Discussion “If you’re worried about your family being hurt, you have a reason to stay”

[nyapoka]

fucking Christ. Like yeah I get the point when people say this but I need a reason for *me*. the misery of living miserable simply for someone else's sake sucks.

 

[nomoredolor]

I either have to choose my suffering or theirs. It's fucking whack

Anna

 

[nyapoka]

I either have to choose my suffering or theirs. It's fucking whack

Anna

and when people guilt you for considering putting family through suffering
Like fuck leave me alone

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

*laughs in actively wanting them to suffer*

 

[Sutter]

Twinkle.

Agree. Manipulative phrases does not a life save. Never saw a bunch of jack rabbits talk fluffy foot off the cutting edge of nights curtains that way.

Could be totally smokin crack with the field mice but it is my view that a person stays for themselves or goes.

Most don't engage with invisible others. There is a presence in a person, their looks, speech, mannerisms, awesome plumage. There is something experienced that is unique to them. All that is them, inside them. If someone is going to make it, they are going to be the ones to do it.

Can understand the delay tactic by that phrase. Trying to get a moment to pass and the world to turn again but it seems disingenuous and is often viewed that way. May act like a whip smart rubber band and leave a welt on the speakers face.

Resilience is a solo journey at heart. There is no shortcut, it's flat out grueling. Resilience is not just living, it's also dieing.

Could have said the same words to a dog long ago. Didn't as seemed disrespectful for a life spent with each other. He only understood a warm hand in his fur and a soft good boy now. A touch and phrase that meant sense in his world with a man that stayed by his side till last beat of life and three more breaths of my own.

I'd say leave the phrase. Respect and love the twinkle in a soul, offer an easy hand with a soft word. Let them find themselves here or not.

Probably better off asking "How much of the ocean is fish pee and if we dyed the water what color would the ocean be?" Leaking a little tinkle to help with interior twinkle @nyapoka

 

[areyousafe??]

It's been my reason for so long, but it's starting to hold less value. I don't speak to my dad, there's too much anger there. My sister would honestly not give a fuck if I died. I'm still here for 2 people who will undoubtedly be upset if I suicided, not because they "love" me but because there goes the hope of someone looking after them when they get old. Their retirement investment has gone.

 

[danny10]

I always worry about family to be hurt by my CTB. I have a 1 year old daughter, a wife, mother and father whom I love deeply and I know it would hurt for them if I CTB. Hence, I live on for their sake but I am in pain all the time, thinging about CTB. I feel very shameful that I want to CTB, despite that I have a 1 year old daughter. Right now I am living on because of her. But how long can I keep going? How long do I have to put their happinness in front of my suffering? Should I feel shameful for wanting to CTB? I am not sure really. I am not sure what to do...

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

People who say this stuff never look at the other side, either. Sure, it's a bit messed up to take your life when you have people who care about you, but isn't it also messed up to force someone to spend their life in misery because them ending things would hurt your feelings? But they never bring up the other point, it's easier just to blame the suicidal person for making them feel uncomfortable than actually think about things like this, I guess.

 

[Richard Langford]

I suppose it depends upon (1) in how high esteem you hold your family and (2) how much you perceive it would impact them to some considerable degree.

 

[Forever Sleep]

So basically, emotional blackmail. Maybe true and personally felt by a lot of people here (including me) but pretty unkind really. Nevermind about your pain, live entitey not to inconvenience/ upset them.

I wonder if they'd accept a parallel argument supporting antinatilism. If you don't want your child to (likely) witness death- both yours and others. If you don't want to put them through the (likely) pain and fear of their own death- you have a reason not to birth them into this world to begin with. They 100% will experience those things. They'll very possibly struggle with them as greatly as you might if they (choose to) go first.

Why is it considered unselfish and ok to initiate another person's life which will be full of risk and end in (possibly) painful and frightening death. Yet, it's considered selfish for a person to say- 'I can't cope with this anymore. You're going to have to let me go' and choose to end their own life?

I'd like them to admit that they don't in fact give us life as a gift to be enjoyed. They may hope it turns out like that. Effectively though- it simply can't be a gift for most people. You don't just get bought it at birth and go on to enjoy it. It's a subscription servive that needs constant payments and it's incredibly problematic to unsubscribe. The onnus for that subscription falls on us for maybe 75% or upwards of our lives.

We're not born into freedom to enjoy life. We're born into a whole bunch of restrictive systems that we either comply to or, suffer negative consequences. So- as I see it, it simply isn't fair to bring a person here and expect them to thrive in this world. But, if they don't, continue to struggle on for those who brought them into this situation to begin with.

 

[Defenestration]

Very guilty

 

[platypus77]

Years ago a family member CTB'ed (firearms) while I was planning to do the same, obviously that stopped me from proceeding and the impact was heavy on the family.

But I'd say that most of the grieving was related to the surprise of the event and lack of explanation.

My plan is to leave a nice goodbye letter absolving everyone of any guilt and explain that I lived and experienced enough of life, the good and the bad, that I am in peace with my decision and nobody could do anything about it.

I lived and died by own terms as my wish.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I am worried about my family being hurt as I am against suffering so I'd be hating at how my death would be leaving a mess. It would be nice if my death wouldn't leave any mess at all but unfortunately such is the fate of being alive. Being alive means that you have to die one day and with death comes a lot of mess. There isn't anything I can do about this, existence itself is too fucked for this to be fixed. Nonetheless, I have to do what I have to do. It wouldn't be pleasant but I have to go through with this as I can't be living for others.

The only exception where I would be living for others is if euthanasia were to be legalised. In that case, I'd continue on living for my brother so that his childhood isn't experienced by dealing with the pain caused by me dying (unless if I were to get a condition that significantly decreases my quality of life). However, in a world where euthanasia is illegal and society is actively making sure that we stay alive for as long as possible, I'm sorry but I have to do this as my opportunity to ctb would reduce more and more the longer I live for. It isn't nice and I won't say that it is but I can't prolong my existence in a world like this