Discussion If you could erase your memories, would you wanna live on ?

[passer-by]

I don't even necessarily mean an entire wipe out, as of drinking from the Styx river, but more of erasing the emotions associated with your memories.

If it all could be stored in your brain as mere facts, pure data, skills, game stats etc..lol

You would still get an enjoyment of the positive experiences and pain of the negative ones but your mind would simply not dwell on it and discard it the moment the situation was finished. I think that may be what the so called "living in a moment" concept is all about.

I just can't even imagine it though. I'm constantly haunted. I feel at this point it is my soul that is weary and that is something no memory cleanse is going to fix anymore. I feel I have lived thousand lives and I just want to rest.

My mind is trying to convince me I still have some unfinished bussiness here, but at the same time it refuses to assist me with anything beyond this point. I feel it might just be its self preservation mode and nothing more. My body still has all of its urges but I think is also starting to catch up to the situation. (I get random bursts of energy and hope, but it is more of a burden at this point because it always circles back to chronic fatigue and depression).

I don't wanna die with regrets. I don't want it to be an impulsive decision either. I want to know I have done everything there was to be done and anything else would just be a replay.

I don't know whether you believe in past lives but I have had so many flashbacks of them in my dreams throughout the years, and they did explained many of my negative emotions which I could not really pin point to any situation in my current life. It was almost overwhelming. Many times it felt more real than my real life.

I am just simply not enjoying any of this. I am not even sure at this point, whether my problem is I care too much or too little but I am just exhausted of experiencing anything new.

If I could simply hover in a void and maybe just reflect on my past for a few million years, that'd be nice.

 

[Moniker]

I don't know. Probably not. I can't imagine thinking of certain things without attaching emotion to them. A lot of who I am comes from how certain experiences made me feel. Also, I think the anger I associate with the memories I have with my family will make it easier for me to end things when the time comes.

I get random bursts of energy and hope, but it is more of a burden at this point because it always circles back to chronic fatigue and depression

I have this issue too. I chalk it up to my brain's SI trying to keep me going. It's a lot easier to keep it away when I'm able to remind myself that these moments of euphoria are all physiological - nothing has gotten better.

 

[Reflection]

If my memories were to be erased, yeah I think I'd go on to live a I used to before finding myself in this hole, at least until the same curveball happens again. However, even if that could be done I wouldn't choose to do it even if it meant losing my life, because I think memories are part of us in a way, no matter how horrible they may be and I would never willingly let go of them even if I could, I'd rather go down with the ship if that makes any sense. I also wouldn't even erase the emotions associated with them, I think that given time that happens in most cases anyway, so it doesn't make that much of a difference the way I see it.

 

[LunarLight]

Not sure it'd be enough, but it sure would help a lot. I suffer greatly today because of things I did/things that happened to me in the past.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd never wish to exist no matter the circumstances, for me personally the thought of suffering for decades longer in this cruel, torturous existence just to face the agony of old age is terrifying. I only see non-existence as desirable, I only wish and hope to never exist again, personally I wish I could just erase my existence like I never suffered at all, I never should have existed and there's so much pain in how I did.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Um, not all of us 'dwell'. My mood isn't the issue, I'm not depressed or anything. It is trauma and it has rewired my brain.

I do NOT sit and think about things - if you understood complex trauma, you'd understand where I am coming from. But, most don't. Most presume based on their own experiences

 

[Thisisme373]

No I wouldn't

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Not really, I think if my memories somehow erased I'd eventually find my way to a place like this again. As my bus draws near, I find the past only is as relevant as the consequences it imposes on the present.

As a result, memories have been devalued to me.

The material continuity of the experience bleeding into the present is to me the only real separator from the more abstract experiences (dreams) imo. I'd argue some of my dreams are more emotionally impactful than most 90% of what I do when conscious. Which to some at face value may sound sad, since they are considered less real but I'd challenge them to think about a dream they can still recall; then, question how that dream is less emotionally or visually poignant compared against the otherwise forgotten experiences of eating, drinking, and the other routine tasks that make up the bulk of human lives.

Tangent aside, my life wasn't too bad overall, and my being here is downstream from my self described "[not] too bad" life. It's just speculation but naturally I think I'd reaccumulate similar knowledge that has just innately resonated with me in the past, which would lead me to a similar situation as this.