if she doesn't reply im ending it tonight

[ravenx]

all it takes is one text from her to stop what im going to do

 

[fly]

all it takes is one text from her to stop what im going to do

Hey, what are you planning to do? How are you feeling right now?

 

[MidnightCat]

You should never put the weight of your life in another's hand.

A text, or lackthereof should never decide your fate. And if you said to her that she can stop it... that's blackmail :/

If you want to go... sorry, let us know if we can help you or talk about it. But don't get others involved in such a way...

 

[dexdbxtchthewxtch]

This is an extremely poor basis on which to make a life/death decision. Not gonna lie. It seems like you need to seek help, and she needs to stay away from you. What you are doing is not okay in any way shape or form and you are not going to get any enabling responses from anyone here.

 

[sadwriter]

^I'm with MidnightCat– I'm really sorry that you're in the place of wanting to CTB because of your feelings towards this person (slash whatever else you're dealing with), and I know you must be in a ton of pain. But your life is yours to decide to end or keep going with. Don't hand over that power to someone else or put the responsibility on her.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

I honestly cannot judge. I'm also considering to ctb because my ex breaking up with me triggered the deepest and most soul-crushing crisis of faith in my entire life. I know, let go, she's not worth it, blablabla, but it's almost impossible to understand once someone you love hurts your deepest core.

I hope she replies, man, I really do. And I hope that reply turns into a conversation, open and loving, and that that conversation turns into a new chance at life.

 

[ravenx]

You should never put the weight of your life in another's hand.

A text, or lackthereof should never decide your fate. And if you said to her that she can stop it... that's blackmail :/

If you want to go... sorry, let us know if we can help you or talk about it. But don't get others involved in such a way...

oh no no don't worry she doesn't know about it. we had a fight and she doesn't want to talk. she's been pretty much everything and im empty. and no, she doesn't need to know this. (she did know that i had suicidal thoughts before but i promised her I wouldn't talk about it)

Hey, what are you planning to do? How are you feeling right now?

i tried to buy a gun first but i couldn't, so im sticking to what i have now; a rope, maybe i could jump from a building but i dont wanna seek attention.

 

[MidnightCat]

oh no no don't worry she doesn't know about it. we had a fight and she doesn't want to talk. she's been pretty much everything and im empty. and no, she doesn't need to know this.

Thank you for clarifying, that's a really important distinction.

May I ask.. why are you considering to ctb?

 

[ravenx]

Thank you for clarifying, that's a really important distinction.

May I ask.. why are you considering to ctb?

im in a lot of pain. my teeth hurts as well as my dislocated jaw, i have TMJ. i have ingrown nails in my hands which cause me a lot of pain too, to be exact i have 3 fingers where just touching causes pain. i don't even know i got a gf.
im poor too, i don't have resources and im going to college and im just stressed out.

 

[Yume Nikki]

I honestly cannot judge. I'm also considering to ctb because my ex breaking up with me triggered the deepest and most soul-crushing crisis of faith in my entire life. I know, let go, she's not worth it, blablabla, but it's almost impossible to understand once someone you love hurts your deepest core.

I hope she replies, man, I really do. And I hope that reply turns into a conversation, open and loving, and that that conversation turns into a new chance at life.

Same here, ever since my ex left me back in November, I've cried almost every night looking back at all the memories we made and wondering if any of it was even real. When we got together I thought my life was genuinely going to change and that a bright future was just far beyond the horizon.. until then he told me the most devastating news of my life. I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but it was a time where I had so much fun with him and felt loved, and then he took it all away in the blink of an eye.

 

[MidnightCat]

im in a lot of pain. my teeth hurts as well as my dislocated jaw, i have TMJ. i have ingrown nails in my hands which cause me a lot of pain too, to be exact i have 3 fingers where just touching causes pain. i don't even know i got a gf.
im poor too, i don't have resources and im going to college and im just stressed out.

Sorry about your pain,

I'm no expert, but didn't the doctors gave you painkillers or something along those lines?

TMJ should be curable, not sure where do you live... but a visit to thr hospital might help

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Same here, ever since my ex left me back in November, I've cried almost every night looking back at all the memories we made and wondering if any of it was even real. When we got together I thought my life was genuinely going to change and that a bright future was just far beyond the horizon.. until then he told me the most devastating news of my life. I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but it was a time where I had so much fun with him and felt loved, and then he took it all away in the blink of an eye.

I don't want to hijack OP's post, but I'm going exactly exactly through that and I know your pain. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk: I don't think it's dramatic, I won't judge, I also feel like she took the hope I had with her so..yeah, I can empathize.

 

[ravenx]

Sorry about your pain,

I'm no expert, but didn't the doctors gave you painkillers or something along those lines?

TMJ should be curable, not sure where do you live... but a visit to thr hospital might help

i dont have insurance. i can't feel pleasure at all and all i feel is pain. it's like if i was in a torture chamber

 

[Endlichkeit]

im in a lot of pain. my teeth hurts as well as my dislocated jaw, i have TMJ. i have ingrown nails in my hands which cause me a lot of pain too, to be exact i have 3 fingers where just touching causes pain. i don't even know i got a gf.
im poor too, i don't have resources and im going to college and im just stressed out.

All of these issues can be fixed. Especially gf issues. It's wrong to think that "she's the only one" (maybe only in some exceptional cases it's true), you'll always find a more suitable alternative, so she's not worth it, if she causes too much mental distress, forget her. All of your problems can be solved, and it's not that hard to do compared to for example people with incurable chronic illnesses or disabilities. But of course I'm not saying these are not valid reasons to ctb, I don't even think one needs a reason at all.

