Story Ignorance truly is bliss

[PursuitofWonder]

Last night I took a high dose of a Dissociative anesthetic. For about an hour, I was so out there that I truly couldn't figure out wether I was alive or dead. Nothing seemed real and yet it also felt like it was truly there. I thought for a long time on wether I was actually a thing that existed or if I had in fact passed away. This period of time in the was the first time that I didn't think about suicide in years. Ignorance is really bliss, if only I could live everyday like that.

 

[Neowise]

Several years back when I still went to school I took the schoolbus every day, and it used to be quite packed with kids so I had to stand most of the time. One day I overheard a part of a conversation between 2-3 girls standing next to me, and one of them said to her friends with glee in her voice: "... and I'm waking up in the morning, full of anticipation for the next day ...". This is a sentence that hasn't let go of me since. How do people wake up and feel happy for the next day that awaits them?

I envy those that live a happy life and can't imagine what having depression for more than 4 days feels like. Loving parents, lots of friends, good marks... and just enjoying life to its fullest. From my perspective as a perma-depressed scrub I feel like those people are naive, but I envy it. I want to have this naiveté.

 

[issyishere]

I miss being a child. So naive about the world. Taking everything at face value. My life being structured. Getting excited for 20 dollars. As I grew older my enthusiasm for life slowly chipped away and got replaced with dread of what's to come. Wish I could go back living in ignorance. Being unaware of how shitty life really is.