"If you're gonna kill yourself, do xyz first"

[lululoo]

You know how people will say, if you're going to kill yourself you have nothing to lose so you should travel/go live in Europe/go on a sex/drugs binge/go join a commune/go hike the Appalachian trail/some other crazy thing?

Well obviously it's bullshit for most suicidal people because often there is a reason doing those things would not make you happy or fix your problems.

But are there any things that you think are 1) feasible to do and 2) reasonable to try for at least some suicidal people? Feasible meaning a depressed person could pull it off. Reasonable meaning there is a possibility it could turn things around for the person and not just temporarily.

I think for me there are no things (too jaded, too depressed, too old, and have physical issues on top of mental), so I'm not really looking for ideas I would follow. But I'm just curious about people's thoughts. I personally do think that for some people there are options like this, that wouldn't be a guarantee but would be worth a gamble. For instance a depressed but physically healthy 23 year old who hates his job and has no friends but has some social skills. A change of scenery might be able to help him.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I'm a physically healthy 17 year old and I can't think of anything...

 

[sif]

I think what is feasible and reasonable depends on the circumstances and limits of the person, what that person might find to be worth dropping everything for, there is a lyric I like from the perspective of a suicidal persons friend "I'd rather buy you a one way nonstop to anywhere, find anyone, do anything, forget and start again love, she said she won't go, and that's that."

and that's how it tends to be. You get to this point where the slightest discomfort is not worth being alive for, where death is more desirable than even stepping outside your room and the only reason you do is because you have to get food...

Depends on your inhibitions, if you don't give a fuck about yourself or anything then anything is feasible and reasonable, make yourself homeless, jump on the back of a freight train and travel hundreds of miles with absolutely no plan in mind. The more hopeless, the more accepting of your imminent death, the crazier you can get with it.

but for the sake of maintaining possiblity of recovery? It's difficult, the world isn't suited to being able to just up and go somewhere else when you have nothing and no support.

 

[Sinbad]

Improving yourself! This can be done relatively cheaply.. Educating yourself to learn a new skill.. Going out and interact with people to improve your social skills. Improve your physical health by excercing and starting a healthy diet. Developing positive self talk.. Meditate etc

 

[lululoo]

Improving yourself! This can be done relatively cheaply.. Educating yourself to learn a new skill.. Going out and interact with people to improve your social skills. Improve your physical health by excercing and starting a healthy diet. Developing positive self talk.. Meditate etc

That sounds like standard advice given to depressed people, which they often have trouble following and which often doesn't work for the severely depressed or those lacking other supports. I tried all of that back when I was trying to get better. I'm thinking more of unusual last ditch effort type of things.

 

[Sinbad]

Searching for a sugar daddy, maybe?

 

[Floraknife]

Improving yourself! This can be done relatively cheaply.. Educating yourself to learn a new skill.. Going out and interact with people to improve your social skills. Improve your physical health by excercing and starting a healthy diet. Developing positive self talk.. Meditate etc

That might work if depressed people had the energy/motivation to do any of those things lolol

 

[Sinbad]

That might work if depressed people had the energy/motivation to do any of those things lolol

Most put in an effort to keep living. I don't think all depressed souls commit suicide.

 

[Floraknife]

Most put in an effort to keep living.
I am not of them tho.

Fair enough.
I tried to for a decade. No change in my mental state, so I have officially caved to the void. Weeeee

 

[Dog Food]

Doing stuff takes effort. I'd rather just lay in bed and hope my next binge/purge does me in.

 

[Misanthrope]

I wrote this for some one else and am too brain fried to amend accordingly. But it attempts to address your question. Make of it what you will.

-

I don't know what your exact situation is either so the suggestions that follow may well have already been tried. Obviously disregard them. None of what I say is magical cure for anything either, and is not meant that way. It is more like suggested weapons in an arsenal.

The problem with inpatient care is it is mostly a triage system, get em in, medicate them into being 'stabilized' then discharge them. It has little in the way of long term value. A private stay will likely cost you a lot in the end.

If you are willing to subject yourself to a hospital experience in pursuit of wellness you may as well subject yourself to other things that have better long term prospects and save hospitalisation as a last resort.

