Venting I'll Never Really Understand

[hikikomorizombie]

thx to u/breezeboy for reminding me to make sure i find a clear spot to land on my 2nd test run<3 i was able to find 1. unfortunately there was an event going on downtown that made the surrounding area fairly filled w ppl, & i'm not kms in front of an audience. that's why i always wait till the dead of night. heh. no pun intended.

so once again my test run stays a test run, & once again i'm aggravated by the complications of kys. all the things that need to align justttt right. imagine how much easier it'd be if society wasn't foolish & didn't constantly try to criminalize suicide. it's not weak, it takes an unknown amt of strength. it's not selfish (usually), some1's been in mental anguish for yrs, & that's the best they can say?? it's not stupid, suicide is a major decision that's hardly ever made on just a whim.

i think of all the ppl that're veggies somewhere rn, stuck in an even worse state than the 1 they originally tried to leave, & how their suffering wouldn't have been prolonged horribly if we actually had sure options. why don't we take the same approach to the suicidal that we do to addicts?? harm reduction right, 'if they're gonna hurt themselves might as well make sure they do it as safely as possible'? ik we'll never get smthg like that, & ik i'll just have to suck it up & fling myself off that building, but man if it isn't infuriating to think about.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly disgusts me how humans do all they can to make suicide so inaccessible, it's hellish and cruel how we cannot have the option to easily die in peace especially as we never consented to existing in this hellish world filled with endless suffering. Trying to die going wrong is exactly what I'd fear and is what sounds so horrifying to me, it disturbs me how humans lack the compassion to allow those people to leave peacefully, it's very disturbing how they wish to prolong the suffering of others no matter what.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

it disturbs me how humans lack the compassion to allow those people to leave peacefully, how they prolong the suffering of others.

yes!!!! this is the perfect sentence. they somehow think that by forcing ppl to stay alive & continue to suffer, they're being kind??

 

[dynastickitten]

i think of all the ppl that're veggies somewhere rn, stuck in an even worse state than the 1 they originally tried to leave, & how their suffering wouldn't have been prolonged horribly if we actually had sure options. why don't we take the same approach to the suicidal that we do to addicts?? harm reduction right, 'if they're gonna hurt themselves might as well make sure they do it as safely as possible'? ik we'll never get smthg like that, & ik i'll just have to suck it up & fling myself off that building, but man if it isn't infuriating to think about.

During one of my stints doing nursing, I worked in a long term care and rehab facility and took care of this one guy who had tried to end his life and had only been successful in harming himself. He was young comparatively, 30s or 40s maybe and, in his efforts, had more or less made himself into a paraplegic with some mobility in one of his arms. He sat in that bed all day getting turned and repositioned and watched movies on repeat with a brain that was almost fully functioning. It had to have been torture. There was no chance for rehabilitation either.

He didn't even go for a method with a lot of room for failure like OD-ing or hanging. He fully shot himself on the Forth of July.

I think about him a lot. Stay safe out there y'all

 

[hikikomorizombie]

He didn't even go for a method with a lot of room for failure like OD-ing or hanging. He fully shot himself on the Forth of July.

my god. horrible. i alwayssss think abt gunshot & jumping survivors. it's terrifying to know that kys really is a gamble, every time. there's always that 1 in a mill case, & it could be u. *shivers*. i'm surprised he didn't have a DNR.

 

[dynastickitten]

my god. horrible. i alwayssss think abt gunshot & jumping survivors. it's terrifying to know that kys really is a gamble, every time. there's always that 1 in a mill case, & it could be u. *shivers*. i'm surprised he didn't have a DNR.

Doesn't seem like he planned to fail. Can't blame him. A bullet always seems like the most sure way out, but really any method you choose isn't a guarantee.

I've worked in hospice, got up close and personal with those medically guaranteed to die in a certain amount of time, and watched them get taken off hospice despite their fatal afflictions and live for years more to come.

For how much of a risk it seems to be with every little thing, death really can be a slippery fucking bastard