Venting If only I could go back in time and love myself more and avoid that south Asian man my life would have turned out different

[Journeytoletgo]

Life would have still been crap and I'd be forever alone because of my skin disease however at least I wouldn't have all these traumas dealing with men. And you know who put it into my head my bullies. They said I looked Indian and my foolishness looked for an Indian man online who took advantage of me and was an abuser who broke me. I went into self destruction mode and ruined my chance at escaping home I could have went on campus but I spiraled into a deep depression after him and haven't recovered instead sought other men or men that approached me I allowed them to use me out of my own low self esteem and loneliness

Horrible I didn't need these extra problems I wish I wasn't so dumb. I'd be a lot healthier mentally sure the bully trauma, and skin condition trauma id still CTB but the fact that I was used makes me want to die quickly

 

[DPJ187]

This is awful to read, I am sorry you are struggling with your life so much. Let me assure you all men are not bad people, in fact most of us try to be nice. I totally understand why you feel all men are users from your experience but remembering see any abusive behaviour I will always go and make sure whoever is suffering knows I'm there to help. I think simply it comes down to confidence for you, you're only treated how you let yourself get treated. Find your red lines make them clear and if they are crossed then you must leave, regardless of the situation. You have as much right to happiness as the next person, your not tainted or somehow lesser, you are equal, you are just as important and what you want for your life, or what is acceptable, is up to you. Peace, happiness and love to you. Remember you can start fresh anytime you choose, if you commit to it fully.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am so sorry that someone preyed on you like that. You did not deserve that treatment as no one does

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think we all have basically these sale type type of thoughts about different "paths" we could have taken, and if we had taken them, how different our lives would be now. Unfortunately, the choices we made, or even, in some cases, the choices that were thrust upon us, are what have gotten us to here.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

This is awful to read, I am sorry you are struggling with your life so much. Let me assure you all men are not bad people, in fact most of us try to be nice. I totally understand why you feel all men are users from your experience but remembering see any abusive behaviour I will always go and make sure whoever is suffering knows I'm there to help. I think simply it comes down to confidence for you, you're only treated how you let yourself get treated. Find your red lines make them clear and if they are crossed then you must leave, regardless of the situation. You have as much right to happiness as the next person, your not tainted or somehow lesser, you are equal, you are just as important and what you want for your life, or what is acceptable, is up to you. Peace, happiness and love to you. Remember you can start fresh anytime you choose, if you commit to it fully.

I agree I have bad self esteem, and confidence issues however can you blame me? I know they all aren't bad I just had a rough start with the WRONG ones. It could have been different if I stayed away from HIM south Asian men not all however from what I hear they are really awful no offense to anyone who is Indian however I should have known better however I was so naive about the world, other peoples differences views and cultures

I met a nice man however I ruined it with alcoholism and thinking he wanted to use me as I assume people want to use me

I think we all have basically these sale type type of thoughts about different "paths" we could have taken, and if we had taken them, how different our lives would be now. Unfortunately, the choices we made, or even, in some cases, the choices that were thrust upon us, are what have gotten us to here.

Yeah the unfortunate truth. Poor decisions

It's sad

 

[DPJ187]

So what you've established is you have issues, it's not unusual especially here. Confidence comes with making the correct choices for you. Here would be my advice and it is only advice. Put yourself at the front of your mind for the next two weeks, every decision you make base it on whether it will help you or someone else. It's an old trick called resetting the balance. You dont have to be selfish, it's all about being aware that we all have more control over our lives than we think, hopefully you will see you make more choices than you realise and your making them to please others, start pleasing yourself, fulfil your needs as a person. Then the prospective partners you attract will see you dont need validation from them that you are looking for a well rounded partner, not just another Jack the lad trying his luck. Value yourself. I'm sure there are probably better people to give you advice but that's my two cents. As I've said before, your part of this community, we value your thought and opinions so all is not lost.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

So what you've established is you have issues, it's not unusual especially here. Confidence comes with making the correct choices for you. Here would be my advice and it is only advice. Put yourself at the front of your mind for the next two weeks, every decision you make base it on whether it will help you or someone else. It's an old trick called resetting the balance. You dont have to be selfish, it's all about being aware that we all have more control over our lives than we think, hopefully you will see you make more choices than you realise not your making them to please others, start pleasing yourself, fulfil your needs as a person. Then the prospective partners you attract will see you dont need validation from them that you are looking for a well rounded partner, not just another Jack the lad trying his luck. Value yourself. I'm sure there are probably better people to give you advice but that's my two cents. As I've said before, your part od this community, we value your thought and opinions so all is not lost.

Yes I recognize I have deep self esteem issues because of the treatment I received in my teens for my skin disease my esteem was tied to my looks and how my peers treated me. Because I was ostracized my self esteem dropped causing me to make poor decisions later out of lack of trust in myself setting me up for abuse.