Help If/when I eventually CTB, I'd like to be prepared for a painless method, with a near 100% success rate.

[depressionAddict]

I've attempted to CTB 2 times this year. Because of it, I spent a total of 4 weeks at the psych ward and 2.5 months at rehab. Nothing helped. Right now, my life is in phase that's a bit better than before. I have a job as a receptionist, and I also have a few people I can call my friends.

But I'm still just as empty as I've been before, and I still don't think life was meant for me. I know that my mental state will get worse again. And I don't want to fail CTB a 3rd time. I want a method that'll work.

I'm in a pretty good financial state right now, so I can make major purchases in order to prepare for CTB. Anything that can be used as poison would be the best for me, but I don't want it to be painful, I'm really scared of a painful death. I'm not brave enough to try any methods that involve pain.

Can you please help me? What method(s) do you recommend? Any resources you can point me to where I can purchase something that can be used as poison? Overdosing could also be a good method, and as I've said before, money isn't an issue. I'm willing to spend a lot on this, I'm even willing to purchase from private sources. Thanks in advance!

 

[sadyogi]

What did you try before? There's ample information in the stickied threads

 

[ham and potatoes]

im in the same boat, not sure if i will ever attempt, but would like to find a painless method available incase things go to shit.
at the moment, im thinking i will try to get something off the DNM for my backup plan
i mean, thounds die a year from drugs, and it must feel good, or they would be doing them to begin with
but it really depends on where you are as to what will be avalable to you

 

[Soupster]

It's against the rules for us to suggest methods to you. But the pinned resources in the forum should give you a good start. Also reading the PPH.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also feel like I'm not meant for this existence, I also wish for a death as painless as possible, I personally really wish suicide is as straightforward as never waking again, it'd bring me so much peace if that was the case. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you find what you search for.

 

[legoshi]

In the same boat, I feel this world wasn't meant for me, always lonely and empty. I wish fentynal was easily available. I would consume a whole bottle.