Venting im a failure

[olivetreerot]

I got ready to jump infront of the train that i take to work everyday but i couldnt, seeing this giant metal fucking thing just rolling at me made my heart beat like crazy and i felt like my whole body went numb just thinking about it
i need another way to kill myself
please help me find another way i cannot live feeling like such a failure anymore

 

[Someone123]

I'm glad you didn't try the train method- when it goes wrong, it can be really bad. I hope you can find another method for peace here or possibly a path to recovery if this seems like an option for you.

 

[olivetreerot]

I'm glad you didn't try the train method- when it goes wrong, it can be really bad. I hope you can find another method for peace here or possibly a path to recovery if this seems like an option for you.

I was also very worried about that method going wrong im scared and thats why i was hoping someone else could help me find another method

 

[Someone123]

I was also very worried about that method going wrong im scared and thats why i was hoping someone else could help me find another method

The thing is that there are legal issues if people guide you on this, it's actaully against the rules of the site to encourage acts for this reason. So to keep the site and individuals out of trouble people need to explore this some on their own. People then sometimes dicuss their tho0ughts on individual methods. But if you do choose to ctb you do reaklly need to lead the way to finding the best method for yu and ytour situation.

 

[whywere]

1st off, you are NOT a failure EVER. After rereading your post/message multiple times, I truly came away with a strong sense that you are a very intelligent, caring and kind person.

2nd, your body going numb is in a sense, your entire being knowing that you have so much not only to give and do for yourself, but all of humanity. I have had 2 attempts, been there, done that twice, and with my experience, my mind strongly said to me that you are SOMEONE and someone with a greater purpose.

I have no issues with ctb at all, BUT it is one and one forever and with that said, like with me, after my 2nd attempt, I found SS, all the fantastic souls here, family to me and now I truly have a goal of helping folks, no matter the outcome.

I have been where you are and I wish you all the best, as far as please message me anytime, as you are family to/for me and you are a precious person, hands down.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, caring and well wishes, and blue sunny skies to enjoy.

Walter

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

You're no failure friend. Don't be too hard on yourself. I can tell you truthfully that even at the deepest levels of depression, there's no way I'd be able to jump in front of a train. That seems terrifying.

I know you're suffering, and I don't mean to diminish that in any way, but I for one am glad you're ok and still here.
I wish you the best

 

[FuneralCry]

The train really does sound like an awful, terrifying method to me and of course it certainly sounds difficult to go through with. I would also fear it going wrong as well, it's horrific how sometimes suicide attempts just lead to people ending up with damage and suffering more, but I do envy those who had the courage for it though. I hate the fact how suicide is this hard for us, existence is so prison like when we have to suffer so much in trying to find ways to leave and it simply shouldn't be so difficult.

I do understand that it can be so horrible feeling so trapped here, the fact that suicide is so inaccessible for me personally is the only reason as to why I still exist. But I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.