was the one that was in a relationship. If anything, she should have stopped it..Not u..

Imho, u did absolutely nothing "wrong"♡..U had sex with someone u love(d).

AND, YOU can't fuck up her happiness with her new man. She did that. Periodt.

EDIT: AND she told u that they were broken up! U don't have to be "sure" about that! U just took her word..NOTHING wrong in that baby..

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You didn't fuck up her relationship, she did. It's hers to protect and nurture. If she doesn't do that, certainly no one else can do it for her. If you have issues respecting her boundaries, then that's on you, but what she does with it is on her. You didn't walk in her unlocked house and steal things she didn't protect, she willingly slept with you, and it sounds like she lied about the status of that relationship, you know her well enough to know when she's lying and bullshitting. If anything, she was the manipulator here unless you're leaving something out.

In my lived experience, once a cheater always a cheater. I don't like to reduce people to such things, but I've never seen that turn out differently, unless the cheater simply gets too old and sick to keep cheating.

 

[NightmareTour]

She was in a bad place, on MDMA, drunk, (for clarification, as was I, I wouldn't sleep with anyone who's taken anything if I was sober) and making impulsive and regrettable decisions. I did it anyway. She wouldn't usually do anything like that, she thinks cheaters are absolutely awful people. If I hadn't have done it, nothing would have happened and everything would have been fine.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

She was in a bad place, on MDMA, drunk, (for clarification, as was I, I wouldn't sleep with anyone who's taken anything if I was sober) and making impulsive and regrettable decisions. I did it anyway. She wouldn't usually do anything like that, she thinks cheaters are absolutely awful people. If I hadn't have done it, nothing would have happened and everything would have been fine.

If she hadn't taken MDMA and drank, nothing would have happened and everything would have been fine.

Did you ply her with them when she didn't want to do them?

 

[NightmareTour]

Okay, so I found out that the "partner" has started being abusive again, and is the only one saying that they haven't split. That's not so bad, I guess...