Discussion If you love someone enough is that all that matters?

[Mr2005]

That's what girlfriend thinks and if she loses me she'll take that to mean I didn't. This is what she'll find hardest to live with

 

[Georgii]

For some love it's enough to keep them alive ,they center their lives around that person.
For some it works ..it's giving them a reason to stay alive, strenght to fight .
But for me it's not enough , I've stopped feeling this , in many ways .
I love them .. but that doesnt make it any bit easier for me , it's only torturing me .

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm in the same situation. My mom constantly says "no don't do this I love you it will kill me". I have suffered so many years staying alive purely for her. It's been miserable. I'm at the point where I still take her extreme grief and my husband's feelings into consideration...a crossroads. A lifetime of misery for others or Friday nally letting myself have long due peace. And it's taken years to get this was but I'm going with myself first and my own peace.

People always try to flip it around on us and say it's selfish to commit suicide what about me" or "since they killed themselves I guess they didn't love me". Well let's turn that around someone asking me at stay alive miserably just so they don't have to feel sad is selfish too, and in my case me killing myself didn't show that I didn't live them but I do love them enough to stop being a miserable burden everyday.

Love might be enough for some but now it's only a hindrance.

 

[AJ95]

Honestly it's an interesting question.

The only time in the last 10 years that I've been happy was when I was really truly, deeply in love with my first real boyfriend.

The love for him and the fact that he loved me despite everything wrong with me did actually sort of make the bad stuff not seem as massive.

Things didn't work out with him though, and I've never found anyone else I feel that way about :(

 

[WornOutLife]

For some love it's enough to keep them alive ,they center their lives around that person.
For some it works ..it's giving them a reason to stay alive, strenght to fight .
But for me it's not enough , I've stopped feeling this , in many ways .
I love them .. but that doesnt make it any bit easier for me , it's only torturing me .

I feel SO like this!

 

[degeneratewaste]

no. just love for someone else isn't enough. not for me, at least. I've been in love, deeply in love, but love does not solve all problems. love can't fix a chemical imbalance in your brain, or at least most of the time it can't.
I suppose if you love yourself, maybe it would be different. but if you love yourself, then you probably aren't suicidal in the first place...

 

[Ghost2211]

I can see how suicide would make those around the person feel unloved or not valuable enough to stay alive for. Sometimes love is enough and sometimes it's not....There are many kinds of love, and varying degrees of happiness or pain it brings.

 

[L I F E T O L O S E]

yes, but what would it be like to love?

 

[Lilacmoon]

I hoped love would be enough but in the end I'm here now, haha :< Makes it worse tbh, if I can't be stable for the one I love I don't deserve love at all.

 

[Mr2005]

The likes I give are that I concur not I like that you feel that way too

 

[Ardesevent]

I don't know. I've heard several people say that their lives are miserable, but they're going to stay alive for others. Friends, family, etc. I don't understand stuff like that at all.

 

[BPD Barbie]

It's a hard one. If you love someone it's like you will do anything for them, but there comes a point in my opinion where you have to be selfish and put your own needs and feelings first for once. I love my mother, but I can't keep living just for her sake.

 

[paroxyical]

I'm in the same situation. My mom constantly says "no don't do this I love you it will kill me". I have suffered so many years staying alive purely for her. It's been miserable. I'm at the point where I still take her extreme grief and my husband's feelings into consideration...a crossroads. A lifetime of misery for others or Friday nally letting myself have long due peace. And it's taken years to get this was but I'm going with myself first and my own peace.

People always try to flip it around on us and say it's selfish to commit suicide what about me" or "since they killed themselves I guess they didn't love me". Well let's turn that around someone asking me at stay alive miserably just so they don't have to feel sad is selfish too, and in my case me killing myself didn't show that I didn't live them but I do love them enough to stop being a miserable burden everyday.

Love might be enough for some but now it's only a hindrance.

i often doubt the whole "if you kill yourself i will have to as well" stuff unless the other person is already suicidal. cos otherwise, if as many people who claim it actually meant it, there would be multiple suicides for every person who dies young, by suicide or not. but there's not, people grieve and it hurts but 9 times out of 10 they can get over it

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The entire process of love is my last hope to staying alive so I hope so, though I understand how it can't always be that way for some people......

 

[Gnip]

No. From a conceptual perspective, I am fully convinced love is NOT enough.

I might as well toss the book "LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH," and concept out there, by the primary developer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (As great a psychiatrist as the now 99 year old Tim Beck is though, he is not as great a teacher or author on CBT as his student David "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" is, or his former collaborator Gary "Rapid Relief from Emotional Distress" Emery.):