If you've ever been suicidal you'll always remain one?

[Bianka]

Is it kinda the same like alcoholism or having an ED in a sense that no matter what happens to you, how "you got better" and all that it will be always at the back of your mind? (I know these are very different and bad examples but that's what I have experience with ) Can you ever love life after seriously considering ending it?

 

[Malaria]

I've been dealing with suicidal ideation for about 17 years now. I don't know about others, but mine probably isn't going away. Even when I'm having a good day, in the back of my mind I'm always thinking I wish I was never born.

 

[MrShino]

No, definitively not. There are plenty examples of people who stopped being suicidal and started loving life. It's absolutely possible. For some it may be something that lingers in the back of the mind through many years though.

 

[_Broken_alice]

In our experience the thoughts never really go away for us even if things get better for a while. One tiny slip and they are right back. They aren't always as intense though. YMMV. In our case, life never has been really good, just less bad at times. We have also been passively suicidal since early childhood so the thoughts are kinda always there. They transitioned from passive to more active starting at around 13yo. It got so much worse after our unfortunately failed attempt at 16yo.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Suicidal thoughts are just thoughts when they first appear. We have thoughts about many things every day and what we think and do every day is kinda "burnt" into our brains after a while. It's hard and can become impossible to break up such loops of the way we think and how we react to things happening to us.

There are so many different situations and health / genetics that can result in suicidality. In the rare cases when all circumstances can be totally changed it may be possible to not be suicidal again but the experience of being suicidal will remain saved in our brains. Unfortunately our brains don't have a format button.

I hope my thoughts about this aren't too weird.

 

[divinemistress87]

Clinical depression is for life. There's people that go through situational depression which Is totally different

 

[UKscotty]

Depression never goes away but it can be managed. I don't think the thoughts will ever go away, at least not in my experience.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I would say it depends on how long you've been suicidal. If over 10 years I don't think it's possible to completely recover. It will only take a few triggers and then you're thinking about suicide again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't know but- not me definitely. I've had ideation since I was 10 and, the thoughts never went away. (I'm 44 now.)

Probably depends on how you feel about suicide itself and how you experienced ideation. If it was random. If the thoughts frighten someone and they know it's not like them at all to even consider something like that- I imagine they make more effort to banish them to begin with and then maybe chalk it down to a period of high stress or something.

I think most people here have done the metal gymnastics to decide that they are pro-choice. That suicude is a legitimate option for them. Once that has been ascertained- I think it's always going to be there as an option.

Ultimately though- I think it's almost like an addiction. You need to want to quit thinking like that. Otherwise, I don't think you will. And- why would you quit thinking like that if you don't see anything wrong with it?

 

[xmissellax]

I've been dealing with suicidal ideation for about 17 years now. I don't know about others, but mine probably isn't going away. Even when I'm having a good day, in the back of my mind I'm always thinking I wish I was never born.

Gosh, I could have written this word for word. I'm so sorry you feel like this too.
For me, I don't think my suicidal ideation will ever go away. I've had it since I was 11 and I'm nearly 30 now. I can't believe I've even made it this far to be honest.

 

[26mmmm]

Is it kinda the same like alcoholism or having an ED in a sense that no matter what happens to you, how "you got better" and all that it will be always at the back of your mind? (I know these are very different and bad examples but that's what I have experience with ) Can you ever love life after seriously considering ending it?

No. I've started being suicidal a couple of years ago, and I still am but I've had a decent period in between where I wasn't since I thought my life was improving.

I guess some people will always be suicidal regardless of their life conditions since the problem is within, but that doesn't mean it cant be improved.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm suicidal since age 8, I'm 21 now, i think it will never end.

 

[Doemu]

I think that yes. Almost for me. And having previous attempts make more sure about it.

 

[26mmmm]

Yes. No hope in anything. Anyone on this site would tell you the same shit. Having hope or goals is delusional. If you're suicidal, then thinking of another option but suicide is delusional too. I hope I fucking do it today. I've been beating my head for self-harm since I was like 10 or so. Nowadays I hit myself in the head a couple dozen times every day. If you're mentally ill, there's no hope but suicide. Don't even bother disagreeing, everyone on this site thinks the same shit too.

Almost everyone in this site is delusional and you are too. Recovery is definitely possible.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

Almost everyone in this site is delusional and you are too. Recovery is definitely possible.

You clearly don't know a fucking thing then. Mental illness is instant gg and the only acceptable solution is suicide. That's it. Go to another website if you have a problem. Everyone here agrees, so it's true.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think once your mind considers suicide as a potential solution to whatever problem you may be facing, there's no going back. Even if that problem gets solved the option still exists and it's always waiting to be deployed. Much like when nuclear bombs were invented we can't go back to a world without them and neither can a mind go back to not being able to consider it. Oh sure your mind can come up with all sorts of safety measures and peace treaties and maybe some people even create ironclad reasons to never consider this option again. But for many who have this choice cross their mind, there's no going back unless someone finds a way to never experience any sort of trouble or trauma ever again for the rest of their lives.

