If you had access to your preferred method right now, would you ctb?

[woofwag]

I have mine but need to do more prep. Personally I find the prep harder to get done than actually buying my method :p

 

[overmorrow]

yes, whatever works as long as I'm not here anymore

 

[AngelTear]

Yes

 

[Spite]

If I had a gun I'm like 80% sure I would be dead by the end of the year.

 

[scenecore fan]

Im pretty sure i'd be dead the same week i have my method ready tbh

 

[heyy]

Immediately

 

[aufrechtm7]

I keep telling myself there's one thing I need to do before that happens. I also want to do something nice for my dog so that she has a "good" lasting memory of me

 

[pelicanportal]

if i had it rn i would do it tomorrow noon. god let me daydream...

 

[Karrikin]

Even though I say I will, I'll never be sure until I actually get my hands on it. Sort of that "can't speak on it until I've lived it" thing. Even still, good chance I would if I had the means.

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

If I had a partner (still waiting to see if there's someone in my area) or could find someone to pay in the underworld to help me, I would be out of here.

For some reason I can't go out alone and I think it's largely because I feel like I have a big fear of screwing up with the method.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

My preferred method is a fairytale ending where I take one irreversible pill (with no side effects) & peacefully go to sleep never to wake again. I wouldn't take it immediately. But I would definitely keep it around for an easy way out. I'd probably drastically change in personality & character if I had the pill. It would be a very freeing since I could go at any moment whenever want to with nobody to stop me.

 

[walliwalli]

i'd need a couple more days to finalize arrangements, but yes. this would be great timing. i'm sad i didn't order earlier.

 

[yourlocalprotist]

It's not my time yet. Gotta give life a fair chance.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I wouldn't do it right away. I'd most likely wait until the middle/end of next year to CTB if I had access to my method.

 

[anomic]

If I had my preferred method right now I would probably wait for a window of time where nobody would hear me (most likely night time) and CTB.

I could also see myself delaying until some significant day like my bday or a holiday but other than that it'd be ASAP.

 

[dhk96]

I really wish I would. I don't have anything I would immensely regret not having experienced before I go because nothing is worth the pure peace and quiet of nonexistence.

But the procrastinator in me can't help but taunt the dumb and cowardly me.

 

[SufferingDev]

I have mine but need to do more prep. Personally I find the prep harder to get done than actually buying my method :p

Even if you had all stuff ready - it is okay to still wait and rethink all of it. Remember to always take your time - you can always hold, you can always go back - it's totally okay.

 

[woofwag]

Even if you had all stuff ready - it is okay to still wait and rethink all of it. Remember to always take your time - you can always hold, you can always go back - it's totally okay.

Thank you I don't plan on rushing myself; if anything I want to take it slow. But I have a potential ctb partner which is cool. But yeah, nobody should feel rushed. I hope everyone in the replies can know that too.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel stuck here while I wait for my Dad to go first. My SN has recently expired too- which is pretty worrying. My Meto is already years out of date.

 

[scordatura]

Yes, definitely. I dream about situations where someone holds me or someone else up with a gun and I charge in to grab it off them just to shoot myself. I think about breaking into the slaughter house in my area to rob them of their captive bolt gun. Unrelated, but you can hear the doom when you walk by from the cows. They really know something isn't right. I think off rigging a bow and arrow in some way to shoot myself. I know it'd go horribly wrong though. I thinking of trains now. I want quick, split second death.

 

[ScaredCutter]

no. having things instantly at my finger tips makes me hesitate and reconsider easily. even if i try to start the process with said method, id keep recalling and remembering everything that i love/have and my instincts to survive is strong as fuck

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

Yeah, id be gone by the end of the week. kinda would be perfect rn, since im travelling and i already said goodbyes to my family before i left.

 

[ShadowOfASelf]

Absolutely. If I didn't CTB immediately then I would at least have a way out whenever I felt my physical problems were too much for me.

There's been cases in Canada where having access to MAID meant that people put off their death date because they knew they could go when they wanted to, while people denied MAID or who were stuck in the long regulatory process committed suicide.

The ironic part is I think a lot of people who want to CTB would live longer and probably do more with their lives day to day if they knew they could exit when it got too much for them. When you feel trapped all you can think about is escape. If you feel like you can leave a situation whenever you want, you might stick around a little longer until it gets to be too much knowing you can go at any point.

Though right now, if I had a pil or drink l I could take that would kill me 100% I would take it. Though my preferred method would be by anesthesia.

I would also do it with a gun if we were allowed guns in my country. Though that's more violent and would probably scar my family.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd be long gone if I could choose to peacefully free myself from this existence that just causes harm and suffering torturing existing beings, to me existence is just so evil, all it does is cause endless amounts of torture with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and it's horrific to me how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer, all I want is to never suffer again.

For me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the terrible mistake of existence but of course only never suffering at all is true perfection to me, this existence should never had been imposed. To suffer in this existence is just always an abomination to me which is why there's just so much horrific cruelty in how humans have made it illegal to die painlessly, the fact that I cannot just access methods like Nembutal is a terrible crime, there's just so much evil in anti-suicide, all that these people want is for others to be tortured for as much and as long as possible.

 

[GyreOfAsh]

My preferred ctb is a fantasy option. An innocent looking pill that instantly numbs all nerves, causes irreversible unconsciousness & unavoidable death. I wouldn't use it immediately, but I'd instantly start planning how to use it. I'd ideally want to take it at a place where I know I'd never be found. Like maybe before sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Before that though, I'd live life a little better. Wouldn't even necessarily plan a ctb date. I'd know when it's time.

 

[itsgone2]

I don't know. I can't even buy the gun. I'm so frustrated right now but if it were here could I pull the trigger? I've watched so many shooting videos. I know what to do. Why can't we just go through with it? I'm tired of being a coward

 

[nitrogenous]

I already have my preferred method and it's definitely a battle to keep myself safe everyday. I think I personally am trying to hold myself back to not do it in an impulsive act and also mostly because I'm scared to fail. I've always failed in the past and I don't think I can afford failing another attempt…

 

[Dinozauria]

After writing a note, I probably would CTB

 

[doomedforsure]

yes. im longing for it

 

[panhandle5363]

Yes, I'm tired.
People keep saying things will get better, but what actually happens is they get better only to get worse. You're then reminded by that fleeting happiness of how sad you are most of the time.
It's been this way since I was six. Sure, it'll get better as the responsibilities pile up. People are delusional, but apparently, I'm the problem.