My first suggestion is to simply get a physical screening. Rule out any potential biological issues that may be impacting on your mood. Things like onset diabetes and thyroid issues, lack of various vitamins can also be pretty damaging to mood especially if you stay indoors most the time and eat crap because you are too depressed to do otherwise. All of it can manifest this way.

My other suggestion is to maybe look into a life coach. The reason I suggest this as it is a pretty unregulated field. There is less red tape to contend with. They are not in any formal position to medicate you either. They also have a tendency to focus on the whole of a person and are more proactive and practical about it. Being the motivation you may well not have and helping you get things done. It is also just beneficial to have someone in your corner you can build rapport with that is not driven by target culture. Sure you are paying for the privilege but that is just life.

The next thing I suggest will probably have you rolling your eyes and wanting to punch me in the face. Try and add some form of exercise if you can. Maybe using the life coach to push you to keep at it or maybe even your friend? Stow that fist a moment and let me explain. We live a very sedentary lifestyle these days, it is wholly unnatural to be shut away from sunlight living vicariously through screens. It is extremely damaging to us both mentally and physically. Provoking all sorts of causal links of depression and stroke and other illnesses. The mounting evidence on these connections is hard to ignore. If you want the studies on it I can dig them out.

This is just a personal anecdote, but I did take up swimming as a means to reduce the severity of depression and found it beneficial. At first it was unbelievably hard to motivate myself to do it. I had to break everything down into tiny tasks and just focus on each step one by one until eventually my swimming gear was packed and I was in the car. At first I just floated around wishing I was back in bed. By time I got out though I felt oddly refreshed. I got a friend involved to help me push to go even when I couldn't be bothered and to his credit he did that for me. As time wore on I was doing laps and at the end there was this great feeling that is hard to quantify. I can see why people can get addicted to exercise. I went from it being a brutal ordeal to make myself move enough to something I was excited for, it became a bit of a highlight to spend time with my friend and swim around and then feel good for it.

There are also studies on how that after effect is more effective at reducing depression than many pharmaceuticals with better long term outcomes that don't result in diabetes and liver issues.... Unlike pharmaceuticals there are no real side effects beyond possibly various aches or doing yourself some sort of injury. I understand it is an exceptionally hard thing to do when you can't even be bothered to get out of bed, but the gains can be worth it.

Finally it may be worth getting a therapist of some sort. You can get therapies within a psychiatric setting but they are often limited in scope and take on a group format. Meaning you can be crowded out by more demanding patients. Since hospital stays are not usually all that long you may not get much benefit from a short term approach. If you get your own you are setting the agenda. Not at the mercy of arbitrary limits of how many sessions you can have. If cost is an issue a lot of the larger providers train up students and you could request one of those. Further getting the price lowered by seeing if they accept a sliding scale.

This is my opinion only, but you are likely better served by a therapist that has some sort of evidence based approach. Instead of a therapist you just talk to as a cathartic release. Sure it is nice but it does not arm you with more specific tools that may better serve you in the long run.

I can only really wish you all the best in your journey in whatever form it takes. I wish people did not have to suffer this much in the first place. Death as a choice though is not going anywhere, so it is only logical to exhaust what is out there before ending all avenues of potential in this life for good.

(Sorry my brain is not with it enough to deal with comma placement, nor did I bother to directly cite sources but if you are interested in them I will provide them for you at a later date. Try and be gentle with yourself if you can, peace.)

 

[Circles]

Most put in an effort to keep living. I don't think all depressed souls commit suicide.

That's if they see the worth in keeping up with the effort. Or sometimes as with people like me who can't override the survival mechanism that keeps us trapped. Honestly if everyone was given the option of an easy way out I'm sure a lot would not hesitate.

 

[kkatt]

In terms of a bucket list. I kinda thought I might like to visit Nepal. Maybe take the train to Lhasa.
As for depression, i think something that can really help is understanding the basic functions of the brain and the chemistry involved. Perceiving this illness and the symptoms as a purely physical situation explains how things like exercise,music and creative arts can help.
It's also another good thing to just learn things(as others have said), about yourself or just anything new and interesting.