if only i could drop dead right now

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

I resent the fact that I'm still alive. I shouldn't fucking be here. I should have CTB'ed years ago, everything has ended up in absolute shit. Never getting a break. Whether I approach things positively, negatively, things just go wrong. Oh so fucking wrong. I am at my breaking point tbh and have been for a while but jesus christ. I hate how difficult it is to CTB. Because of where I live (stupid fucking rural area) I can't even go for more extreme high mortality methods like throwing myself in front of a train or jumping off a building. I don't have any supplies for more complex methods anyways and even so, I would barely be able to afford them. Ideally I would like to die by SN but it's so fucking hard to get in this stupid prison island. Contemplating just hanging myself tbh. Why overcomplicate things honestly. I decided my time to go was long ago and that time is now. I wish it was easier to find a partner nearby that already has supplies but alas

fuck everything tbh whoever said it gets better was lying

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be free from it all, it feels so cruel to me how it's so difficult to be free from this existence, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again with no risks of it going wrong and just leading to more suffering as a result. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[lawlietsph]

I am so sorry. I feel everything you say. It is so horrible and I wish to just be free from this never ending nightmare :(

 

[hangingbaboon]

I feel the same. I long for death to take me. To not have to suffer this existence one second longer than needed.

Taking my own life would cause the few people that care about me an enormous amount of pain. I feel so guilty about thinking about ending my life. To just Vanish like i never would have existed would be such a blessing.

I hope you find your peace.