tsuina
Member
- Aug 15, 2020
- 35
igot in anoother fight with themm again always lawyas itoday it was over a fgame because i have a hard tieme with games and thye got kind of mad at me 4smething and id idnth andle it very well and we star ted to fight a bit btu it got wors enad owrse and worse and worse and i feel like im covered in dirt and filthy and i feel stupid i feel like if i used my rbrain for once id be good enough and i mean eveyron e always claled me stpid my teachers clled me stupid god clleead me stupid everybody canlled me stupid and my ex bfs claled me stupid too bc i amstupid it must be true i think my brain has parasites im sure idk mayeb it does sometimes it felsl like i t at leastm ygut must have parasites ican fee tl those ltitle btiches moving in there allt he time an churting me and th egut is an improtant placefor human functio nso if its dysfuctional i am dysfuntional i think idk but i'm jst so stupid and like idserve being yelleda t like that even when im jsut docile ideserve bing yelled at and claled selfish and told hrorrible thins about myself bc my abusive past tells me "if someone loves me they will hurt me they will punish me when i mess up" thats hwtai t tells me ive gone by that my whole life ene my father lvoed im sure i hate his all i hate it ijust wanna be free in heaven wth peplee that love me who dont hurt me allt hepople ive lost i wnana be with them bc the poeple that lvoed me withut hurting me are gone theyre in the afterlife nadi miss them i wish god woudld let me see the mowne more time i wsih so badly all ican do is get visions of them when im upset nad hear them calling me toj oin i hear tem calling me i see them whe n i close my eyes and in my dreams i see their faces similings oh god i miss them so much i msis them maybe tis the parasites in my brain i think im gogn g crazy bottlom line is whe n somebody loves you a lot theyre gonnahurt you really ba dly i think