 

[26mmmm]

I think once your mind considers suicide as a potential solution to whatever problem you may be facing, there's no going back. Even if that problem gets solved the option still exists and it's always waiting to be deployed. Much like when nuclear bombs were invented we can't go back to a world without them and neither can a mind go back to not being able to consider it. Oh sure your mind can come up with all sorts of safety measures and peace treaties and maybe some people even create ironclad reasons to never consider this option again. But for many who have this choice cross their mind, there's no going back unless someone finds a way to never experience any sort of trouble or trauma ever again for the rest of their lives.

That's true, the option might always be there but you can stop being suicidal if you don't need to have that option, if you recover, if your life gets better.

 

[strangelife]

I think it depends on the reasons, if I could cure the disease, then thoughts about ctb would disappear. Because before I got sick, I never had such thoughts and I had a good and successful life.
Now I'm serious about ctb, I bought sn and all the drugs, if it weren't for worries about my loved ones, nothing would have stopped me now

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

That's true, the option might always be there but you can stop being suicidal if you don't need to have that option, if you recover, if your life gets better.

Sure, but recovery isn't a guarantee that life can't get worse ever again. That's the annoying thing about it is that it doesn't seem to be permanent.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I mean, people have recovered and are living good lives. Of course, unlike what society likes to insinuate, recovery isn't possible for everybody but it is possible for some people. Who knows, it's even possible that a failed suicide attempt could be the thing that helps some people recover. After all, survival instinct is strong and it could be the catalyst that helps someone to recover. That said, you absolutely shouldn't induce a failed suicide attempt; I'm just giving an example of how some people may recover.

Though, in truth, a lot of people have probably recovered by other means. For example, if their problems are ones that can be solved (e.g. financial and relationship issues), and their problems, which link to their suicidal ideation, have been solved, then they wouldn't feel suicidal anymore unless if something else were to occur

Sure, but recovery isn't a guarantee that life can't get worse ever again. That's the annoying thing about it is that it doesn't seem to be permanent.

This is true. Recovery has a chance to not work permanently whereas death will always be permanent no matter what you do

 

[Macc_Lad_71]

Is it kinda the same like alcoholism or having an ED in a sense that no matter what happens to you, how "you got better" and all that it will be always at the back of your mind? (I know these are very different and bad examples but that's what I have experience with ) Can you ever love life after seriously considering ending it?

i'm "ok" with life atm......i don't think about suicide.....just now and then!

 

[rozeske]

I don't think the thoughts ever completely go away. Mine never did, it just kept getting bigger and bigger. That said, it's possible things in your life could change or get better enough for you to manage and keep your thoughts at the far back of your head.

 

[dreamscape1111]

Can you ever love life after seriously considering ending it?

It has only increased my love of life by coming to terms with mortality and facing all of my own bullshit to get out of that depression.

I think before one develops a mature relationship to death, you're just sleep walking through life, not appreciating the miracle that it is.

So yes, both suicidal thoughts and ED, can pass, given that you're willing to do the inner work necessary. (Speaking from experience. ED most often is caused by overconsumption of porn, in which case it's called "porn-induced-ed. But once you quit it and get together with a partner, all that can change)

Tl:dr It's up to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I at least know in my case I could never be delusional enough to wish to decay from age in this futile existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel. So I'd say yes, for me wanting to die is simply being aware of how truly undesirable existence is, the ultimate problem will always lie in existence itself. I see suicide as rational to avoid suffering in this existence that was always pointless and meaningless in the first place.

 

[lixt]

It is important to note that people here tend to have suicidal thoughts. So the information whatever depression or suicide goes really away may be biased (in my opinion, please don't judge me). It is possible to diminish those symptoms until they go away. The memories about suicide, may fade away, slowly. So it is possible to do a full recovery. ig

 

[Circles]

All I know is that once you've touched the bottom of the abyss it truly is hard to climb back up. The darkness consumes you and what's left is a shell of who you once were trying not to drown.

 

[sserafim]

The thing I find different about suicide though is that it's about death, which will eventually happen to everyone. Not everyone drinks alcohol, becomes an alcoholic or develops an ED, but the sad truth is that everyone will die, that's just how it is.

Sure, it's different if you die at your own hand than of natural causes, but everyone dies whether they want to or not, it's the eventual fate of every living thing. Even the people who love life the most will eventually die, even against their will. Death is just an inevitable part of life, we were born to die.

 

[Echo]

I've had periods in life where I have been happier and not suicidal, there was a big gap of about 7 years where I felt good. I do think recovery is possible for some people.

 

[woh6]

I think it depends on the person and situation. For me, I will always remain suicidal