 

[Yume Nikki]

I don't want to hijack OP's post, but I'm going exactly exactly through that and I know your pain. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk: I don't think it's dramatic, I won't judge, I also feel like she took the hope I had with her so..yeah, I can empathize.

I may reach out and hopefully OP can do the same if they want to as well, sorry if I went a bit offtopic in regards to my situation I just wanted to let others know that they aren't alone in this. As for OP, there were definitely moments in which I would worry or fear that my ex would ignore my messages one day and I would end it all, but I began to relax as time went by because he still ended up blocking/ghosting me afterwards. I don't know why people ghost but it happens to all of us unfortunately, and the only thing we can do is try to connect with new people.

 

[KillingPain267]

I honestly cannot judge. I'm also considering to ctb because my ex breaking up with me triggered the deepest and most soul-crushing crisis of faith in my entire life. I know, let go, she's not worth it, blablabla, but it's almost impossible to understand once someone you love hurts your deepest core.

Same! Some people think breakups are a stupid trivial reason to be depressed and/or suicidal, but it's one of the major causes of suicides around the world. Sure we should TRY not to let such things decide our life and death, but people should not trivialize it. Everyone has a different pain threshhold and people put value in different things. I don't understand other people's reasons for being tired of life, but at least I try to respect their feelings and decisions.

 

[ravenx]

All of these issues can be fixed. Especially gf issues. It's wrong to think that "she's the only one" (maybe only in some exceptional cases it's true), you'll always find a more suitable alternative, so she's not worth it, if she causes too much mental distress, forget her. All of your problems can be solved, and it's not that hard to do compared to for example people with incurable chronic illnesses or disabilities. But of course I'm not saying these are not valid reasons to ctb, I don't even think one needs a reason at all.

this is good advice tbh but honestly I don't know how to react to all of these things happening to me

 

[Defenestration]

J'ai très mal. Mes dents me font mal ainsi que ma mâchoire disloquée, j'ai une ATM. J'ai des ongles incarnés dans les mains qui me causent aussi beaucoup de douleur, pour être exact, j'ai 3 doigts où le simple fait de les toucher me fait mal. Je ne sais même pas que j'ai une petite amie.
Moi aussi je suis pauvre, je n'ai pas de ressources et je vais à l'université et je suis juste stressé.

Do you like black metal?

 

[KillingPain267]

All of these issues can be fixed. Especially gf issues. It's wrong to think that "she's the only one" (maybe only in some exceptional cases it's true), you'll always find a more suitable alternative, so she's not worth it, if she causes too much mental distress, forget her. All of your problems can be solved, and it's not that hard to do compared to for example people with incurable chronic illnesses or disabilities. But of course I'm not saying these are not valid reasons to ctb, I don't even think one needs a reason at all.

You don't know what can or cannot be fixed. You sound like pro-lifers, they also say most things can be fixed if you just try more and more treatments. The FACT is that someone who has spent years deeply in love with someone who then suddenly discarded you, it just... it changes you. And can leave permanent damage in the brain which is also a type of chronic (psychiatric) illness. There are also people who find a new partner but forever pine over their first love. It's not something that everyone experiences but it happens a lot. Sure we should TRY to heal, but the fact is that it sometimes cannot be fixed. Let's be realistic.

 

[ravenx]

Do you like black metal?

i do, i often listen to dsbm bands like happy days

 

[easypeasy]

We all have free willl. To choose death because somebody isn't exercising their will to your liking is very entitled. I know you're sad… and your self esteem has obviously taken some hit. But try to make sense of what I just said.

Recognise that you need help and it's unfair to put that pressure on yourself and another person.

Putting all of Your worth inside a text message is a game you've already lost because even if that message arrives, it doesn't help you. It will just feed into this radical ultimatum you've given the universe.

 

[Defenestration]

i do, i often listen to dsbm bands like happy days

I listened to a lot of dsbm between 2007 and 2010... I know happy days and morbid. your hand problem made me think of the musician from Nocturnal Depression lord Lokhraed

 

[EternalShore]

just sleep and see if she answers in the morning~ :)

 

[ravenx]

just sleep and see if she answers in the morning~ :)

i tried this yesterday, she blocked me. im pretty sure at this point she's just done, I'm done too, but in a different way

 

[EternalShore]

i tried this yesterday, she blocked me. im pretty sure at this point she's just done, I'm done too, but in a different way

I'm sorry to hear~ :( That's disappointing... but putting it all up to one relationship with a person whose response you already know is not very good at all~ >_< I wish things could get better for you and will pray for you~ :(

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

this is good advice tbh but honestly I don't know how to react to all of these things happening to me

I feel for you too together with everyone here, and hope that you can just take some time to step back, not do anything, not think anything, just let time pass for a while. You received some good advice on here, and you are not alone even if it feels that way now. Sending you love

 

[ravenx]

I feel for you too together with everyone here, and hope that you can just take some time to step back, not do anything, not think anything, just let time pass for a while. You received some good advice on here, and you are not alone even if it feels that way now. Sending you love

Thank you, I really did hope things could get better.

 

[Endlichkeit]

You don't know what can or cannot be fixed. You sound like pro-lifers, they also say most things can be fixed if you just try more and more treatments. The FACT is that someone who has spent years deeply in love with someone who then suddenly discarded you, it just... it changes you. And can leave permanent damage in the brain which is also a type of chronic (psychiatric) illness. There are also people who find a new partner but forever pine over their first love. It's not something that everyone experiences but it happens a lot. Sure we should TRY to heal, but the fact is that it sometimes cannot be fixed. Let's be realistic.

These specific issues theoretically can be fixed, it's just a fact.
But you're describing a different situation - "spending years deeply in love with someone", this is not OP's situation judging by what they wrote.

 

[loneloser]

i do, i often listen to dsbm bands like happy days

i love dbsm too :)