Discussion If your bad memories and associated feelings/regrets/repressed feelings can be magically erased, would you still want to ctb?

[todiefor]

If all your bad memories /experiences and their associated feelings can be magically erased, would you still want to ctb? Or could you face life again free from all regret and feeling of unworthiness etc and restart life anew?

 

[iLikeFrogs]

I think yes, there are a lot of bad things that have happened to me my brain simply locked out of my memories which still leave the "aftertaste". I might not remember the memories that cause me to feel the way I feel doesn't change that I still can feel the way they impact my daily living. So yeah, I probably would ctb even if my memories were erased

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Yes I believe nothing can fix me anymore as I tried everything I felt like.

 

[todiefor]

if I could have the memories of my abuse in the past year erased, I think it would go a long way in me being able to hold onto my sense of self and trust in myself and the world.

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

It would be gradual but they would eventually come back as I'd have to relearn how to navigate the world as someone who isn't suited for it (asd)

 

[fleshgarden]

I don't think I would.. a lot of my feelings come from cptsd and a lot of repeated trauma over the years.. which did cause major depression since I was young. I would probably not feel that hopeless anymore or useless or not important

 

[Cloud Busting]

Interesting question.



"Mother I've tried, please believe me. I'm doing the best that I can. I'm ashamed of the things I've been put through. I'm ashamed of the person I am."

-Ian Curtis

I have so many memories that haunt the shit out of me that replay from time to time. To be rid of them would be freeing.

Of course, I cannot be sure just as shitty- if not shittier- memories would replace them. I don't think partial amnesia would be the answer either. I always felt for Faye Valentine when she awoke from her coma. Lost time must be confusing.

 

[Klophy]

I believe my past has made me who I am today, if all that were to go? Something must change right?

Just wishful thinking probably, thinking that I won't end up in the same place. Thinking that I have actual potential and value.

Feels like it's all a crapshoot anyways, and have bad luck.

 

[Meteora]

Well, it s just very impossible. If these thoughts could be erased, what thoughts would I have then? Dont think I could avoid being hurt over and over again.

Yes I believe nothing can fix me anymore as I tried everything I felt like.

Same for me.

 

[Sagew0789]

Having the thought and memory suddenly erased will probably leave me wondering what happened, and instead of whatever I was struggling with, I'll start stressing over not being able to remember
In some way I guess im experiencing it when an event happens that upsets me I don't usually remember and I don't remember a lot of my childhood either. I know that things happened but I don't know what so I just end up in this cycle of "you have nothing to be upset about others have it way worse than you"

 

[Longwalk]

I've tried so hard to get through my life, changed myself over and over, struggled to get through situations of abuse and controlling abuse. Trying to just fit in and be happy. I am done trying. It hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am 56, alone, no job, no money and I am done struggling to get by.
You could take away my memories but I think I would still feel the same, I am done struggling through!

 

[Ashe]

I probably would still want to CTB because my issues stem from my fucked chemically imbalanced brain and not necessarily from past trauma's though those probably just add onto it because they just compound my desire to not exist even further.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I mean if it was complete tabula rasa then yeah I think I'd reconsider CTB. Current circumstances wouldnt change but I'd be a lot more open to trying to change things if I didn't have the previously repressed traumatic experiences at all. I'd feel a lot less hopeless probably. Even if it's still too late to go back and change things. It wouldnt be an emotional/mental weight anymore

 

[garrypallister99]

If all your bad memories /experiences and their associated feelings can be magically erased, would you still want to ctb? Or could you face life again free from all regret and feeling of unworthiness etc and restart life anew?

Would love to restart anew in completely different circumstances

 

[JoyLobo]

If all your bad memories /experiences and their associated feelings can be magically erased, would you still want to ctb? Or could you face life again free from all regret and feeling of unworthiness etc and restart life anew?

If the damage that has been done to me and my brain could be undone and I could be my real self again then yes.

 

[Duality]

If they were all erased I don't think I'd want to CTB anymore, however I am sure that I would still promote the principal of choice. People should be free to CTB whenever they want peacefully and with dignity, regardless of how they feel about the topic.

 

[catotoctb]

Yes, i would. I not just want to ctb because of the past but because the future too. I will keep failing because that is who i am and thinking about a failure future for myself want me to end my life now so that i don't suffer anymore.